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im 18 and im leaving home

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  • My girlfriend is 18 and her parents just found out that we are dating. They don't agree with it and they believe that being gay is a sin. they are trying to change her and have driven her to complete and total misery. I cannot take her under my roof for a long period of time, but I have resources to help her. She has to figure out finances because she plans on going to college next year. she's a senior in high school. We live in Georgia. What should we do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS via our forum! It sounds like you really care about your girlfriend, she’s lucky to have you as a support in her life.

      From what you explained, it sounds like home life is really hard for your girlfriend. You and she deserve to be accepted and respected. We’re sorry to hear that her parents are so close-minded and hateful. It’s understandable that she’s wanting to get away from that environment. Since she’s 18, she’s considered a legal adult. So she can move out of her parents’ home at any time. You mentioned that her financial situation is a bit tight. We’re always here to listen and brainstorm options for her, if you or she would like to call into our safeline. There may be housing resources in the area, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living (employment, school, etc.). They help youth work on their goals, while they're living there. If you think that could be a useful option to look into, we’re always here to help.

      Again, thanks so much for reaching out for help for your girlfriend. We’re open 24/7 if you or she would like to speak more about the situation and other options. We’re always here!

  • Hello my name is Tiara and I want to leave home and say goodbye to parents and I want to move out and I don’t want to be with my dad anymore and I will work on my driver license and my first car and my job and my first apartment and I will pay a rent and buy a clothes and buy a groceries for the store and I really want to go by my own and I really want to grow up and I will go out and I will be driving soon and I will be happy to my own place and I will go to my favorite store 7-eleven on every Friday.
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 02-20-2018, 04:26 PM. Reason: gave identifying info

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    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi Tiara,
      Thanks for sharing your story with NRS. It sounds like you want to be independent: you look forward to getting your first license, job, car and apartment. These are great goals to strive for. The transition to adulthood and independence can sometimes be a slow one: it may take some time to land a job and build up enough savings to afford an apartment. Perhaps there are ways that you and your parents can work together to help you make progress toward your goals: like helping you practice driving, allowing you to get a job, or helping you set up a savings account. If you would like, we could conference call with your parents where you could talk to them about your desire for independence.
      If you want to talk about why you want to leave home, why you don’t want to be with your dad anymore and why you want to say goodbye to your parents, we encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUN-AWAY (786-2929). If you feel unsafe in the home and need to get away immediately, we can help you explore other resources in your area to get you to safe place.
      Best of luck,
      National Runaway Safeline

  • Can you move out at 17

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    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, however most states require people to be 18 before they can leave home. However, some police do not accept runaway reports for 17 year old's. You could contact your local police through their non emergency number and ask about their runaway policy. If you don't feel comfortable contacting the police, we could call them for you. If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929).

