Hi there,
You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
Be safe,
NRS
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17 year old in PA
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Guest repliedI’m 17 years old and want to live with my dad.
I live with my mom and step dad and I’m every unhappy here. My mom doesn’t support anything I do and I called my dad and he’s bringing me with him to his house; my mother is aware of this. However, I don’t want to return, and my dad knows I don’t want to come back and he said he doesn’t want me to be unhappy. I can state an opinion and she’ll immediately yell and scream or call me a failure. For example, I told her I want to go to community college and want to pursue a career with writing. She basically said I’m going to be a failure and that I’m going to end up like my father, who is on disability and is 23 years clean of drugs. I constantly argue with her and the way she talks to me and treats me makes me stressed. I hate it here and I’m sick of it.
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Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It defiantly sounds like you are going through a difficult time, and we are here to help you.
It is unfair that you are having to do so much around the house, it is understandable that this is having a large impact on your mental and physical health. You do have the right to make a report for this neglect you can make a report by calling Child Help at : 1800-422-4453. You can also call or chat with us and we would be able to help you make a report.
Another option you may want to consider is emancipation. For emancipation you would need to go through a court process and if it goes through you would have adult rights before you turn 18. We do want you to know that it is not a guaranteed you would become emancipated, even after going through the process. To find out more about emancipation you can call your local court house or you can call us and we can provide you with legal aid numbers in your area.
We understand that all this stress can have an impact on your overall well-being, you may want to consider talking to a school counselor or a therapist about what is going on at home. Another great resource that may be able to help is called NAMI (national alliance on mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available to help and support you 24/7.
NRS
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Guest repliedi’m turn 17 tomorrow I live with both my mom and i’m forced to do basically everything chore wise within the household. I cook, clean, look after the dogs, look after my sisters daughter a couple times a week. I get called names get told I don’t do anything. When in reality i do basics every thing. It’s been like this forever and i’m at the point where i’m tired of all the neglect and I want to know what my options are. I want to cut ties completely with my family. I’m ready to be on my own before I go off on one of them or do something to myself. My living situation has already been having negative effects on my mental and physical health for years.
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Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.
Because we don't know all of the details of your particular situation, it's tough to say what options might be available to you. That said, it sounds like you're aware of the emancipation process and what that looks like, and that's generally one of the few legal ways to leave home. If you have someone else that you can stay with, like a family member or a friend, it might be worth trying to talk with your CPS worker about those options and why they might be better suited for you. It also looks like you might be able to talk with your CPS worker about Independent Living Programs, which they have to recommend you for. You can learn more about your legal rights in foster care, emancipation and the different Independent Living Programs by visiting: https://cca-ct.org/FinalFosterCareDec2012.pdf
If you'd like to chat in more detail about your specific situation and continue to explore your options, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.
Take care.
NRS
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Guest repliedHello,
I’m 17 I turn 18 in 4 months and was placed in a foster home by children youth. I ran away today and plan to stay on the run until I’m 18 unless I can get a legal way out. Is there any legal way out besides emancipation and what could the consequences be as well?
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. While we are not legal experts by any means, we can speak generally about laws regarding youth in crisis. 18 is usually the age you are able to leave home without permission from your parents or guardians. If you leave home before turning 18, your parents can choose to report you as a runaway to the police. In that case, the police area able to return you home if you are found. Running away is not illegal and it is only a status offense which means you will not be arrested or charged with a crime. In most cases the consequences for running away are up to your parents rather than the police, so it is hard to predict exactly what might happen.
If you would like to talk more about your situation or you have additional questions, please reach out to us directly by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.
Take care,
NRS
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Guest repliedI'm 17 and I want to know that if you runaway and the cops bring you back what would happen if you just kept doing it over and over again
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS on behalf of your boyfriend. You mentioned that he is considering leaving because he does not feel safe at home. We are not legal experts, but we can speak generally about laws regarding a minor leaving home without permission. If your boyfriend leaves home without permission before he turns 18, his parents can report him as a runaway to the police. If his parents know where he is staying, they can ask police to return him home. Although it does not happen often, there is a risk that whoever he stays with could be charged with harboring a runaway. There is not a universal way that police handle runaway reports and some counties are more lenient about letting a 17 year old choose where they live. You can anonymously call the police department where your boyfriend lives to ask more specifically if they would take a runaway report and if they would force him back home.
