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i wanna run away from home. please help me.

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  • Hey there. I am a 13 year old from India and my story begins when I was only in senior kinder garden, I had bitten (since my biting stage started late) my older brother and got beaten and physically abused so bad for it to the point I started peeing, and they still kept beating me until my brother told them I was saying the truth and to stop it. Later on in life we moved to a new place where my parents avoided to talk with me, they became emotionally abusive and distant and to this day they still are, it feels like I get emotionally raped by their perfectionism obsessive and hurtful words every single day. I literally fight and cry with my family every day, and I just want to quit at this point, I feel like I'm the wrong one here. I've been sexually assaulted by my friend, bullied to the point I started questioning myself, have depression, anxiety and I often feel dumb shamed, personality shamed, looks shamed and slut shamed idk why. My parents, most of the time refuse to check me to the doctor when I get a swollen eye infection or anything. Their distancing has grown so much I'm afraid they've begun to neglect me at this point, one day the end of my belt was hanging lose so my mother suggested to fix it, after much persuasion, using elastic bands in the tower reception, as she pulled up my top (I was wearing a long tee and jeans) the security guard started checking me out and when I addressed it to them they chose to ignore it and blame me instead of protecting me and trusting me, I was 11/12 at the time. My brother has certain dominance issues and I feel like he's the only parental figure in my life, even though he can tend to be aggressive at times he says its for my well being and even though he may call me weak and sensitive he's the only one who pays any attention towards me. My father is barely ever there in the house due to his job and he could almost be considered an outsider in my life if he didn't stay in the house, every time I try to inform him he chooses to believe my mother who explains matters from her perspective and victimizes herself. I have no friends who want to specialize me and often times I feel like I was abducted as a child due to certain memories. Every day this thought haunts me that if it wasn't for their procrastination and neglect, I would've been physically abused terribly. My mom always says that it was her fault she didn't beat me up when I was small. She even once mentioned me as the girl from the streets and someone who never deserved to have a mother etc. They make me feel guilty about my mental health issues and the outcome of it instead of being there for me. I also suffer from terrible mood swings and I'm unable to find the roots of it, I make up stories in my mind to make myself believe that this isn't my life and that it's been stolen from me and for some odd reason I gain pleasure from it. I wanna go to Orlando where my mom, Casey Anthony is living, I know this sounds crazy but you have got to trust me. Idk why she left me but I have memories, each photo of my childhood looks different, they claim most photos have been "deleted", we look really similar, we share the same birthday and even though my parents haven't admitted it and they have given slight remarks about it which in itself is very suspicious. The death WAS a cover up and i know it. My father, a man who I didn't even know well said to me that MY marriage was HIS responsibility. I'm honestly done with all the fake people and just wanna start anew, I don't need a hotline number, they can't change the past or save me. Please help me

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    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like you have really been through a lot and are currently struggling now. We understand how important is it to feel like people believe and understand the trauma you have gone through. Nobody deserves to be sexually abused, bullied or made to feel unsafe in their own home. Although you said you did not want any other numbers, it might not be a bad idea to reach out to professionals who can help you come up with some healthy coping mechanisms.

      RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) 1-800-656-4673 can help you process some of the things that have happened to you over the years. They may also be able to provide more long-term counseling options. https://www.stopbullying.gov/ Is another good resource to address some of the bullying you’ve experienced. It sounds like your parents are not supportive of you in more than one way. If you would like to report the abuse or neglect, you have every right to do so. Child Help at 1-800-422-4435 can take your information and open an investigation. You also said you believe Casey Anthony is your real mom. You can leave an anonymous tip at https://www.crimestoppersusa.org/contact/submit-a-tip/ where someone can look into this matter further.

      We are very glad you have reached out to us today and hope you’ll give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Please stay safe and best of luck.

  • thank you so much, you're the only person who understood or even bothered to help me even though I didn't knew you, you mean a lot to me, Thank you.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone (1-800-786-2929) or chat (1800runaway.org) for immediate services.

      Thank you, NRS

  • I wanna run away from home, from this awful town...
    I'm Annie, I'm 12. Last year I was sexually abused through my school, now I'm homeschooled and I have no one, My grandma has parkinses and lewi body demencha. My mom is always gone and mad. My dad is a asshole. I've had many suicidal thoughts and even attemps, I want to go with my only freind but he hassent. Really talked to me in 4 months. I have my dog and hes my only thing keeping me alive I just want to go live on my own or someone else. I looked up emotionally abussed and I am deffenetly being abused and have no friends. What should I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello Annie,
      Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
      Wow It seems like you have gone through a lot in your life, and we are sorry you have had to go through so much. Sexual abuse is never okay and we are sorry you have had to go through that. If you need someone to talk to about that or need resources a great hotline would be RAINN, they can be reached through their online chat: rain.org or by phone: 1800-656-4673.
      We know that you mentioned suicide and we want you to know we are here for you. Your life is valuable and you are worth living. Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary situation. If you need someone to talk to or are having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273- 8255. There is always someone willing to listen and willing to provide support.
      Any type of abuse is never okay and you do have a right to make a report. You can call Child Help at 1800-422-4453, and they would be able to help you with making a report. You can also call or chat with us and we would be happy to help you make a report. As far as leaving your home we are not legal experts but we do have some information. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • i am having problem with my fatrher

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      We are sorry to hear you're having problems with your father. That must be difficult. We'd like to help out further but need a little more information from you to see how to assist. The best way to do that would be if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Please be safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

  • Hey...
    I have faced a lot of issues since I was a kid.... my parents never liked each other so they were fighting 24x7 and it has really made my childhood an horror as I have seen and Hurd things that I should not and it had really wounded my heart and soul ... now I’m 19 and things have only gotten worst and worst ... my parents run an own business and that made things worst .... they foght more about that ! Family ... business ... they both were always hurt because of their past.... they spend money on me but always made me feel worthless ... they use bad words and say mean things to me when they are stressed and expated of their life ... that hit it’s extreme and I was really not able to concentrate in my university and I dropped out after 2 years.... I don’t sleep at nights because of all the trama inside my head .... I stress eat ... I am in very bad stage of depression .... but they get angry on me for not being normal ... they don’t ask ‘honey what’s disturbing u y are I being like this ?’ But they just bliendly blame me .... they phone psg ally hit me a lot ... taht to my dad... I can never forget the night he tore my dress by dragging me to the floor ... I some times feel like giving up and die .... but there is a little flame of hope in life .... I feel atlest if I leave this place my parents will live their life on their own bacause of me only there are even in the same house and that’s also my fault .... I’m stoping them from living their happy life ... so.... I’m planing to leave this place ... fight life and lead it and find peace some day .... there is a lot untold stories ... but this sums it up..

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

      Living in an environment with constant yelling and fighting is incredibly overwhelming and traumatic. The resulting stress and mental health struggles can make it very difficult to take steps toward being independent. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. Your mental health and well-being is important and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You mentioned coming up with a plan to move out and leave your parents' household. We are here 24/7 to listen and support you in your next steps. We can talk through your options and provide any necessary referrals (counseling, shelter, etc). Please do not hesitate to reach out any time to our hotline by phone 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat services 1800runaway.org.

      Stay strong and good luck,
      NRS
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