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im 18 and im leaving home

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Guest View Post
    I'm 18, 19 in a month, and am at a local college. in lockdown atm so at home all the time. can't cope. dysfunctional family. emotional neglect and abuse. feeling suicidal. pet dog isn't looked after adequately, I am responsible for talking care of him emotionally eg keeping him company, no one else does. want to move out. no job; have saved up money though. will try to get a job after lockdown. feel trapped at home. have a car passed my test in February after years of lessons.
    have been talking to centrepoint and Oxfordshire safe haven. my college tutor is supporting me. I just want to know if it is possible to leave home at my age safely and have a place to live. where could I realistically live// in an apartment or flatshare? not sure.
    I can't live here anymore. my parents are... off. my mum has an undiagnosed and untreated mental health problem, and she sometimes gets so frustrated with her emotions that it comes out as extreme anger directed at me usually. my dad is not supportive on this front. she refuses to see anyone about it. has no job. dad works full time. she doesn't talk to friends/doesn't have any close friends.
    I just cant cope with it anymore. I can't do it. it's too much and has always been like this. I have been gaslighted before; I thought it was all in my head which was awful. anyway that's another long story.
    every day is a struggle to get through. I have no one to talk to at home. my car is in the driveway but mum and dad park their cars in front of mine so I can't leave. I can't talk on the phone at home cause they'd hear. I tend to drive away from home a short distance to park somewhere and then I can chat openly on the phone.
    I'm just 12, but I just can't live with my parents at my home. I just can't. They are always shouting at me for no reason and they always treat my elder brother better than me. They are always unfair. I want to run away, but how? Things are very bad during lockdown, but what can I do? I'm not even 18, and I'm having family problems. There are no adoption agencies in my country, and I'm not prepared to live in the streets. What should I do? I tried to explain this to my parents, but as usual, they ignored me. If anyone reads my quote, please advise me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

    Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 18, 19 in a month, and am at a local college. in lockdown atm so at home all the time. can't cope. dysfunctional family. emotional neglect and abuse. feeling suicidal. pet dog isn't looked after adequately, I am responsible for talking care of him emotionally eg keeping him company, no one else does. want to move out. no job; have saved up money though. will try to get a job after lockdown. feel trapped at home. have a car passed my test in February after years of lessons.
    have been talking to centrepoint and Oxfordshire safe haven. my college tutor is supporting me. I just want to know if it is possible to leave home at my age safely and have a place to live. where could I realistically live// in an apartment or flatshare? not sure.
    I can't live here anymore. my parents are... off. my mum has an undiagnosed and untreated mental health problem, and she sometimes gets so frustrated with her emotions that it comes out as extreme anger directed at me usually. my dad is not supportive on this front. she refuses to see anyone about it. has no job. dad works full time. she doesn't talk to friends/doesn't have any close friends.
    I just cant cope with it anymore. I can't do it. it's too much and has always been like this. I have been gaslighted before; I thought it was all in my head which was awful. anyway that's another long story.
    every day is a struggle to get through. I have no one to talk to at home. my car is in the driveway but mum and dad park their cars in front of mine so I can't leave. I can't talk on the phone at home cause they'd hear. I tend to drive away from home a short distance to park somewhere and then I can chat openly on the phone.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 18 years old , I live with my mom and lately I’ve been hating it a couple of months ago she found out that I’m sexually active she would call me things like hoe and slut just for having sex . I’m always watching my younger brother which is very stressful and my mom doesn’t let me leave the house so lately I have been just sneaking out because I feel so trapped and a little suicidal by just being under her roof lately I have been thinking about just leaving and never coming back and I just want to do it soon so that I can finally stop feeling trapped.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear you aren't being treated with respect at home right now. We'd like to help out further but need a little more information from you to help you figure out your options. The best way to do that would be if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Please be safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I dont even know what to do with my life anymore im a 13 year old boy who wants to go live back with there real parents bc i get treeted so disrespectfully under the roof were i l ive know

