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  • 16 and I want to leave

    My family is all LDS, and a few months ago I looked inside myself and found that I didn't believe in it at all. I talked to my parents about this, and being mormon parents they continued to exert total control over my life. I have also come to the realization that I may be bisexual, and I know that if I were to ever become demented enough to confide this in my family, they would either send me to some sort of church counselor to therapize it out of me, or send me to some sort of camp, or something. I've tried to talk to my parents about it, but they think they can convert my mind back if they force me to go to church every sunday, and we argue about it. The first time I refused to go to church, my mother screamed at me that I was going to drag my family down to hell with me, showing that they lack understanding of my views, and also that they lack understanding of their own religion. I'm failing in school, through no one's fault except my own, and that causes more contention in my family. I'm failing most of my classes. One of the last reasons I had to stay with my family (aside from shelter, food, clothing, etc.) was that I believed I had to finish high school and get a diploma in order to be accepted into the army, but I recently found that they will still take me with a GED if I make a high score on the ASVAB, which a short practice test and a long practice test have told me is likely. I have a destination planned, shelter when I get there, and the person that will shelter me is going to pay me for doing work. Before I leave I plan on retrieving my social security number and birth certificate from my family's files. I've wanted to want to stay, but deep internal consideration of my current situation has convinced me this is a better solution.

  • #2
    16 and I want to leave

    Hi,
    Thanks for posting to our NRS Bulletin board.
    You certainly seem to be trying to find a way to deal with what must be a difficult situation for you.
    It was very courageous of you to be so open to your parents.
    We are sorry to hear your parents are not being more supportive of you.
    Yelling or screaming at you hardly seems fair and is quite undeserving.
    You stated that the stress from your parent’s lack of understanding has made it quite difficult to concentrate at school and as a result your grades are sliding.
    We are sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.
    Have you tried talking to a counselor at school about your situation?
    We understand that it must be hard for you to focus on your school work.
    It really seems to be a concern for you.
    Sometimes it can be helpful to a have a friend or other family member you can turn to for support.
    How have you been coping emotionally?

    It looks like you have gathered a lot of information in regards to your thoughts of joining the armed services. You seem to be quite thorough in trying to come up with a plan.
    It looks like you might be planning to leave home and stay with someone who will help you find work.
    Is that right?
    Its okay that you are thinking things through it shows good judgment on your part.
    We are available to listen and discuss whatever plans and thoughts you might have about your situation.
    You are welcome to give us a call at our 24hr crisis hotline number 1-800 Runaway (786-2929).
    You also have the option of visiting our website and contacting our NRS Chat Room which is available from 4:30pm until 10:30pm (Central Standard Time). There is also the NRS bulletin Board and our crisis email at [email protected].
    We hope that communication improves with your parents and you feel less stressful.
    Take Care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I've talked to my parents about seeing some sort of therapist. My mom suggested I see a school counselor, but I want to talk with an unaffiliated third party, and any school employee would be more concerned with my staying in school than anything else. My sister recently left for college, and she was the only one that I could at least partially confide in. I found a group of sincere and friendly people in the My Little Pony fandom, known colloquially as Bronies, and have conferred with them about my present situation. I've spoken with my girlfriend about all of this, and it is her mother that I will be boarding with. I'll be paid to do things that she can't do herself. My girlfriend lives on the other side of the country and will eventually move back in with her mother. I plan to send a letter to my family regarding most of my reasons for leaving when I reach my destination, or leave a note behind. I may not want to live with them any longer, but I certainly don't want them to think me dead.

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: 16 and I want to leave

        Hello, and thank you for reaching out to us again at the National Runaway Switchboard.

        It sounds like you’ve discussed counseling as an option with your parents, but they suggested a school counselor while you would prefer a neutral, third-party counselor. You used to talk things over with your sister, but now that she’s in college that option became less available. Finally, you’ve found some help by talking over your situation with a community of friends, as well as your girlfriend, and you’ve arrived at a plan. It sounds like your plan is to stay with your girlfriend’s mother, to work for her around the house, and eventually your girlfriend will join you there. You intend to send a letter to your family after you’ve left, so they know you are alive and well.

        This plan sounds fairly comprehensive, and will ultimately keep you safe, and that’s our first priority: your safety. Have you figured out how you are going to get to your girlfriend’s mother? Do you know when you will be leaving? What about food, clothes, and money – do you have a plan for those?

        Keep in mind, you always have the option of calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929) to discuss your situation. We are completely confidential and anonymous, we have a database of resources we can access on your behalf, and we are here to listen. 24 hours a day, every day. You can also talk to us online via our instant messaging service at www.1800RUNAWAY.org – just click the big red button between 4:30pm and 11:30pm, Central time, every day.

