neglect?

[Guest]

my mom told me to close my bedroom door because they didnt want to hear from me. is that a form of neglect?

and seperately from that question...
my mom has many mental disorders and is physically abusive.
im so scared for my own life. when i was little i almost died when my mom broke my top three vertebra.
im only 15 but what can i do to get away from it. i cant stand it anymore.

my parents are still married but my dad is too oblivious to realize that these things are going on. and when i did try to tell him once he just blew me off and said that my mom would never do anything like that.

and im too afraid to talk about it in person or even to my friends because i do love my parents...i think...and i dont want to be put in foster care...i just want to get away for awhile.

[ccsmod7]

Re: neglect?

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. I’m glad that you felt comfortable sharing such a difficult situation. It sounded like your main question was about neglect, but it sounds like the biggest concern may be that you’re “scared for your own life.” How long have you been feeling this way? Nobody deserves to be put in a situation where they are scared and feel like they may be in physical danger. You mentioned that this has been going on since you were little. When you talk about your mom putting you in physical danger, what exactly does that mean? Do you feel threatened all the time, or are there certain times she gets physically violent with you? You mentioned that your dad is oblivious to this situation, and that you tried to tell him once and he basically blew you off? How long ago did you try to tell him what was going on? Do you think trying to sit down and speak with him again would help? You said you were nervous about talking with others, but do you think it would help to be able to talk to someone about what is going on? If you don’t feel comfortable talking with someone face to face you could always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential call, so even if you wanted to just talk about what has been going on you can do that. We are mandated reporters here, but as long as you don’t tell us the abusers name and your address or phone number we don’t have to make a report. You mentioned feeling a little nervous about reporting, and that’s why I wanted to mention this. Now if you ever feel like you do want to report this abuse to child protective services we can help with that as well. We would be able to call CPS with you and talk about reporting what is happening and they would probably be able to give you more information about investigating this situation. In the end, it’s very brave of you to be able to write about what is going on, because it sounds like it’s been very difficult for you. But like mentioned before, you can always give us a call 24 hours at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk more about the situation. Best of luck with everything.

[Guest]

Re: neglect?

I've been feeling like this for awhile now.
Like this morning I woke up to screaming and when I left my bedroom my mom was like choke-holding my dad and was like trying to claw at him. And I know that it wasn't his fault. She is so crazy...she isn't mentally stable at all. It scares me because I don't want her to do that to my dad or me.
And my mom used to be physically hurting me but now its just threats and she takes it out on my dad instead of me...but I'm still afraid that she is going to do something to me if I push her buttons...or even if she is just in a bad mood.
And my dad just doesn't know what to do. He doesn't understand how much it hurts me to try to pretend like everything is going okay. But he isn't around half the time so he doesn't know what is really going on.
And if I were to report it what would happen? I don't want to loose my parents...they are my parents afterall...but I just can't stand being near them anymore. I don't want to get hurt.
Would threatening be verbal abuse and since I tell them to stop would that be considered harassment? I've been a peer mentor so I kinda know what those terms mean...but not completely.

[ccsmod5]

Re: neglect?

Hey,

Yeah, sounds like some very intense stuff is going on in your home. It's very understandable that you'd want to watch out for yourself but at the same time, not lose your parents. It's going to be difficult to try and "legally" leave your house without your parents knowing. If you were to make a report, social services would investigate the situation and decide where you need to be and that may mean you will not live with your parents and you'd be placed with another relative or family friend that's be willing to have you.

It also sounds like you don't want to make a big fuss about it and tell other people but in order for your voice to get heard, you'd have to tell someone like social services.

How about this, what does your ideal situation look like? Where would you live and how do you see your relationship with your parents continuing?

As far as neglect, your situation would be filed more that neglect. It seems more like physical abuse and emotional abuse.

If you have more questions, please keep posting but for clearer details, give us a call at 1800 RUNAWAY.

Best of luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: neglect?

I'm too afraid to call because I don't want my parents to over hear me and I don't want them to find your number on the cell phone bill because it lists every single call that has been made. And we don't have a house phone anymore.

So...
My ideal situation would to keep in contact with my parents but maybe live with one of my friends. I've talked a little to my friend's mom and she said that she wouldn't mind having me live with them but I know that my dad wouldn't let me leave. But I need to. I don't feel safe at all here anymore. I want out.

[ccsmod7]

Re: neglect?

It’s definitely not an easy situation you are dealing with. It’s understandable that you are having conflicting thoughts about what’s going on and what you want to do. But from what you said in this last post it sounds like you do not feel safe in your home and you really do not want to be there anymore. If you feel threatened by your mom, than perhaps the option of making a report would be something you may want to think about. You said that you have already been in contact with a friend’s parents and been able to talk with them a bit about what has been going on. Have you told them that you do not feel safe in your home, or mentioned any of the problems your family has been having, especially with your mom? You mentioned feeling nervous about calling in because you don’t want your parents to know. Would there be anytime you may be able to call from a friend’s house or even call on a pay phone in a safe area? It may take a while for you to decide exactly what you want to do, because in the end it is ultimately your decision, but you also don't have to go through this alone. You do, however, have every right to feel safe where you live, and if that means making a report and possibly getting out of the home that may be an option. If there is anytime you could call in anyone here would be happy to talk to you more about the situation. If you don’t feel ready to make a report right away, that’s fine. We are hear just to listen if that’s what you need right now. If you feel you do want to make a report, we can help call with you and be on the phone with you while you talk with a case worker. As said before we are a completely confidential hotline so whatever is said is between you and the person you speak with. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and if you ever get a chance to call, we will try and help in anyway we can.

[Guest]

Re: neglect?

Yeah, my friends mom knows whats been going on. And she really is more than willing to take me in because her mom was the exact same way.

I think that what I'm going to do is find a way to use my other friends phone to call sometime this week after school. I've been really thinking about what is going on and I think that it might be best to talk to somebody and possibly make a report. Or I might sneak out tomorrow when my parents aren't home.

If I do open a report can my parents close it? They always hide things and pretend like nothing is going on and I don't really even have physical evidence. I'm so spoiled and get whatever I want and try to hide it myself so that my friends, teachers, and neighbors don't suspect anything.

[ccsmod7]

Re: neglect?

Well it sounds like you have a pretty good plan. It will probably be easier to talk and get more information about making a report if you give us a call, and you already know you can call us anytime. It's good to hear that you have a support in your friend and her mom because it sounds like that has been veryimportant for you. As far as making an abuse report it is hard to say exactly what will happen until we speak with Child Protective Services. If there are questions or concerns you would like to bring up on the phone with them, perhaps writing those down before you call in would help. Often times when a report is made they will try and send out a case worker in order to investigate the situation. It's great that you have thought so much about what you want to do, but in the end it sounds like your biggest concern is getting safe and staying safe. There is someone here all the time, so whenever you get a chance to call in would be great. Best of luck.