Is this punishment or emotional abuse? I am so frustrated and upset what should I do?

[Unregistered]

My grandma doesn't treat me like grandma should treat her child! I am 13 and she always criticizes me and what I do. She always badmouths my dad. (I live with her because he cant take care of me even though he's nice (he is sick)and my mom is sick and lives in a adult home) even though I have told her it hurts my feelings. she says i'm a good for nothing brat and im going to end up a bum like ny parents. She yells at me for everything and every mistake i make , and if I try to explain that shes hurting my feelings she doesn't listen. she calls me names tells me shes going to go back to court and giving me up to my dad and that I should go live with him and get nothing. She says bad tings about my friend who is 8 and has down ssyndrome who I am trying to teach. she says im the one abusing her by making these mistakes/ misbehaving . she got me so upset that think about running away. I Have gotten really upset and left the house. My grandmother would see me leving and insult me more and tell me to leve. One night i got upset and went out to take a walk i calmed down and was ready to come home when outside the door i over herd her insalting me and saying she would not look for meand dosent give a s*** abut what happens to me. After over hearing her i left and came back later that night. I know thad kid misbehave (i have ADHD and AS and I know i could be a hand full sometimes) and i know kids have to be disciplined/ punished but i feel this is wrong. and she dose it even when i have an accident like spilling or dropping something. I love my grandma and i know that she saved me from a foster home . but i don't want to be hurt.
what should i do?

[ccsmod8]

Re: Is This Punishment or Emotional Abuse?I am frustrated and Upset.What Should I do?

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us at National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are dealing quite a lot right now. You raised a good question on whether or not what you have experienced is punishment or emotional abuse. We do not define or investigate abuse. We can only report it. We are mandated reporters. If you were to call us and give us your name and the information of your grandmother we can report it. However, we are a confidential hotline and will not report abuse unless you were to give us this info.

You deserve to feel safe in your own home. Do you feel safe when your grandmother acts this way towards you? We are mainly concerned for your safety. Our goal is to help keep at risk, homeless and runaway youth safe and off the streets. It seems you are torn with what to make of your situation. It is understandable why you will feel frustrated and upset. Although we cannot tell you what to do we can explore options with you. What are some things you do to cope with this situation?

We cannot tell you to run away or not. The goal will be to figure out ways for you to remain safe if you were to stay or leave home. We are here 24 hours a day to talk to you. It may be helpful to have a pair of ears for when you need to vent and get emotional support. All of our liners are trained the same way to support you. So the options may be to get emancipated if you can prove you can care for all your social and financial needs or whether you can continue to cope with the situation at home. We can brainstorm what you will do to remain safe if you were to leave home. We have resources in our database if you were somewhere and needed food, clothing or shelter.

If you were to leave and need a way back home we have a program called Home Free which is a free bus ticket to return you back to your guardian, if you are stranded. If you leave we also provide a conference call and a message service to help you connect with your grandmother. We can facilitate a conference call to help resolve some of your issues at home so that you will want to stay there. However, the choice is always yours.

We can leave messages for your grandmother and keep messages for you here. Our services are in the spirit of family reunification. We also have resources for counseling if you feel that might be helpful to speak with someone professional. We hope this info has been helpful to you. You are welcome to call us if you find time for direct support over the phone at 1800RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Good luck.

-NRS

[Unregistered]

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. I am torn on what to do but I don't think I should run away at least until i can buy/ rent some were safe to live and a job. I have asked the police about running away but they said until im 16 all they could do is bring me back home. Sometimes at home I feel unsafe and scared. To cope with the situation I would go into my room are take a walk outside to calm down. But sometimes i still feel unsafe and I feel angry.

[ccsmod10]

Thanks for replying

Thanks for writing back to us; those sound like really good strategies for when you are feeling frustrated and upset. If you would like to discuss more strategies or resources that might be available to you in your community, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY - we are here everyday, 24 hours a day to help you. Good luck.