  • OK. So, I grew up with my father and mother. I never had a happy childhood, and living with my mom after my dad left was not amazing, to say the least. Homeless and abused in multiple ways, Red Cross got involved after noticing odd behaviors at school/missing a lot of classes. Me and my sister were offered to go live with my father and stepmother (who my mom never let me communicate with, so I did not know them). According to them, they were told to choose between letting me and my little sister(who's a year younger than me) live with them or go to a foster home. After leaving, my mom was very upset with me. Not long after, she died of an overdose. I have a half brother, different dad, so I was told he could not go with us. Me and him have not communicated since my mom's funeral. My stepmother put me into therapy, and took me to a pshycharatrist. I've worked through therapy, and I've been on different medications. It's been, maybe, three years almost so far. I am still on medicines to help my PTSD, depression and anxiety. I do not believe that my symptoms are nearly as bad at all as they were before. And, as much as therapy has really helped, I have been getting along good now. However, I had sent (basically) sent nudes to older men and so I'm being looked into for that, which means I have no electronical device now. (I'm using a school laptop. whoo.) When I lived with my mom, I shoplifted, and tried to once again last year. Again, only one more time, but I was caught and paid for the items without getting to keep them. Now, currently, I'm working with authorities to find and charge the people in my life who had sexually abused me, right now. In fact today, I go in for a meeting again to discuss one of the men. I don't know if my medicine taking or "criminal" history has to do with anything? My stepmother has Power Of Attorny over me and my sister. My stepfamily, or most of them, do not like me. I'm constantly being talked about behind my back. I am also gay. They don't like that, and I have come out to my father who took it breezily. Sorry, there's a lot. I'm always being accused of small to giant things! Either I supposedly spray too much perfume and she exaggerates by getting an inhaler and chastising me, OR she claims that at Thanksgiving the stuffing tasted "funny" so she tells everyone that I poisined it. Because of what she does, I am not trusted whatsoever. I have attempted suicide before, and have been to the hospital around five times? Or, four, for mental purposes. I understand that I may not be stable. Even though my last suicidal THOUGHT was in September of 2017, I am still not allowed to ever close my bedroom door or have knives or anything. Can't take anything for headaches or bodyaches because my stepmother claims that because I overdosed on migraine medicine like Aspirin, that I am not able to take anything because it may "harm" me. However, when my dad gave me something similar, it did nothing and my pshychatrist had tried to tell her that it's fine for me to have a little every now and then? She won't let me cook/bake, wash my own laundry, or go out ANYWHERE. My last sleepover was the beginning of eighth grade, and I am a sophmore in high school near the END of the year. Now that they know I am gay, I cannot have female friends, basically? But, it's still "innapropriate" to be friendly with males. It's a lose/lose situation. I think she gets off on controlling every little thing in my life. I feel like a puppet. I don't have any devices, or friends I can hang out with, so when I'm grounded they take away the living room TV, the trashcans in the house, and/or my belongings. (Like stuffed animals and pictures of my mom, specifically). I have only ever exploded on her ONCE, and it was just name calling and one admitted threat to cut her hands if she touched my mother's things. My mom was crazy, but I still LOVED her. My mom kind of just stays quiet, and so does my sister. She has a daughter that she had at 17, so she's always assuming I'm having sex. I'm not. After being raped, I am very terrified of it. We do very little family therapy, because she's constantly skipping out on it. Her daughter had made a bet that I would be pregnant by 16, I would like to mention. I just get so much backlash there. I'm not being physically abused, but it's very emotional. There's a restraining order with my biological mother's family, and they won't let me talk to my brother. I'm sorry for taking up your time. So, my stepmother says that when I am 18, I cannot leave the house since I don't graduate until I am 19. I'm so sure she's wrong, but she claims that in the things he signed to officially adopt me and my sister, it said I can't leave the house until high school. I can't really find information elsewhere, and I came across this website. I am a sophomore in high school, and I am turning 17 in May. I'm so close to just exploding and running away. I joke around a lot so no one knows it's bothering me so deeply. I'm sick of crying and feeling so worthless. I have stuck it out for this long, and I can't do it anymore. I think I'll go crazier than I already am. I would absolutely love to graduate from high school and college. I'm in NJROTC and I keep my grades up, but I'm kind of losing it. I'm not currently suicidal, but the hope to even continue bothering is just so far away right now. Thank you for your time, and help! -JT

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi JT, thanks for reaching out! It sounds like your family is mistreating you and you are looking for a way out. That makes sense and sounds really stressful! We are here to help! Glad you reached out!
      It sounds like you have been through quite a lot and you do not deserve any of the abuse or mistreatment you have received. We are here to listen and we believe you when you tell us all the things you have been through. We want to help.
      We are not legal experts, but in most states, 18 is the legal age where one can leave their parents’ home without permission unless safety is a concern, which it sounds like it may be. If you leave without permission before the age of adulthood, your parents can file a runaway report. It is not a crime to run away, but if the police find you, they usually take you back home. Any adult you stay with could also get in trouble for harboring a run away, though it is a rare charge, if your parents want to pursue the charge, it can happen.
      Since safety may be a concern, Child Help may be able to help with giving you information on filing an abuse or neglect report and getting custody transferred to a safe adult. Child Help: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org. We can also talk more about that too and help you file a report if you want to, so call us directly if you want to do that: 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      It also sounds like your mom’s drug use may have had a big impact on you which definitely makes a lot of sense! There is a program called Al-A-Teen that is specifically for children of people who use drugs. You can use their online community and resources, online chat room meetings, phone meetings or find an in person meeting near you: http://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/ Maybe a friend could go with you to a meeting if you want to go, that may be a little less scary.
      You also mentioned not being trusted by your family. That must be so hard to deal with! Is there anyone who may be able to help you talk to your step mom about allowing you more freedom and independence? We know you mentioned she did not listen to your psychiatrist. Perhaps there is an adult you both trust: a family member? Family friend or neighbor? Teacher or guidance counselor at school?
      We also offer conference calling where we are a neutral party who can serve as an advocate on the line for you and make sure your parents hear your side of things. Call us anytime, 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you want to do a conference call!
      You have been through so much at such a young age. You deserve to have support and feel loved. We have a few more online and hotline resources for you that we hope can help. We know you said therapy helped a lot so maybe having these 24/7 resources can help too in times when it all feels too much.
      Even though you are not currently suicidal, the suicide prevention lifeline is always a good one to have. You do not have to be actively suicidal to call them either. You can talk to them about depression, stuff going on at home, etc: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They have a 247 online chat and phone number. The Crisis Text Line is 24/7 by texting 741-741. They handle situations of abuse, depression, suicide, and more.
      Another resource is RAINN (rape abuse incest national network) and they have a 24/7 hotline and online chat along with a lot of great information on how to cope after rape and assault: 1-800-656-4673, rainn.org.
      We also have some LGBTQ resources that may be helpful as it sounds like your family is very unsupportive of your sexual identity.
      LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743.
      The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386, thetrevorproject.org.
      It Gets Better Project itgetsbetter.org
      You deserve to feel supported and we are here to listen and help in any way we can. We are available 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 and 4:30-11:30pm Central Time daily on live chat through our website.
      We wish you the best of luck! You are so strong. It takes so much bravery to go through a life like you describe. We are always here to support and believe you. Call or chat anytime! Be well! -NRS

