Where do I go? I feel alone..

[Unregistered]

Hi NRS,

I'm a 14 year old, 9th grade girl having trouble coping with life at home and at school. First of all, my parents don't understand that I have severe anxiety, AD/HD, and bipolar disorder. I try talking to them about it, but they brush it aside as if it's something I can fix with a wave of my hand. They tell me there are no excuses, but I try my absolute hardest all the time. I guess it's not enough for them. This is the same with my teachers. I try discussing my weaknesses and learning disorders, but they expect nothing less than perfect. I am far from perfect, and I feel so different from everyone else.

I recently found out news about my dad that deeply affected me. It's that he smokes marijuana. I don't know what to make of it. I've always looked up to him, and now I can't help but see him differently, which makes me feel overwhelmingly guilty. Also, I am a talented singer, and I have the confidence to say that I am. My parents, however, feel that I should work to be something else, because "you don't get paid a lot in the singing career". What if I don't want to do it for money? What if I want to sing because I love to sing? I need to be able to flourish because I have big dreams and I'm going nowhere in the small town I was raised in. I have to leave. I have two questions. Do you think I should leave? If I leave, where do I go?

Thank you!
~A Different Gal

[ccsmod3]

Re: Where do I go? I feel alone...

Hello there,

We’re glad you decided to reach out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on and are trying to plan out your dreams in addition to coping with anxiety, ADHD, and Bipolar Disorder as well as your father’s marijuana usage. It sounds like you are very passionate about singing which is great! You mention how you feel like you aren’t perfect enough for your parents and that you feel different from everyone else. We cannot tell you what to do or whether you should leave. However, we are here to provide support and discuss pros and cons as well as safety.

You ask a few questions including where you would go if you left. If you are trying to go about things the legal way, there are typically only a few options for minors. Also, at 14 you are probably going to be limited in terms of the types of employment available to you. We are not legal experts, but the U.S. Department of Labor does restrict how often 14 year-olds can work. Runaway and homeless youth shelters can sometimes provide a short-term solution. We do not know your city/state, but you can visit here: www.nationalsafeplace.org to see if there is a safe place shelter nearby. They also offer a text for help option.

It sounds like you are having a hard time dealing with your dad, so another resource that might be helpful is Al-anon/Alateen. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ They are a support network for family members and teens affected by a family member’s substance abuse/ alcohol use. We also encourage you to contact us directly either by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or Live Chat with us (red button at www.1800runaway.org) from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST.

Hope that helps a bit and best of luck!

-NRS