We hope this information is helpful. If you or your boyfriend would like to talk more about his situation and explore his possible options, please don't hesitate to reach out again by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.
Best of luck,
NRS
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Guest repliedMy boyfriend is 17 his home life isn't the best you could say mentally and physically abusive he has been in some trouble with the law before but over the years he's changed could he or my mom get in trouble if he runs away and moves in with me? He will be 18 in September
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Hi there,
Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. From what you have shared, there have been many incidents of physical and emotional abuse at home that are preventing you from feeling safe. We care a lot about your safety and we want you to know that you are not alone. We are here to listen and help as much as possible.
While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally about runaway laws. If you leave home without permission as a minor, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense. This means your parents can ask police to return you home if they know where you are staying. Whoever you are staying with could be at risk of being charged with harboring a runaway which is a misdemeanor in most cases. Now, some police do not enforce runaway reports for someone who is 17 years old and might not take any action to force you back home. We suggest that any young person wanting to know more about this call the non-emergency line for their local police department to ask an officer (this can be done anonymously). They can give the most specific information regarding runaway reports.
We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.
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Guest repliedhello, i am a 16 year old girl living in PA
my parents are extremely emotionally and verbally abusive, they have denied me therapy all though i have severe depression and anxiety. they gaslighted me my whole life, pushed ED me on me since i was little and my dad got mad at me one day a year ago and choked me to get my phone out of my bra as punishment. they don't believe me when i recall these events, but when i bring up what happened with my dad that day "oh what so you think he's abusive now? all that we do and buy you?". whenever they would do something ********ed yo, particularly my dad or when he would but his hands on me they'd make me promise not to tell anyone. they have homeschooled me and my siblings since i was in 2nd grade so i don't have any outside sources. i feel as though it i continue to live at home i will go deeper into my suicidal thoughts and i am scared of what could happen. i have a girlfriend who i love who i could move in with, as we already have plans to do. i don't want her to get in trouble with the law, my parents don't like her and i know they would do that. she just turned 19. i'm turning 17 in 3 months and wondering what the could legally do if i ran away (and stayed with a different friend) for a bit until i was 18. there hasn't been enough abuse to get my family in trouble (i don't think) but it's still not safe enough here. my parents are so controlling. they both have childhood trauma that i feel is heavily affecting them, my mother is basically a teenager and is so clueless and my father was spanked and beat by his father and is very emotionless and is a "what i say goes" type of person, and just says no for fun. he's a cop too so has been trained to not be able to handle disrespect.
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS) and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your daughter is faced with right now and has for quite sometime. It must be very difficult to see your daughter struggle under the care of her mother who is clearly abusive in many ways. It is also clear that you love and care about your daughter very much.
You mentioned some things that raise concern for your daughter’s safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening where she is living, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation. Also, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.
Regarding legal options, there are often legal services available at reduced rates which can be located using google search engine, or feel free to give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we are happy to assist as well. Also feel free to contact us at www.1800runaway.org and click on the chat button.
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you can reach out soon.
Take care,
NRS
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Guest repliedMy daughter is contemplating-laying running away(again), she just turned 16 in May. Her mother does not let her text, talk, or contact me in any form. She has been mentally and At times physically abused for years. Her mother will never sign off on her becoming emancipated and living with me nor do I have the resources to keep fighting her in family court. What are her/my options for making her feel safe and loved?
Thank you,
Perplexed in Pa
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Hello,
Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you opening up to us the way you did. It takes a lot for someone to speak out about what they are going through, so your efforts definitely don’t go unnoticed.
You mentioned that your dad grabs you sometimes, and pin you up against the wall. No person should ever have to go through that abuse. We know what you’re going through is tough, so please know we are also a 24/7 hotline. Please feel free to reach out to us if you need someone to talk to. You can also reach out to an abuse hotline called, “Child Help,” and their phone number is 1800) 442-4453.As far as running away, we aren’t legal experts, but you can call your local police station, and find out more information in your county or state.
You can try to have a conversation with your mom, and see if you both can come up with plan to work out the situation with your step dad. She’s your legal guardian, and could be able to assist you in moving out before you turn 18.
Again, thank you so much for reaching out to us. You are super brave to open up the way you did, and we want you to be okay. If there is anything else we assist you with, please don’t hesitate to call in. 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.
Best,
NRS
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