Lesbian at 17

[Unregistered]

I recently told my grandparents (who have legal custody of me) that I am a lesbian. I am 3 days away from my 17th birthday. They tell me I am wrong for being who I am and they won't accept me. I do not want to stay in a house where I feel like I am being looked down on because of my sexual preference. My girlfriend is 18 and I wanted to know if I could leave my house and live with her at 17 without my parents being able to do anything about it?

[ccsmod10]

RE: Lesbian at 17

Hello, thanks for contacting us about this.

It sounds like you’re dealing with some heavy stuff, and we’re glad you decided to reach out. This sounds like a stressful situation.

You state that you told your grandparents, who are your legal guardians, that you are gay. Unfortunately, they do not accept you for who you are, and instead have chosen to judge you negatively.

Meanwhile, you are almost 17, and are wondering if you could leave home and live with your girlfriend, who is 18.

That’s a good question. The answer depends on the laws where you live. We are not legal experts, but we do have a database of resources that includes attorneys who volunteer their time. If you would like us to look up some options for you, feel free to call us any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929) – we are here 24 hours a day, every day.

Generally speaking (meaning this may not be the case where you live), a person is not considered a legal adult until they turn 18. Once a person is a legal adult in the area where they live, they are allowed to make decisions for themselves – generally speaking. Hypothetically, if a person who was not yet a legal adult left home without permission, they are typically considered a runaway. At that point, if the legal guardian chooses to file a “runaway report,” then the police generally respond by returning the youth to their guardians.

The laws where you live may be different. If you want to know the specifics, you have the options of calling the local police and asking hypothetical questions, or calling us here anytime, and we can discuss your options. We aren't legal experts at all, but we can find legal experts in your area who volunteer their time. It’s entirely up to you, but we are here to help.

There are a couple of national agencies that may be helpful to you, as well. They provide support and/or resources to LGBTQ youth.

GLBT National Hotline: 888-843-4564
Trevor Hotline: 866-488-7386

Hopefully this is helpful to you. This situation sounds incredibly painful and harsh. You are very strong to be able to handle such a stressful matter. We wish you the best.

Take care,
~NRS