Traumatized Dad

[Unregistered]

Well to start all this off Im 17 & I Sometimes have thoughts of suicide. I know its wrong & im pretty sure i won't do that, but i have cut myself over 50 times on my left arm & ankle. Why ? because of my dad. He tells me that im a bad person & he verbally abuses me all the time. I Remember the times he beat me, although, sometimes he deny's it & says "it was for a good reason" When he beat me only because i forget to get some papers signed for school. Next thing i knew i had bruises on both of my thighs. The other day he got mad because I went to a Birthday party with my sister & a frend & wen we got home he said i looke like a prostitute. It was hot that day & i wore some shorts & One of those shirts that hang over your shoulder. That day I Told Him I was going to suicide myself. I Only said it out of anger because he kept telling me these ridiculous things like if i shave it tells guys that im ready to have sex & that pissed me off Because im not like that & becasue i had my nails painted. Basically everything a teenage girl does normally, he thinks is wrong. I Cant Stand living under the same roof. Ill be 18 next year & Im Hoping he'll understand. I Pray to god hoping everything will be fine. But i need help because he thinks there nothing wrong with him & i know there is. Hes a veteran & i respect that & he suffered alot in his childhood & his family is all screwed up they all hate eachother. & i feel like hes doing the same thing with his own family without even knowing. Today he got pissed because i wasnt sweeping right so he made me do 20 push-ups ( guys way) & i culdnt do all of them right & then he called me fat. I Weigh 110 lbs. I Know im not. I Play soccer & Exercise every once in a while. I Need Help Please & For My Dad ! I Have no other choice im not sure where to get help for my dad & the rest of the family. Mostly him. Please Help ?

[ccsmod0]

Re: Traumatized Dad

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are going through a tough time and we are here to help. We can also be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we are always anonymous, confidential, and open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

It sounds like there are a lot of issues going on in the family that are affecting you in a negative way. You mentioned that your dad hurts you, and then justifies his behavior or denies that it even happened. Regardless of what is said after an interaction with your dad, it's important to know that no one has a right to hurt you in any way -- verbally or physically. If you are comfortable calling us directly, we can work together to come up with a plan for you to stay safe. We can also help you make an abuse report if that is what you want to do (again, our number is completely confidential and anonymous).

We appreciate your bravery in telling us about your thoughts of suicide, and it is not wrong to feel any emotion you may have. How long have you had these thoughts? You also mentioned cutting your ankles and wrists over 50 times. Have you told anyone about these instances of cutting? If you feel like you can't talk to an adult you know about these feelings, you can always call us directly. We are here for you. You can also call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255); they are available 24 hours a day.

It's very mature of you to be understanding of your dad's situation and to see reasons for why he acts the way he does. Wanting to find help for your dad shows how much you care for him, even though you feel he isn't treating you right. We can help locate local resources that can help both you and him, such as family counseling, if you decide to call in.

We appreciate you taking the iniative to reach out for help. We are here to support you in any decision you want to make here at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We look forward to your call, and are here 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Stay safe.

- NRS