  • Struggling between Loving my bf or my hateful Family.


    17, birthday is on Dec. My parents don't trust me from my past, but lately i've been behaving, they just can't forgive me. I want to do the military, Marines. But my dad says if I do that, I'm not welcome back home...He says, he is willing to pay for my college tto work in HVAC. But i just keep my head down and agree, in reality my teachers and friends, call my parents **********, and I just see that they want the best for me, but what do I want? I have a bf, I'm engaged to him for almost two years now, and we both want to do the military. What should I do? Stay with my family and leave the one I love, or Leave my family for the one I love? My parents won't let me date, and I can't go out, so I secretly text him, and just be there for each other...I'm confused and very stressed out. My younger sister can't wait for me to leave, she says she can have my room when I leave, and my dad has been trying to get rid of me since I was 10. I really misbehaved a lot, but it's not like i'm that same person today, I don't have a permit, or a car, or a job or anything. My parents are very strict with me, making sure I don't get pregnant like my mom did so early. Making sure my heart doesn't get broken, but in reality that's not how I feel at all. Tell me what's the best thing to do, or look for at least...
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 02-24-2018, 12:16 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks so much for finding our forum and sharing a little bit of what you're currently going through. It sounds like you and your parents have struggled with trust in the past, but you're feeling like they're holding onto some of your past behaviors which has been making it difficult for them to trust you. It seems you understand that your parents want the best for you, but you also feel like they can be very strict. Your situation sounds conflicting as you're trying to choose between family, love, and independence. Understanding that every choice has positive and negative outcomes are important to consider. So, it may help to talk out your feelings and explore your options with someone neutral as it often can help to put things into clearer perspective. It also allows you the chance to weigh all possible outcomes; identify the pros and cons of all decisions you may make.

      Unfortunately we cannot tell you what the best thing to do is as you know yourself and situation best. But, we are here to listen and help if you are in need of some support. Speaking with a school counselor or private therapist often can be helpful too. It sounds like you already utilize teachers and friends which is great. If you are interested in finding resources near you that may help, feel free to call, email or chat with us. We're here for you 24/7.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • JT, again. I was not directly told by you whether or not my stepmother can really legally keep me there past 18 because she legally adopted me and my sister? Also, I am so very grateful for your advice; it did help lift my spirits. However, a lot of the advice you gave me requires personal access to the internet or a phone, which I don't have. I don't have a job, car, license, phone, computer, anything. That's all because I'm "not allowed to". With the possible reporting the emotional abuse or neglect, I am well fed and clothed. I have privaleges such as watching TV and listening to music with a radio in my room. I believe that there is form of abuse, yes, but should I waste a courts time with it? There are people going through so much worse that require justice, and I'm just a girl that never gets along with her step-family.

    Comment


    • ccsmod8
      ccsmod8 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there –

      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well. Reading your post, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. Hopefully we can help.

      We might have not be completely clear with an answer to your questions because we are by no means legal experts so we can’t tell you what is going to happen and what isn’t going to happen when it comes to running away from home and/or runaway laws. We can only go off what we hear from our callers and the few times that we do talk to law enforcement directly. Being legally adopted does not change the legal age of majority for your state. The act of being adopted by someone just means that they are taking on the responsibilities of a legal guardian instead of being a ward of the state where the state is responsible for you. If you states age of majority is 18 (most states are but not all), then you are free to leave home at your choice without having to worry about being brought back.

      Hope that information helps!

  • I just need somewhere to stay. Idc where and it’s really bad at home.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

      We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need.

      We have a database of resources and if you’re able to call in, we can try to brainstorm with you and get a better idea of your situation. If you need somewhere to stay, while on the run, we can try to find a runaway shelter for you. Unfortunately, we are non-directive at NRS, and can't give out advice, but we're always here to talk and listen.

      We’re here if you’d like to talk more about your situation. Our safeline is open 24/7. We also have a chatting service via our website, unfortunately, it is not always open. The best way to contact us would be to call in and talk with our trained liners.

