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  • Drunken dad and more problems

    When I was little my little brother passed awy. My dad was a drinker before that but it got worst after that. I get that he deals with t that way but it has tore me apart

    My dad has beat my mom and me. He has broken her finger and almost her nose. He almost broke my arm once to. He has called us every name in the book that's out there.

    I've told my mom how I feel about him and talked to her and try and say she needs to get rid of him.

    She once said she was going to but then went back to giving the beats a blind eye and saying "but I love him." Help?

    When he called me a Fat B I started cutting and now everytime he yells I get the urge to cut. I don't know how to stop. Help?

    I have always been a bad speller and when my mom and I would patice he would yell at me to spell them again agian. I always ended up crying and hed just yell more.

    I have thought about calling the cops on him over the beats but thought my mom would stand up for him and when he got out what would happens when he gets out...will it just be worst?

    Writing as helped me cope some but I think I have depression now and I'm stressed way to much. I don't even want to do my homework anymore.

    I have told my tald I was going to runaway he points to the door and says "There's the door." I walk out sometimes if I can get past my mom. Sometimes barefooted and I just walk. My mom follows me.

    My family has told my mom to get rid of him and so have I. I love my mom to death but hate my father.

    I also feel like if I run away my mom will care a lot and send out cops and sreach parties... I don't want that because when I get home it will be worst.

    I saw your ad on TV and thought I would call but I cant with out mom and dad maybe catching me.

    Please help me.

  • #2
    RE: Drunken dad and more problems

    Thank you for reaching out to us through the NRS Bulletin Boards. You have been through an awful lot in your life and we extend our sincere sympathy for the loss of your brother.

    You do not deserve to be mistreated physically or emotionally by your father. You sound like a very brave person and it is admirable that you’ve been able to talk to your mother about leaving your father. It sounds like she wants to leave but is torn because she says she still loves him. It sounds like she loves you very much too and this makes it much harder on you because it seems like you are stuck in the middle. You seem like a very caring person and you love your mom a lot. She is lucky to have you in her life.

    It is understandable that your father’s physical and emotional violence has greatly affected you. In particular you mention you started cutting when he called you a Fat B and now you feel the urge to cut when he yells at you. Cutting and other types of self-injury can sometimes be ways for people to cope with the tremendous pain and discomfort they are dealing with in life and you certainly have a lot of that. There are resources for people that engage in cutting. Here is an article from our website that may be of interest: http://www.1800runaway.org/learn/pub...february_2010/. Another outside website is http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind..._cutting.html#. You may find some useful information there.

    You ask a lot of very good, and important, questions here. You wonder what will happen if you call the police? As you’ve indicated it is hard to know for sure and it is not an easy decision to make. You also talk about being depressed and about running away. All these thoughts and feelings are understandable given the horrible situation you are in. You deserve to feel safe and happy, but right now you are living with a tremendous burden that you should never have to endure. Please know there are people out there that care about you and want to help.

    Have you thought about talking to a school counselor or another trusted adult such as a teacher or pastor? You are always welcome to reach out to us 24/7 via phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929), email at [email protected], and our chat service daily from 4:30 pm – 11:30 pm CST by visiting 1800RUNAWAY.org and clicking on the “Get Help Live Chat” red button in the upper right corner of the screen. We can provide support and also additional resources which may help you get through the troubles with your father.

    Thank you for having the courage to reach out to us at NRS Bulletin Boards. Please feel free to call, email, or “chat” us if you need additional support. You are not alone. We are here for you.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      But you see...

      I get that people are here to help. My two best friends and ex are the only three that know I cut and about my dad. I text my best always right after I cut and she does her best to cheer to me. My ex talks to me because he use to cut so he tries to give me ideas to help me deal with it.

      I love school and use to have A's and B's but now their C's and D's. My friends that I talk to at school are my family. School is my escape from here. I can't get yelled at by him their.

      I have thought about talking to the people at school but as soon as thy hear about self harm or whats going on they call home. If its self harm they send you away to like the lock up hospital. I don't want to be locked up.

      I have thought about running away but now its snowing here and I wouldn't have anywhere to go and my mom WOULD call the cops.

      I just want to get away from my dad before it gets worst yet I don't want to leave my mom because then I feel like he'll be worst to her.

      I watched a show over beats and they said "stop it before the bullet" and it worries me because he does have guns.

