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im 19, attending college, difficulty with mother when im back during break

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  • im 19, attending college, difficulty with mother when im back during break

    ive been going through a lot of problems with my mom not just now but since my junior year in high school, i am currently a college freshman. she thinks all of my boyfriends are trash and that theyre disrespecting me. ive been dating my current boyfriend for 4 months, we are both 19, and she found out some stuff she shouldnt have while im home on christmas break. we havent spoken in a week, i was only here for 3 days before that, and i sometimes talk to my dad a little bit but he doesnt help at all. my boyfriend said i can come live with him and his parents until i start school again in january. i told my dad i want to leave in 4 days so i can spend new years eve with him and that i cant handle the pressure and the unhappiness here. i have been miserable and felt unloved since ive been "home" and i just want to runaway and live with my boyfriend in his home. his parents love me, understand me, and are ok with me staying over. my dad said i couldnt because of personal reasons which they are over-exaggerating too. he says if i runaway to live with my boyfriend, he will come up and get me and take me out of school and will stop paying for everything. my boyfriend said i can try to qualify for student loans at college so he'll back off. i feel like i cant live in my own house anymore and i wish they would kick me out already. im old enough to handle things on my own and its not like i live under their roof 24/7 anymore. this is only my second time home since i moved to college that is 7 hours away in august. both times ive had trouble with my mom. my dad says im breaking their hearts but they arent showing that to me at all. they dont understand that i truly love my boyfriend and that he really does respect and take care of me. they have only met him once and it was very awkward because i was the only one talking the whole time. my mom had already made up her mind about what she thought of him. please help, i am close to still defying my parents and making the drive to live with my boyfriend and family in a few days.

  • #2
    im 19, attending college, difficulty with mother when im back during break

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard through our bulletin board. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and we’re glad that you reached out to us. From what you mentioned in your post, it seems like you are really struggling to get along with your parents while you are home on break. It can be difficult to transition from living with them full time to only part time and sometimes parents struggle with the changes. You seem very independent and to really care about your boyfriend. Have you tried talking with your parents about how you are feeling unloved? Sometimes it can help to be very honest about how you are feeling and how much it is making you want to leave.

    It’s great that your boyfriend and his family support you. Have you considered talking to anyone else about this? It might be helpful to have a neutral party to help you sort through your thoughts and feelings. We are here at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours a day if you want to talk through some of your options. You can also contact us through live chat at 1800runaway.org from 4:30-11:30 pm (CST). What you are going through is not easy and we want to encourage you to contact us so we can help you find the support that you need.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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    • #3
      somewhat new sitution

      yes i have told my dad about feeling unloved. he came to me to talk about it and the next day my mom tried buttering me up and bribing me by, texting me telling and asking me things while i stayed in bed watching movies all day, buying my favorite smoothie, cooking my favorite dinner etc... i didnt want her tactics to work but i think they did at the time because thats how she showes me she loves me.

      now i have asked my dad if i can leave in a few days becuase its the last week of break and i still want to see my boyfriend and his family really badly. the reason behind this is because he is on academic probation, please dont think hes a bad student becuase hes not, and we dont know if he will be able to return to college next semester. i will still be able to see him on the weekends but not everyday almost 24/7 like we used to.

      this morning my boyfriend texted me saying that my mom facebook messaged his mom saying that if i come up next week i will still be cut off from my car, phone, meds and tuition. i know that is a threat and im tired that that is thier only excuse to use against me. what makes me mad is that i have to find out things my mom is thinking through my boyfriend because my mom will message or even call his mom without my knowledge or permission.

      i want to make them understand how i feel about these things but im afraid they will try to tell me how bad of an influence he is on me, how hes not good for me etc... when theyve only met him once and didnt even give him a chance. also im afraid that they will yell or threaten me more. ive always wanted to talk back to my parents and help them understand how i feel but im afraid they wont allow it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Somewhat new situation

        Thanks for reaching out and updating us about the situation. It sounds like you are still very conflicted about how to deal with your parents. In most states, at 19, you are considered an adult and have the right to make whatever decision you would like. It also sounds like that decision is not so easy because your family would completely cut you off and that’s an issue as well. You mentioned that you have tried to talk with your parents but don’t feel you have really been able to open up and tell them how much they are hurting you. Do you feel there is another way to get your thoughts out to them such as writing a letter? It’s difficult because there is no easy answer to this situation and we are sorry you have to go through this.

        Please remember that you can always reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to talk with someone more in depth about the situation. There is always someone available to provide support and walk through options. Please feel free to call or use or online chat (available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST). Take care.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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