I Wanna Run Away But idk

[Buba]

Okauu My Name is Eric and im 16 years old and I Hate Living in my Soo called House. Because my Mom and my new Step Father dont Like me ... But they Tell Me tht they Do and That they Love Me soo Much but i know for a Fact tht they is Lying. My real Father is Not really in my life i Only see him like Once in a blue moon and My mom and my old step father used to fight all the time but once he died she moved on and started drinking more than before. So like when i was around the age of 12 or 13 my Mom started to beat me when ever she would drink and Tell me How she dont Like me and she dont even know why she had me in the first place ... and Tht she should of killed me wen i was in her stomach :[[[ She called Me Gay, Lazy, and All other Names You could Think of .. I Used to Hate to go Home because i didnt want to see my Mom, soo Then i stayed at my Grandma House but tht Only mad things worst because then As i stayed their im thinking tht its gonna be better for me to stay their but i was wrong and I Find out tht my grandma is going behind my bacc to talk ******** about me to my mom saying tht she dont want me in her house and she tried of me being their not doing anything. Soo Recently i Had 2 Bad Dream and i Almost Killed myself twice. In one of my dreams i was dead and everybody in my house and all of my family and some of my friends was happy tht i died and they just moved on with their lives. then in the other dream i was in my room standing next to the window and i saw somebody on my bed under my cover standing up and Then they shooked their head yes without making a sound and i walked closer to the window and killed my self

I Cry everyNight in the bathtub and i Cut myself to see if it would Make things better But it dont i Still Live in this NightMare and i just want to Die so i cant be everybody main topic to ******** about.. I Used to Pray sometimes at night to god and I Used to asked him why do you Put me this and Why cant i Have a Family tht Not gonna beat/Talk ******** about wenever they feel like it and Somebody tht will Love me for who i am. I wanna go to a Group Home or Forest care but i need help finding one

[ccsmod10]

RE: I wanna run away but idk

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like you have a lot going on. First of all, you do have the right to feel safe in your own home. We are sorry to hear that you are being abused, nobody deserves to be beaten or made to feel worthless. Have you ever considered contacting the police or child protective services? Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are mandated reporters. This means that if you wanted to call us and give us identifying information such as names, addresses and when the abuse took place, we would help you make a report with local law enforcement.

You mentioned that you’ve been having some bad dreams lately. Do you have anyone you could talk to about how stressed you have been lately? If you are still in school you may want to consider talking to a teacher or counselor about what is going on at home. Sometimes it can be helpful to reach out to a friend or trusted adult about your situation.
You also mentioned that you have been cutting. If you are thinking about hurting yourself or committing suicide, the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) is always available for you. Do you have any healthy ways to cope with your stress at home? You have a right to feel loved and wanted and cared for.

We would be more than happy to talk to you some more about what is going on. If you’d like, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are toll-free, confidential and anonymous. If you do not want to report the abuse at home you do not have to, we are on your side and want to see you somewhere safe and happy. We can help you find some alternative schools or places to live. Please call us or reach out to us online at www.1800runaway.org open from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

-NRS