parents hard to get along with

[Guest]

After reading all of the other posts, I feel as though mine problem isn't as important. My parents aren't physically abusive, and they are usually supportive of my decisions. But over the past 5 years, I've considered running away more and more. There are very few times when we get along, and sometimes it's over little things that are made to seem big. I consistantly feel as though my thoughts and dreams don't count. When we (my parents and I) fight, they go on like nothing happened while I'm still fuming, and that leads to another fight. Last summer, my mom blamed me for all of the issues in the relationship, and she also blamed me for the reason my parent's divorce (they are going to marriage counseling, I found out from my grandma, and they haven't officially said anything about getting divorced). I try to be as good a person and student as I can, but being around such high tension all the time makes it hard. On top of that, my younger brother has been spoiled and tends to bring about more anger, especially from my dad. I have tried to talk to my parents about the issues, but they just blow me off. I have also considered going to my guidance counselor, but I guess I'm just afraid of my parents' reactions. I have tried running away before, but I hadn't planned it and was forced to return home... where I was promptly grounded for quite a few months.

I am a high school sophomore, I just turned 16 a month ago, and I have a regular job. I have considered emancipation, but I'm not sure if that is an option. A few friends have offered to let me stay with them for a night or two, but I don't want to bother them and I'm afraid that I would just make them feel bad for me or I would just be a burden to their families.

[ccsmod7]

Re: parents hard to get along with

Thank you for writing in to the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like your dealing with a pretty difficult situation right now. You mentioned in the beginning feeling like your “problem isn’t as important” as some of the other posts. Just because it might not seem as severe a problem, doesn’t make it any less important. As you said, obviously there are things that are making you feel this way, and even to the point where you are thinking of running away, and have actually tried to. You mentioned that a lot of the anxiety comes from your parents, and that you feel they don’t understand how you have been feeling. It sounds like a frustrating situation, even when you speak with them you mentioned you don’t feel supported in anyway. When you talk with your parent’s what is the biggest issue you bring up with them? What do they usually say when you tell them how you feel? Have you tried talking with them separately or do you usually speak with both of them at the same time?
It sounds like you have talked with friends about this issue and that they have even offered there house to stay in for a few days. Do you think being able to stay with a friend for a few days may help alleviate some of the stress you’re having with your parents? It’s understandable that you may feel like a “burden” but it sounds like your friends are trying to help and be a support for you. Have you thought about what you would do if it were the other way around and your friends were dealing with issues like this? Being there for a friend is often times not a burden, it’s something you want to do because you care about that person. Have you been able to speak with any of your friends recently about how you are feeling? You also mentioned thinking of speaking with a school counselor. Do you think that is something that may help? Perhaps speaking with a counselor would give you a chance to vent your feelings, and perhaps give you different ideas about how to deal with this issue about your parents.
In the end it sounds tough because you have tried to speak with your parents and not much has come of it. But it also sounds like you have other supports in your life that are there to help when you need it. The National Runaway Switchboard is another support that you can call anytime that you need. If you want to talk more about this situation or if you really feel you are at the point of running you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here to listen 24 hours a day. Best of luck with everything and give us a call anytime.