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I want to run away.. help me..

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  • I want to run away.. help me..

    Hey, so I live in a very hectic small home with my siblings and mother. They treat me like crap. I hate it here. I don't mean to sound dramatic but I honestly do want to run away from my home. I would rather go anywhere but stay in this hell hole. I get teased a lot. I weigh 107 and I'm in 8th grade and I'm always getting called fat. I'm always being put under my sisters shadow. She's the "perfect " little angel when in reality, she disgusts me. I hate my school life as well. I have a few "friends" who only know I exist when they need something. I've been self harming since I was 12 ish. I'm 14 now. It's only been 2 years but a lot has changed in that time. I want to leave. I have nothing. The tiny bit of hope I get is through music. Listening to music such as Black Veil Brides, Pierce The Veil, BlessTheFall, Falling In Reverse, and Sleeping With Sirens has helped me through so much. My family don't get that. Their very religious and want me to be too, but I can't pretend to be something I'm not. I don't hate the imagery of God, I just simply don't believe in it and if they knew that they'd kill me. I have my guitar which I cherish with all my heart. One day I aspire to make music that means the world to some broken kid and perform in front of many pretty people. I want to run away. I need to run away. But I don't know where to go. Help me be free...?

  • #2
    RE: I want to run away...help me...

    Hi,
    Thanks for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are really upset about what’s going on in your life right now. It can be really difficult to be in a home and a school where you don’t feel valued or understood. You definitely don’t deserve to be teased and made to feel that way. Reaching out to us for some support is a great step in figuring out some solutions.
    You mentioned that you have been self harming since you were 12. Does anyone else know that you have been? We all cope and take care of ourselve in a lot of different ways, so it can be important to have someone double check to make sure we’re coping in safe ways. If you want to talk through it with some people, the National Suicide Hotline can be a great resource for people who do some self harm. You can contact them at 1-800-273-8255.
    Telling your family that you are not religious can be really scary. It sounds like you don’t feel safe at home. Is there a place you go where you do feel safe? Having a safe place to go can be really important when dealing with some much at your house.
    It seems like you’ve been really overwhelmed for the last couple years and it sounds like you’ve found music as a way to cope with some of the stuff that’s been going on. It seems like music is really an inspiration to you and something that gives you strength. That’s a pretty rare thing to have in life. It’s great that you have it!
    Although we would love to be able to give you a direct answer as to how to fix things, we cannot do that. However, we would really like to be able to help you come up with some answers, possible solutions, or resources. If you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we would very much like to talk with you about what is happening and help you in any way we can. We are always here, 24/7. You can also reach us through chat on our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4:30pm-11:30pm (Central Standard Time).
    We hope to hear from you soon and good luck,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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