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17 and I want to get out of my house

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  • 17 and I want to get out of my house

    I am 17, and my mom, dad, and my 18 year old sister (who is trying to find a new place to live) is living with me. I am the youngest. Lately my parents think there's somthing wrong with me. I am belived to have ADHD, ODD, Depression and possibly Bi-Polar.i did take medication but I stopped when I was...16 cause they were making me feel sick. They even tried to emit me into the hospital. I am sick of this. All it ever is, "your lazy" "get off our ass" and ect. I am sick of it. My father can be abusive. He has hit me a few times, when I was younger and when I was older, slaps on the head, punches in the arms and ect. I am just a regular Canadian teenager. I worked for a gas station since I was 14 but recently lost the job. I do have a secret bank account that I made so my mom couldn't see how much I had saved up. Cause she's very controlimg with MY money. They think I have a weight problem, and every thing. It's like they want me to be my perfect straight A honour roll sister who has a job and has a great talent. Singing. I just wanna get away, and get my mind together. I have no friends where I live cause I live in a small town and everyone hates me. I have 1 friend who lives a hour away. And my auntie (not blood related) might take me in but she lives a hour away too. No other relitives in my town. There are rooms for rent in my town and I am thinking about getting one of those since they are rather close to my school. Anyways, just kinda hoping for advice...and stuff. I don't have a drivers license not even a learners yet so...yeah. Just wanna get my head straight. Can they call the cops on me for running away? And can I rent a room in Alberta at age 17?

  • #2
    17 and I want to get out of my house

    Hi and thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have a lot going on and you are very strong for reaching out to us. You mentioned that there are a lot of difficult things going on at home for you including problems with your sister and parents, social concerns and your family being concerned about your mental health. One Canadian resource that might be helpful in finding support is Kids Help Phone. They have a website, http://kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/Home.aspx and you can also call them at 1-800-668-6868. They look like a very supportive and holistic resource for teens just like you.

    You also shared that your dad can sometimes be abusive. Have you ever told anyone about how he hurts you? No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home. While we are an American organization, we can tell you that Alberta, too, has resources to keep you safe. If you want to call in and talk with a social worker about how home is an unsafe place, you can call the Child Abuse Hotline at 1 800 387 KIDS (5437).

    It is understandable that you might feel like leaving home is the only option. Because we are not legal experts, we can’t tell you what the laws are in Alberta. One option might be to contact your local police to inquire about laws in your area. Thanks again for reaching out. If there is anything else we can do, we are here from 4:30-11:30pm CST through live chat and 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    Take care,
    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank u

      Thank u for telling me this. I will defiantly contact kids help phone. And no I have not told anyone how my dad hurts me. My mom sees it sometimes though and does nothing. I want to call social services, but am scared of what will happen to me. I also have a question if I contact the police, would they tell parents?

      Comment


      • #4
        re: Thank you

        Thanks so much for following up. We’re sorry to hear that your mom is not doing anything when your dad hurts you. No one deserves to be unsafe in their home and nothing that you do will ever give your dad the right to do that to you. That’s totally understandable that you’d have concerns about what might happen if you call the police. Unfortunately we guarantee what might happen, but sometimes if you call the police through the non-emergency line they won’t be able to trace the call, so they’d have no way of identifying you. One option would be to call from a pay phone and that would be sure to protect your identity and they would not be able to contact your parents. We hope that you find the answers you need and are able to find support as well.

        Take care and stay safe,

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          17 and need to get out

          I'm 17 and my boyfriend is older then me i wondered if i leave home with him can he be punished if we get caught and if we dont get caught what will happen to me when I turn 18? My mom mentally abusives me and make me feel little about myself she is overly dramatic and I'm not the only one that sees it she used to do drugs and kind of still does but she neglected me and trys to buy me things for the lack of attendence she does in my life. My boyfriend wants to help me get out so I want to leave but I dont want him to get into any trouble. I just really want to know if I leave and stay gone by the time I'm 18 could i still go to jail?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: 17 and need to get out

            Thanks so much for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about your situation. It sounds like you are having a tough time at home and you are thinking of leaving with your boyfriend and concerned about any consequences he or you may have. Now we are not lawyers here so we cannot give you any specific legal information but we are certainly happy to talk through the situation with you.

