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I don't think I can take this.

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  • I don't think I can take this.

    I've always tried to be a strong person, but I think that this may be the end. I am transgender Female to Male, and everyone I know accepts it, or they believe that I was biologically male. I am currently sixteen, and for as long as I can remember, my parents have been criticizing me. They force me to dress and act more feminine, with threats of privileges being revoked. I am not allowed to get a haircut unless it has been three months since my last, which makes me look rather feminine. I have contemplated suicide on multiple occasions, dating back to when I was twelve. My friends are mostly over the Internet, mainly on one social media website. My girlfriend, whom my parents do not know about, lives six hours away. I have met her in person on three occasions, so I know that she is a real person. She said that if I ever needed a place to go, I could come to her.
    My living situation is getting worse day by day, and the self image I have is so distorted by my parents' verbal attacks that I am honestly thinking about ending it. The only reason that I haven't done it already is because I have acquired a pet cat. She is the only reason that I haven't died yet, and also the main reason why I have not escaped.
    Last year, I was caught texting a friend about running away, and my father have me a harsh speech. He clearly stated "If [I] leave, then [I] must leave naked, and with no bags. [I] can just go." Granted, it was the middle of the night in November.
    Needless to say, I am not the perfect "little girl" that my parents want me to be. I am a young man trying to get through this, but I believe that it has become too much to bear. I am terrified of leaving, yet I am not.
    I need help.

  • #2
    re: I don't think I can take this.

    Hi

    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about what you have been experiencing at home. It sounds like your parents are trying to force a lifestyle upon you that you do not accept. It sounds like you are a strong person. It seems that you have been left to deal with a lot of things on your own. You mentioned that you have a girlfriend who lives 6 hours away. Do you have anyone in your life that you are able to receive support from? It sounds like it can be very difficult to live in a household where you ridiculed and prevented from being yourself. Have you ever spoken to someone at the Trevor Hotline (1-888-843-4564) or the GLBT National Hotline (1-866-488-7386) before? Each hotline is available to provide support to individuals, friends and family members of those who identify with the GLBTQ community. PFLAG (www.pflag.org) is another organization that provides information on local and national supportive services.

    It may be easier for us to provide assistance via our hotline (1-800-786-2929) or Live Chat. Our hotline is available 24/7 and is toll-free, confidential, and anonymous. Our Live Chat is available daily between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST. Since we are non-direct, we cannot tell you what we think you should or shouldn’t do. However we can gather more information, discuss possible options, and provide support.

    We look forward to hearing from you. If you are in need of somewhere to stay, we can assist you with trying to locate the nearest safe place. Remember if you ever feel like your immediate safety is at risk, you can dial 9-11 for assistance.

    Best Wishes
    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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