I dont know what to do anymore

[Unregistered]

Ok so for the past couple years now I've been dealing with the emotional drama my parents have been putting me through. Even as a child my drunken father would physically abuse me. Now I'm 17 (turning 18 in july) and I know better to stay away from him when he drinks which is hard since he drinks all the time. So for the past few months I've been trying to stay as far away from home as possible. But things have just been getting worse. The more I go out trying to stay away from them they try even harder to keep me on lock down saying they wanna see me. But even when I am home I stay in my room to distance myself from them.

I've tried talking to them and telling them my side of the story but that did nothing. Me telling them how I felt just made things 100 times worse and now they're threatening to send me away to the Philippines. Can they do that to me even if I'm already over 17 and a half ( I live in California ) ? I seriously just don't know what to do anymore. I can't take all the verbal abuse from them. I just want to disappear.

[ccsmod10]

RE: I dont know what to do anymore

Hello, and thank you for reaching out to us.

It sounds like you’re trying to manage a complicated, stressful situation at home. We’re glad you decided to contact us today.

You state that your father is alcoholic who has physically abused you in the past. That is terrible for anyone to endure, and we are very sorry to hear that you have been through such a harrowing experience. Your strength and resolve are both great, clearly. Nevertheless, no one should be treated that way by anyone, ever.

You also state that you are currently 17 years old, and about to turn 18. Lately your strategy to avoid conflict is to stay away from home as much as possible. However, as a result your family have been trying to make you stay at home as much as possible, because they say they want to see you more often. In turn, you stay in your room to stay clear of trouble when you’re home.

Finally, you state that you tried talking to them about what’s been going on, but instead of accepting you, they are threatening to send you to the Philippines. You are unsure if that is legal.

Ultimately, you feel unsure of anything. You say you can’t take the verbal abuse, and you just want to disappear.

This sounds like a very upsetting, painful matter to be going through. Have you tried talking to anyone about this stuff? Sometimes, people in crisis turn to a friend, family member, teacher, guidance counselor, pastor, or private counselor for support. This option may or may not appeal to you – it is entirely your decision. We do not tell people what to do.

Because we’re not legal experts, we can’t say whether your parents are legally permitted to send you to another country. Generally speaking, a person is legally under the care of their guardian until age 18 – including California. Prior to one’s 18th birthday, the options are limited. However, a legal expert may be better able to help you establish your options. In case that options appeals to you (it may not appeal to you – it is entirely your decision; we do not tell people what to do), here are a couple of places you can contact for legal assistance.

Justice For Children
800-733-0059

http://justiceforchildren.org

The Alliance for Children’s Rights
213-368-6010

http://kids-alliance.org

Both Justice For Children and The Alliance for Children’s Rights provide basic legal aid to victims of abuse.

In addition, you always have the option of calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929). We are a 24-hour crisis call center, available every day, all day long – holidays included. We can also talk to you online right here at www.1800RUNAWAY.org – we can instant message with you daily from 4:30pm to 11:30pm, Central time.

Hopefully this is helpful. We wish you the very best, and again – thank you for reaching out to us.

[Unregistered]

Thanks for the support, I have been trying to make the best of these last few weeks before my birthday. Avoiding my parents has helped and I've talked to my friends about my problem and I'm seriously thinking about talking to my school therapist. But I'm afraid that she will report my parents and then I will never hear the end of it from my family. My mother will turn against me if I tell them about the physical and verbal abuse I get from my father and I do not want my troubles to ruin other people's lives so I hope things get better on its own.

[ccsmod1]

Re: RE: I dont know what to do anymore

No problem. It sounds like you’re doing your best to cope with the situation and that’s all anyone can do. We hope you know that the abuse you’re going through is not your fault. No matter what we are always here for you. If you ever need to you can also give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us live any day from 4:30-11:30pm central time.

Best,
NRS Supervisor