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18 and leaving home

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  • 18 and leaving home

    I am 18 and will be leaving home on a few days for good to get away from my over protective parents. I'm in college and they don't let me do anything. Can't go out with friends unless they are the few friends my parents like and have picked out and even then I can't be out past 8:30 or for more than 3 hours, if I'm 2 seconds late they call and see where I am, if I don't pick up the phone they lose it, can't text anyone or talk to anyone after 9:00, if I don't watch something they want me to watch I'm rude and get yelled at, and well the list just goes on and on. Thing is they have done a lot for me too so I feel really guilty about leaving. But I know my future if I don't go. I need some help feeling better. Please?

  • #2
    18 and leaving home

    Hi,

    Thanks for posting.

    It sounds like you have a lot of stress from this situation with your parents.
    We understand how frustrating you must feel from them being as you say over protective.
    Has there been anything going on in the past few months or so that may have triggered this reaction?
    Communication can often be a reason for things to breakdown; sometimes people are too close to even recognize what each individual may be doing to contribute to the situation at hand.
    Think about how you and your parents talk to one another or interact with one another.
    What needs to change from your viewpoint in order for you all to get along better?

    You said your parents liked some of your friends (that they picked out)) but frown on others.
    You have a early curfew for being out and using your cell phone, they feel it’s rude of you to not spend time with them but you do say they have also have done a lot for you.
    You want to leave but have some guilt feelings about doing so.
    Is that right?

    If you do decide to leave home there is the matter of how you will survive and also discontinuing your education. Do you have a plan to make it on your own once you leave?
    Sometimes it helps to have some mediation in resolving these types of communication problems.
    Family counseling could be an option to look into in helping improve communication between you and your parents.

    You are welcome to call our 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) 24hr crisis line and discuss your options with one of our liners. NRS has a national data base that lets us search for referrals in your area.

    We are sorry you are having a rough time at home it must be very difficult for you but we hoped it helped expressing your feelings on our bulletin board.
    We hope that you and your parents will find a way to work things out and you begin to feel better about your situation.

    Thank you again for posting and good luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      18 and Being Forced to Move Out

      I recently turned 18 years old, and I'm in a situation where I may have to move out. I have anxiety and depression that make it nearly impossible to attend college, as the environment causes me unbelievable stress. I was extremely successful in high school, graduating 2nd in my class and receiving a good scholarship to the school I'm attending. I barely made it through emotionally in high school, and now that my problems are worsening, I'm unsure of where to go from here. I feel as though I have to drop out of college, or at least take time off until I have money saved and I'm more emotionally stable. My parents, though, are giving me an ultimatum --- go to school and stay home, or move out. Home is a very difficult place to stay for my 19 year old sister and I, to say the least. My parents are very conditional in regards to their emotions toward us, to quote my mom "If you don't go to college, we will have no relationship." I do want to continue in college, but at my current emotional state I can hardly get out of bed in the morning. I currently receive counseling but after about 9 months it hasn't made enough of a change to affect my daily emotional state. My parents have kicked me out in the past for not going along with their plans or advice for me, and it seems like they're more serious than ever. I recently got major surgery on my foot, so although I'm technically employed at McDonald's, I haven't been able to work in a month and a half. I should be recovered enough to work in a few weeks, but until then if my sister and I moved out, the only income my sister and I would have is her salary working as a cashier at Wegman's. She still does attend college. Even with our incomes combined, it wouldn't be enough for us to support ourselves. Overall, I'm looking for help to be linked to a program that could give my sister and I living assistance. Any help would be much appreciated.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 18 and Being Forced to Move Out

        Hello,
        Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re going through very rough situation and we’ll try and help out as best as we can.

        It sounds like you’ve made the decision to move out and support yourself if you can get some sort of assistance. Since we’re not sure of your city/state, it might be best to get ahold of Human Services in your county or find information online about Housing and Urban Development (HUD). That is an entity that helps people find subsidized housing and possibly financial assistance with utilities and rent. Here is the online resource and just click around for your city/state details:

        http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/states

        If you find that there aren’t and resources for you that will help with rent, do you have any back up plans like friends or family members that you can stay with? Possibly until you can figure something out and can get stable.

        If you’d like to explore other options that might be available to you and talk more in depth about your situation, please call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re anonymous, confidential and available 24/7. We’re here to listen, here to help.

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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