      I haven't been able to sleep before from nightmare of him killing us then himself.

      Sorry if I am repeating myself some :I I just really don't know what to do.

      Comment


      • #4
        re: Drunken dad and more problems

        Thanks for getting back to us. Sounds like you have solid support from friends and it’s good to hear that they’re there unconditionally.

        When reading your message, it seems like your main priority is to get away from home and more specifically from your dad. Is that correct? Is there a place that you think you’d be allowed to go without any opposition from your parents? If so, could you stay there long? Possibly with a family or friend.

        And it’s gotta be frustrating to not be able to talk about your self-injury/cutting without people having to react so quickly. Have you ever considered speaking to someone outside of school (counselor/therapist) and maybe setting ground rules that let you talk about anything without having people react? There are therapist out there like that.

        You ended your message with the idea of not knowing what to do…if you could have an ideal situation where you and your loved ones could be safe and happy, what would that look like?

        We’re here 24/7 and can continue this conversation over email or phone. Please stay in communication and we’ll try and find your some options depending on what you’re looking for.

        Best of luck.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Stuck

          I have asked my mom about maybe living with a friend or family member she said she would let me but doesn't know what we would tell my dad.

          We also don't know where I would go. MY friend have joked before about me living with them but never for real.

          My mom has looked in to people outside of school but they want so much money that our insernce will not pay one cent to.

          My mom and dad have a lot of fights over money... She asks him to stay away from the bars he says he will sometimes (but he doesn't) other times he goes "Well I work to jobs" He has his normal job then he helps people flip houses For few 500$ here and there.

          Yet my mom gets up at 4 AM so she can do what she wants before I get up then goes to work and comes home to a dirty ash tray and beer cans plus more in the house and cleans it up. Then she runs around town from store to store.

          I want to get myself and my mom away from him but she wont leave and I'm scared to leave because if I'm fund it will just be worst and even if im not it will be worst on her all ready losing one kid when I'm all they got left.

          I understand why they act and seem to care and protect me so much but sometimes I still feel like a little kid.

          I also really wanna finish school and if I runaway I wouldn't be able to do that with all the cops their.

          I have written put a list of what I would take and how I would burn my laptop and phone so they had no clues where I'm going and then rop them both in water.

          I have a plan just no guts to use it because of where I live its snowing and cold right now. I would die outside.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Stuck

            Hi

            It sounds like you have thought about the details of leaving quite a bit. Regardless of what you decide we're here to support you in any way we can whether its a listening ear or finding you shelter.

            If you’d like to discuss the situaton further please give us a call at our confidential hotline 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or you can live chat with us any day from 4:30-11:30pm central time.

            Best of luck,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              can i email you

              Is there a way i can email you or the same person all the time to have someone to talk to because i cant call without my mom o dad findind out...

              Comment


              • #8
                re: can i email you

                Hello and thanks for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are glad that you are reaching out to us and hope that we can be supportive to you. Have you ever talked to anyone else about what you are going through? You can absolutely contact us via email. Our email address is [email protected]. While we hope you feel comfortable contacting us that way, we are not counselors and thus cannot have ongoing conversation via email. If you’d like more in depth conversation, you can contact us via live chat from 4:30-11:30 pm CST or at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours a day/7 days a week. We can offer you immediate support and help connect you to some resources in your area. Thanks again for reaching out, we hope to hear from you soon.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Foget it then

                  No there's no one else I can talk to with out them sending me away to the hospitals. I don't wanna be in lock up but thanks for the help anyway I guess. I need someone I can talk to when I need to. Sorry for brothering you. Yes I know there's people out there that wont send me off but cost millions of dollars that we do not have because my dad drinks and smoke but oh well

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    re: Forget it then

                    It sounds like you really are looking for someone to talk to and we are certainly here for you. If you want to call us, we can help connect you with a counselor or social worker in your area that can be a support system to you. What you are going through must not be easy and we want you to know that you are not alone. Please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24 hours a day and would like to do anything we can to assist you in getting the help you need. Best wishes.
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I ccant call

                      I cant call with out my mom knowing. I don't want my mom to know I want to leave and that I feel this way. My mom nor dad can know. They'll just send me off to

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        re: I ccant call

                        We're sorry to hear that If you are able to chat with us, we are able to talk with you through our website chat at 1800runaway.org. We're here from 4:30-11:30pm Central Standard Time and hope to hear from you.
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment

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