I don`t know what to do anymore?!

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Re: I don't know what to do anymore?!

Hello there,

It sounds like you are going through an awful lot and we’re glad you decided to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear you have been bullied so much. No one deserves to be treated so poorly and we’re sorry your self-esteem and confidence are a zero. One resource that might be helpful is http://www.stopbullying.gov/. They offer a lot of information and how to get help with bullying. You also mentioned you have thought about committing suicide which sounds very serious. We of course here to provide your with support and help you come up with a safe plan; however, there is also the National Suicide Prevention Line. http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Like us, they have a Live Chat too if that is more convenient to you.

There is another online support network that you might find helpful is “To Write Love on Her Arms,” http://www.twloha.org/. They cover a lot of the issues you have mentioned including cutting. We also encourage you to try contacting us directly either by chatting from 4:30 to 11:30pm CST at www.1800runaway.org or 24/7 by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Hopefully that helps and we wish you the best of luck!

-NRS

I really don`t know what to do anymore. I`m sick and tired, ever since grade five I was bullied with people calling me fat, weird, stupid and other names. One girl destroyed me completely when bulling me she abused me sometimes and started nasty rumors. I was a loner because of that for 3 years Withough any friends because they thought I was a complete failure. I had restless nights and all the kids who bullied me tormented me in my dreams. I have thought about committing suicide several times because I fell depressed every day and unwanted in life. I`m now in grade nine but have kept all these feelings inside. I`ve went to groups but they don`t work. I fight and disobey my parents a lot and hide my grades from them. I use to have all a`s but now have dropped to d' s and c`s because it feels like there`s another person saying that I'll always fail at everything. Usually I can`t eat lunch and starve myself till dinner. It's gotten worse this year since my dad lost his job and have though more and more of suicide. To this day I feel stupid, unwanted, unintelligent and that I will never accomplish anything in life. I have though again and again to run away from home because I want to escape my problems and think that everyone would be better off Withough a worthless girl. I can`t trust anyone not even myself because of all the trust that I never had in school. My self esteem and confidence are a zero and I feel like I'm climbing up a hill made of gravel; at some points I'll go up, and then the rock will break loose and I'll slide down even further each time. Now I feel like an empty shell , and I keep myself locked up inside my room, so that I can be alone and cry. Sometimes I cut myself, I'm thinking about running away to get free from this mess; it seems like the only answer out of this predicament now.