        Thank you again for contacting us, and best wishes.

        ~NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod10; 03-15-2012, 07:19 PM.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm either going to hitch a ride from where I live to her house, which is less than 200 miles and a short ride, or I'll arrange for my girlfriend's mother to pick me up, which she may be less willing to do as I would likely have to pay for gas. I live in las vegas, and I plan on leaving on friday april 6. The i-15 goes straight south to barstow, near my destination, and I plan to go as far south as public transit will take me & try to hitch a ride on an on-ramp, as hitchhiking on the freeway may get me noticed by police. I plan on doing this either on the night of april 6, or the morning of april 7. I won't really be in much of a hurry because Barstow isn't too far away, and I know I'll likely spend longer waiting for a ride than the ride will take, and I don't plan to accept rides by anyone whose faculties may appear impaired in any way.

          Comment


          • #6
            RE: 16 and I want to leave

            Hello, and thanks for contacting us again about this issue.

            So it sounds like your plan is to hitch hike, primarily. Your backup plan is to ask your girlfriend’s mother to pick you up, but you’re unsure about this because you do not have gas money to provide her.

            Hitchhiking does not sound like a safe option, however, because there is simply no way to be sure those who stop for you are trustworthy. You also mentioned that the police are less likely to notice you on a ramp than on the freeway itself – can you explain that a little bit? The police are usually interested in hitchhikers anywhere they are seen.

            Have you thought about any other safe options for travel? Does your girlfriend know you plan to hitchhike?

            One option some people in your position have considered is taking a bus, like Greyhound, or a train, like Amtrak. The tickets are usually inexpensive. Is that an option for you? You state that you’re not in a hurry to get to your destination. If the cost is too high, could you find a way to raise the necessary funds before you leave home, to ensure you are traveling safely?

            Another option some people in your position have considered is reaching out to friends that they trust, to see if anyone they know can offer a ride to his or her destination. Those same friends could also be asked to help pay for a ticket. Is that possible for you?

            We want to make sure you have a plan to stay safe. If you want to continue this conversation, please call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929).

            Best wishes, and stay safe.

            ~NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Addendum:
              I will likely have about $25-$30 for the ride over. Also, another reason I wish to leave is my mother's obsession over pimples. Specifically, those which other people have. I've developed anxiety over people touching me on the face, and I've told my mother about this, and she thinks I am simply paranoid, and continues to obsess over my pimples. If I simply try to avoid her, my dad will physically restrain me, which also makes me extremely anxious, due to my mother's chronic pimple obsession.

              Comment


              • #8
                RE: 16 and I want to leave

                Thanks again for writing back.

                It sounds like you will have some funds, which means you have the option of using it to pay for some of the gas your girlfriend's mother ask you to give her. Is that something you are considering? You also have the option of putting the funds toward a ticket on Greyhound or Amtrak - is that something you are considering?

                As we stated previously, our primary goal is to help you stay as safe as possible.

                It sounds like you feel uncomfortable at home due to your mother's obsessions with pimples. That does sound extremely awkward, and your discomfort is understandble. Have you tried talking to anyone about this?

                If you would like to continue this conversation, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929).

                Best wishes,
                ~NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  I had previously investigated as to the law regarding hitchhiking in nevada, and believed it to say that hitchhiking was prohibited on the freeway, but it seems I was mistaken. It seems that it's only illegal if I'm actually standing the the road, like in a car lane. I plan to hitchhike because there are no friends that would be able to give me a ride, and I wouldn't have the money necessary for a bus ticket, unless I was sent the money. I'm also concerned that identification would be required for a greyhound bus ticket. I've discussed hitchhiking with my girlfriend, and she expresses approval because I don't have many options to reach my destination. If I can gather the money, I'll get a bus ticket instead, but I'm not very sure of the feasibility of that.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    RE: 16 and I want to leave

                    Hi again,

                    It sounds like you're planning to hitchhike. You always have that option. You also always have the option of choosing a safer mode of transportation.

                    If you would like to continue this conversation, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929).

                    Best wishes
                    ~NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      After talking with my girlfriend, I found that greyhound doesn't need ID, and that she can buy my ticket, which is what I'm going to do.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        RE: 16 and I want to leave

                        Hello,

                        It sounds like you're going to use Greyhound to get to your girlfriend's mother's house. Using Greyhound to travel sounds like a safer option than hitchhiking.

                        If you need any support or resources before, during, or after your trip, please don't hesitate to call us: 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929).

                        ~NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment

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