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i just want to run away and never come back!

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Why are people so selfish? Why are people so mean? It's like they can't even try to have sympathy for someone who has been through so much. No one ACTUALLY cares about you. People are so fake and selfish. They always want praise and are not genuine. I dont understand why God put me on this earth. I was molested by 4 different men from the age of 4 to 7. My parents were always so ignorant to so many things happening in my life. I have had many miscarriages. Not being able to even have children makes me feel more like a piece of crap. It's like honestly, why am I here?? To get molested? To have parents who never understood you and never helped you with your life? To get my Hope's up of being a mom and then have miscarriages? WHY AM I HERE??.....

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  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: All my life I been treated like a puppe...

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You show some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS
    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    All my life I been treated like a puppe... and it’s sad because she says she do a lot for me when she really. Doesn’t... I’m nothing in this world. I just want to be happy. She will only see me as one thing and that’s it. I just wanna show her that I’m an adult now and I’m not a kid anymore and you can’t control my life. My life is my life to live not yours. But she won’t let me live it for some reason... I just wanna make myself happy for one I wanna put my feelings first and not everyone’s else before me..... I just wanna be happy and figure life out my self without always having to be a remote controller being controlled

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey thank you for reaching out to us, it means a lot to us that you are willing to look for help with this and it seems like you are going through so, so much. It seems like you have a lot of bad things going on and they just keep coming at you instead of stopping, so it’s understandable to be frustrated with how life is treating you. You seem to have a few things happening at once so to summarize you have been raped, suffer verbal abuse at school from peers, your dad whom you care for is not consistently in your life, and you are self-harming and considering ending your life. Frankly any single one of these is incredibly difficult to deal with on their own, and yet you have been dealing with all of them at once. We want you to know that yes we do care about you and your situation. Your situation is honestly heartbreaking and we hope that we can help you through this.

    First off if you are considering suicide, or you feel like these thoughts are escalating please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They specialize in helping those who have similar thoughts to what you have written to us. Which again is so brave of you to reach out for this help. There is also a community for helping with self-harm called ‘To Write Love On Her Arms’, it is online at twloha.com. They aren’t a hotline like the Suicide Prevention Lifeline but is more community focused on connecting you with others who have been through some of what you have. Sometimes just having someone who can understand even a part of your feelings can be a release.

    Next we will address how we could help you with dealing with rape. It is so awful that you have experienced this. Like you mentioned that you couldn’t wish it upon anyone, and we wish it didn’t happen at all. It seems like this may have been someone close to you which is even harder having to be constantly reminded of it. We do know of some people who can help deal with these emotions, they are also hotlines. One is the Rape Abuse Incest National Network (or RAINN for short) at 1-800-656-4673 or at rainn.org. The other is Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or childhelp.org. Both of them specialize in abuse and might provide you with some help getting rid of that devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear.

    Last is it seems like you are having trouble with self-esteem and interacting with peers/friends. You mentioned that your mom has said nobody is perfect and yet it seems like others aren’t going through any of the problems that keep happening to you and they seem like there are no problems in the world they have to deal with or can’t deal with. That’s only what it seems like though. If you look closely enough at anyone that “perfection” will break down and you will see their problems. Yes for some their problems won’t be anywhere near the scale of your own, but by overcoming the problems you have now that will make you stronger than any of the rest of them. Perfection is something we work toward, but not something we can achieve. Just like how you may not ever get rid of your bad thoughts but you can get better and better at ignoring them, allowing those good thoughts to show through more. Also high school can be so hard, especially regarding friends or bullies, some of which can be both at the same time. Words do hurt, and feeling isolated while seeing others form their own groups is terrible. You can’t control what others are going to say about you, but you can control your reaction to what is happening. In order to grow you may need to embrace new or old friends, have you considered trying to switch schools? This may provide you a new start to build new relationships and get out of bad ones.

    You are so brave for having reached out and admitted what your life has been so far to us. It seems like you have so much going on that counseling would be a benefit to you. We have resources for that but would need to know your city and state. In addition if you just need someone to talk to, who won’t be judgmental and cares about you, we are available 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. Hopefully this reply can help you out, because we really do care and we want you to feel safe at home and in your own skin. You don’t deserve what you have been through and we hope this can be a step in a positive direction for you.