            In most states the age of majority is 18 so if you were to leave home without your parents’ permission they would mostly likely be able to file a runaway report. 17 is a tricky age though and some states and counties deal with things differently. For example we may hear that while the legal age of majority is 18, at 17 the local police no longer take runaway reports or make the youth return home if they leave without permission. Usually the best option to see how the police would deal with a youth at 17 would be to contact the local police in your area. It may be good to ask them specific questions such as…
            *At what age is a youth no longer considered a runaway?
            *If a 17 y/o leaves home without permission, do you still take a runaway report?
            *If yes: what happens if/when that youth is found?
            In regards to your boyfriend there is always a possibility that he may get in trouble because he is an adult at this point but it would probably depend on how police would deal with you at the age of 17. If you did turn 18 in most cases the police would not do much because you would be considered an adult. A runaway report is usually a status offense and is a report taken because someone is a minor so once you become a legal adult there is probably not much the police would do.
            Hopefully some of this information is helpful. Keep in mind that you can always reach out to us if you have any other questions or would like to discuss this situation more in depth. There is always someone available at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). All of our services are completely confidential and anonymous. Please feel free to reach out to us anytime. Take care.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              i’m 16 and from minnesota. my mom treats me like my mental health doesn’t exist and isn’t a problem. i struggle with severe depressive disorder and severe anxiety, ocd, and adhd. she’s always made me be a perfect child or else i would get in trouble. if i got a B i was grounded for months. the o my thing getting me through right now is a my boyfriend and now she is trying to make it so i can’t see or talk to him anymore. she only yells and screams at me. she makes me feel like killing myself a lot. and i’ve already tried. i need to get out of this house. they are fine to my little brother it’s just me. my dad calls me retarded and stupid saying jf i was smart if he able to do my homework without help. my mother lets it happen. she only cares about herself. i’m ready to leave it kill myself. i can’t stay here and i need to get out. please help me. i’m struggling and can’t find an escape. i tried to leave once but my mom said “no for the next year and a half you are my property and i own you” she has threatened to put me in foster care because i wanted to quit my job with her. i’m struggling so much and it’s a daily thing. please help me get out

              Comment


              • ccsmod15
                ccsmod15 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello,

                Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of bravery and courage to reach out to us, and we are happy to listen and offer support. It sounds like there is a lot going on at home and that you feel you aren’t being treated fairly by your parents. No one deserves to have their mental illnesses and feelings minimized. You are not alone.

                We are glad to hear that your boyfriend has been there for you throughout this situation, and we are sorry to hear that your parents are trying to restrict your communication with him. We encourage you to keep tapping into friends and family that you trust to share your feelings with - it is so important to have people to talk to when we are struggling.

                You mentioned a few times that you have been having some thoughts of suicide and have previously attempted suicide. No one deserves to feel like they have no choice but to take their life. Your safety is our number one priority, so we want to encourage you to dial 911 if you ever feel you are in immediate danger of harming yourself. There are also two other hotlines that you may find helpful to contact when you are feeling this way - the first is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Their 24/7 hotline can be reached at 1(800) 273-8255. You can also contact the NAMI Helpline at 1(800) 950-6264, or text “HOME” to 741741 to reach them through text. Both of these hotlines have counselors on the line that can provide you with mental health support if you are experiencing a mental health crisis.

                We would also be happy to continue supporting you in any way we can. If you would like access to more resources that we can offer, such as referrals to mental health professionals, legal aid, case workers, etc., we encourage you to call us at 1(800) 786-2929 (this hotline is open 24/7). You can also chat with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We are always here to listen and support you.

                We wish you the best of luck, and hope you stay safe out there.

                NRS
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