So tired of living with my parents

[Unregistered]

My mom is always yelling at me, grounding me, and stuff. I know it may sound really petty, but it's EVERY DAY. If I get 100% in a really hard test and I feel really good about it, she'll say "Well why don't you get 100% on ALL your tests?" It's like she's purposefully making me miserable. Nothing I do is good enough for her. My dad makes excuses for her all the time, like "She's stressed out," like that's a good reason to be all mad at me and ruin my life!

She never lets me hang out with my friends, saying "I won't let you embarrass our family name if you can't behave at home" and the only thing I do "misbehaving" is yelling back at her after she starts screaming at me. I even try to diffuse any situation, saying "I'm not engaging if you're yelling at me" and walking to my room, but she always follows me in or stands outside the door yelling at me through it, I do yell back because she's literally saying everything she possibly can to get a reaction.

And I gained weight from this medicine I had to take and she got sooo mad at me, like "Why do I always have to buy you clothes!" and made me feel really bad about myself. Just to paint a picture of our relationship, once when I was only NINE YEARS OLD (I'm 15 now) she drove me to a playground/park that was known to be where all the drug dealers and other people you wouldn't want your NINE YEAR OLD to meet DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, and kept threatening me that she would kick me out and wait for the police to come pick me up. I was so scared I almost fainted.

And I'm a good kid; I never do drugs or anything. I don't get in trouble with ANYBODY EVER EXCEPT FOR HER!!!! I'm a nice person to everyone else, but she just needs to yell at me all the time. And then she comes up with some theory, like she said that I'm bipolar when I was 11 (which, btw, is veeeeery rare in anyone under 17) and she kept saying it even after she took me to a psychologist who said that I wasn't. And anything I do supports these theories. She scrapped that one, and her current idea is that I can't carry on a conversation. The only reason I can't carry on a conversation with her is that she gets pissed at EVERYTHING I DO. I can speak just fine with everyone else. So, because of this stupid theory that I can't carry on a conversation, she takes me to a thousand psychologists telling them that she thinks I have Asperger's syndrome, and they all tell her that I'm not, even after having a day long evaluation.

She's abused me before, locked me in the super hot garage (it's really hot where I live, especially if you're in a garage) for a few hours and I only got out because I woke up the neighbors because I was screaming for someone to let me out. She's hit me and stuff, but never enough to leave a big bruise. She threatens to kill me at least once a month. And I reported it to child services and I think they investigated but didn't have enough proof for a case or something. I actually don't know what went on with that because after I reported it, the lady came to my school and spoke to me, and then I never heard from her again. My father even reported my mom to child services, so it's not like I'm blowing this out of proportion.

So, here's the point. I really want to get away from my parents. I lived in a halfway house for a while (my mom got pissed off at me because I told her that I wanted to take biology next year instead of band, and it grew into an argument, and she said "I'm getting rid of you" and dropped me off at the halfway house) and it is miserable, no way am I going to live there. My only close relative lives in a nursing home. I don't want to live with friends for the rest of my school years, but I certainly don't want to live with my family either! Tell me, what are my options? Child services won't do anything, I don't want to live in the miserable halfway house. The only thing I can see is maybe a boarding school, but my parents can't afford that because my mom blows away half her salary on gambling. PLEASE HELP

[ccsmod10]

RE: So tired of living with my parents

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us during this scary and difficult time. We are sorry to hear that you are going through this. Nobody deserves to be abused or made to feel unwanted in their own home. It sounds like you have gone through so much and have not been helped by child protective services or the police. It also sounds like you have been placed in a home before but it was not a good environment. You mentioned that your father has reported your mom to CPS before, would he help you find another safe place to live?

It also sounds like your mom has made you feel bad because of your body. Nobody deserves to be made ashamed of who they are or for what they look like. www.twola.com is a supportive website for people who are struggling with these issues. You mentioned that you have already looked into other resources and alternative places to stay but have no relatives nearby who can help you. We think it’s great you are so resourceful and have really done your homework. You have already done a lot of what we would suggest!

Have you looked into emancipation at all? Depending on what state you are in, if you are able to prove that you can provide for yourself and can live independently of your parents, you may petition the courts to be declared independent. This process can take time and money, but we would be more than happy to look up any phone numbers of legal resources in your area to start the process.

Another option would be to go to a safe place or shelter. Although most youth shelters are temporary, some will help you find transitional housing. Have you talked to anyone about where you could go? We have a large database where we could look up shelters and alternative living programs such as Job Corp http://www.jobcorps.gov/home.aspx where you could finish your education and live in peace.

We want you to know that you have the right to feel safe, and have the right to go to school regardless of your living situation. We can be reached at any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We can also be reached by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck. Stay safe and take care!

- NRS