    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I want to runaway better yet i want to end my life i do not want to be on this earth anymore it always seems like nobody loves me or i am never going to fit in and nobody will never be my friend , to be honest i dont care if i have friends but to not and to have them talking about me it hurts alot, they say words dont mean and thing or that they could never hurt you but i think otherwise everyone is different everyone has different feelings, I am tired of harming myslef but its is like i cant stop even when i am really trying there is always a voice telling me your not good enough your never going to be someone or never going nowhere in life , i know its the devil talking to me but its like i hear him the most , isnt supposed to be the opposite arent i supposed to hear the good voice the voice who is positive ? why can i be perfect? my mom says nobody is perfect but it seems untrue i see people everyday who seem really perfect why cant that person be me? WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? i can never keep a boyfriend when i think i am doing right i am not why cant i be perfect? i remember a time where i almost lost the most important person in my life my mother, my heart was broken that really pulled me down as soon as i was almost up yes this happend more than once can you imagine what was going through my head .. i still replay the bad thoughts in my head today . i really want them to stop but they never do , I am honestly tired of my dad coming and going out of my life i want him to stay he makes me happy , i wish i could visit him in prison i guess thats just how the world goes , life really is unfair and i cant control it even thought i really wish i could , high school is hard kids are mean or should i say girls one minute there my friend next there my enemy i dont know who really loves me and is going to be here for me alot of people say im playing (victim) but they really dont know what i have been through but thats not the half of it i wish i could go back to the night where in my head i was screaming stop, no, ! i wouldnt wish rape on anyone and i wouldve never thought it would happen to me yeah in the black family my moms says no telling the police even though it happend i was confused at first i still am it hurts me to see the person who raped me i see them everyday oh yeah what about my family member the cousin i always loved tried to touch me as a child i swear i have been through alot and i knew it was time for me to just give up when i scared 15 slices on my forearm i had ENOUGH i dont trust anyone i dont talk to anyone about this i cant , i would break down before i could tell anyone how my life has been , its hard for a person like me to keep friends keep family and stay happy i try it seems impossible . you probaly dont care about this , i just wanted you to know my story , im running away .

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  • ccsmod6
    replied
    re: i just want to run away and never come back!

    Hi:

    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are sorry to hear the way things are going at home with your parents. It seems like you are tired of the argument s and being hit by your mother. It sounds like you would prefer to move as soon as you can to avoid that and create a better life for yourself. Since we do not have a legal background, it is hard for us to answer if you can legally move out of the house at 17 in the state of Texas. Laws also vary by state. In most states, the age of majority is 18 (legally an adult) and some allow for you to move out legally at 17 but that varies. It may be helpful to contact your local nonemergency police hotline to try and get that question answered. In addition to contacting your local police, legal aid organizations may be able to answer that question.

    We hope the information provided helps. If you need to contact us again, feel free to do so. We are available 24/7 and our hotline is toll-free and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    ~NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest started a topic i just want to run away and never come back!

    i just want to run away and never come back!

    Well where to start, my parents recently got into problems last friday, the ended everything and my parents are no longer together, my mom and are constantly arguing because the same day her and my dad broke up and left each other she tried to bring another guy around instead of focusing on us (meaning me my sisters and my brother) she doesn't have a job. besides the fact me and my mom got into it nasty and she hit me i called the cops and they said took her side and said she was "disciplining me" when she punched me in my face...... And wants me to make my quit my job i am 16 years old about to turn 17 in a month in a half from now, my question is. can i move out of my house when i turn 17, i'm so desperate to move out you guys don't understand how my mom is she's never cared about me. And Always has put a guy before me, I'm so tried of it i wanna move on with my life and be some one in life and i cannot continue the negatively i just want to be happy and clearly I'm not me and my mom argue everyday and she hits me, i just want to know can i move out at 17 in the state of Texas?
    i am really considering running away. I hate the way i feel. And my other question is can my mom make me actually quit my job right now? Please don't tell me it'll be best for me to just get along with my mom or just too talk to a relative cause no on understands me...... I just need help, please. I want to run away.
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