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like your friend is going through a difficult time right now. It is great that you are there to support your friend, it shows you are a great friend.
    Your friend does not deserve to be told those mean things, and we are sorry they are dealing with that. Because your friend is 18 years old , in most states they are legally allowed to leave home. To figure out if they can legally leave home you or him can call your local police department and ask. If he needs somewhere to stay one option to consider is to see if he can stay with any friends or family members. Another option to consider is to look into shelters. If he needs help looking for a shelter he can call us and we can help him look for a shelter in his area. Also if he does get accepted into college, maybe he would be able to stay at the college if they offer housing.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you and your friend in their situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you and your friend the best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    my best friend lives at home with his twin brother and his father- the mom works in another state. he has a really bad relationship with his father. he does smoke and do drugs, but he’s getting better at moderating it. he’s so talented and has gotten into multiple colleges for music with scholarships. but his dad is ruthless with him. i was facetiming him once and he accidentally set a paper towel on fire while making breakfast and his dad went “dont talk to me, i don’t like you, get the ******** away from me” my friend always snap chats me crying or saying how he can’t deal w his dad anymore. he is 18 and able to leave, but he doesn’t know how i don’t know how to help him. his dad has also said that once college acceptances and the school year is over, he is planning on getting my friend the f**k out of his house. how do i help and what do i do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you are going through a lot at home and we are here to help.
    We aren't legal experts here at NRS, and depending on the state you live in, 18 years of age may be the age of majority. If you reside in a state where the age of majority is over 18, you are considered a minor and a legal guardian would need to authorize an alternate living situation. If you did leave home, your parents could file a runaway report. Running away isn't illegal, but something that can't be done as a minor (like smoking or gambling etc.). Generally speaking, if a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities, you would most likely be brought back home.

    It may be most helpful for you to consider calling us at 1-800-786-2929 and speak with us so we can obtain more information from you about what’s going on. We are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week. We can help you brainstorm a plan that will keep you safe.

    Best of luck,
    National Runaway Safeline

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m going to be 18, and I’m still in school and I can’t graduate until I’m 19 am I legally allowed to live with my boyfriend since I’m 18, she says she will call the cops on me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, 

    Thanks for taking the time to reach out and share your situation with us. From what you have shared, your dad is making home unsafe for you. Your safety is most important and we encourage you take any necessary steps to regain a sense of security. You deserve to be living somewhere you feel at ease and comfortable. 

    In most states (with the exception of Nebraska, Alabama, and Mississippi) 18 is the age of majority which means you are considered a legal adult. The good news is that you likely have the legal freedom to choose where you live. At 18 you would no longer be considered a runaway and police would not have a reason to force you back home.This means that your dad and other family members cannot force you back home and neither can the police. Should you feel in danger or threatened while still at home or once you are living somewhere else, you can call 911 for emergency services. You can call the non-emergency number for your local police department to ask them about how they can help keep you safe should you feel you need to call 911 for help. Additionally, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org; 1-800-799-7233) may be able to offer more information and suggestions for safety planning once you are ready to leave and how to get a restraining order or order of protection.

    This is a challenging situation to be in, but it sounds like you have been trying your best to leave safely. Your well-being is important and we truly want to be a support for you as you navigate this situation. We are available 24/7 if you have more questions or you would like to talk more in-depth about your next steps. You can reach out anytime by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I just turned 18 and I’ve been planning to leave my house . i live in a toxic household and I just want to leave but I’m scared . I’m scared that my dad will come and take me back . he’s the reason why I want to leave . I’ve ran away twice . the first time was when I was a sophomore, I ran away to another city with my other family members but I had to go back home because I was underage. the second time was last summer , I was still underage so yes I still had to go back home. now that I’m finally 18 , is it possible that my parents or anyone like my older brothers/sisters can force me to go back home ? if they call the police and tell them that I’m missing will the police file a report? but what if I call the police and tell them myself that i am safe ? will they still file a report ? will the police ask me why I’m leaving home? . will the police take me back home if my parents wants me back? the reason why im asking is to make sure that this time i don’t go back to that place . i honestly feel like a prisoner at that house . i sometimes starve myself because he (my dad) scares me so much that i don’t even wanna be in the same room as him. the only time we speak to each other is when he tells me to go downstairs to watch my younger siblings while him and my mom are out gambling . I am still in school but I plan to live with my best friend . she knows everything about me and what I have planned . she and her mom said it’s ok for me to live with them . I just don’t want him (my dad) to come to her house and start beating me because after those two times I’ve ran away he said to me that if I ever try to leave the house again he will beat me until I can’t move . and that he will beat the person that I will be staying with. and I don’t want him to don’t want him to do that to my best friend. is it possible to get a restraining order against him at the age of 18?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Because you are 18, you are allowed to legally leave home in most of the states. It is important that you take anything with you that you will need, such as important documents or prized possessions. If you are feeling unsafe or your parents are trying to prevent you from leaving, you can call your local nonemergency police number and ask them to escort you out of the house. Your family cannot legally prevent you from leaving home if you are of legal age. You can reach out to us directly through our chat or by phone to talk about your situation in more depth.

    Be safe,
    NRS
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