      Be well, NRS

  • I just need a couch and a roof over my head. and from there I will work my way up. I am going to college, but I don't want to drop out.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you have the beginnings of a plan, which shows maturity and forethought. In most states, the age of majority is 18 so it’s likely that you would have no issues legally staying elsewhere. Without knowing too much about your situation, some options you might consider are staying with a friend or another family member. Another option you might consider is staying in a shelter or a transitional living program (TLP), which is similar to a shelter but is more long term and helps you get on your feet. Based on what you said about not wanting to drop out, it sounds like you might be concerned with how to make college happen on a tight budget. That’s a valid concern. If you’ve already decided what school you’ll be going to, your best resource would be the financial aid office at that school. If you haven’t already been accepted or are still considering your options, you might consider looking into schools that offer heavy financial aid and/or scholarships. There are also scholarships that you can apply for, as well. Thanks again for reaching out. If you want to speak more specifically about your situation, locate resources, brainstorm your other options, etc, our phone lines are open 24/7. Thank you again for reaching out. We hope to hear from you soon. If you have a minute, please consider giving your feedback of our crisis forum services at the following link:
      --NRS

  • Hey.... I'm 22yrs ... Actually I want to leave home because my parents they are not supporting me in my acting career as they belongs to village... I have a job too.... I just wanted to know if I'll leave home ... Can my mom and dad call the copes or can they Register any report..... ??

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    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that your parent don't support your acting career. Since you are 22, you are considered an adult which means you have the right to leave home. If you were to leave home, your parents could not file a runaway report on you. However, they may file a missing persons report. If they file a missing persons report, you could contact the police and let them know you are safe. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any additional questions.

  • I’m 18 and I want to leave my house but I don’t have money to. Whenever I try to get a job my mom always prevents me from getting one or if I do get one she gets me fired one way or another. I’ve always known she’s hated me and has told me she wishes I was never born to my face, but I don’t know how I can get out of this situation. Recently she got really mad at me and told me to get out, I was contemplating whether to leave or not but my siblings stopped me. She even threatened to kill me with a knife so I don’t feel safe at all anymore. I’ve always thought I would be able to get out once I graduated university but I know my time is ticking. She’s also constantly telling me how her blood pressure goes up just looking at me when I’m just sitting there and doing nothing. She takes all the money I have or get including my fafsa and scholarship money. In the past she’s also taken all of my paychecks from when I had a job for a short amount of time. I don’t have a passport or an aID card so I don’t know how far I can go since I don’t have a bank account either. I’m miserable at home and I feel like it’s a matter of time before some bad things happen. What do I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. It sounds like you’re having a really tough time at home with your mom. We’re sorry to hear that you’ve been having these issues. No one deserves to feel unsafe, especially at home. But we are glad that you are looking for ways to help yourself and stay safe.
      Since you’re 18, you can most likely leave home legally without your mom’s permission. Do you have any friends or relatives nearby that you can either stay with or help you get on your feet? If you’re in college, your school might have housing assistance. We can also help you see if there are some transitional living programs in your area.
      If you want to discuss these options or explore others that might be available, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You aren’t alone. We are here to help the best way we can. We look forward to hearing from you. Good luck and stay strong!
      NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Hi I am 15 years old, and I know I am a little young to be wondering about this stuff yet, but I need answers. I will graduate when I'm 17. I want to move out of my home as soon as possible, but since I won't turn 18 until after I graduate I will be stuck with my parents until college starts, but for my first year of college my mom wants me to stay at their house, except I don't want to. My mom want's me to stay because I have Asperger's Syndrome and she worries that I won't be able to handle being out on my own yet. She constantly throws it in my face and acts like I'm incapable of anything. To prove her wrong I want to get my driver's license, get a job, and get scholarships, but I'm worried because I don't know how to get a job, and I don't know how to get scholarships, and no matter how many times I ask her she ignores me. I also keep trying to get my required driving time, but she tells me I'm too slow and she's afraid she'll die if I do drive. I also want to know how to the little things like how I'll be able to pay bills and how I make a resume. I basically just want to learn how to be an adult and how to get away from my mother.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re looking for more information and guidance so that you can move towards being independent. You’re asking some really great questions, and we’re so sorry that your mom hasn’t been as helpful as you would like her to be. It looks like you’re doing your best to be proactive and prepare for the time when you can be independent, and we will do our best to help you figure out the best way to do that.
      If you’re attending a local school, your assigned guidance counselor can provide you more information on what you can do about looking for work, what scholarships you might be eligible for, and how to develop a resume. Regarding a driver’s license and practice time, if your school offers drivers education, perhaps the instructor might be willing to approach your mom with you to help you advocate for the skills you already have. With regards to being able to pay bills and live independently, resources like transitional housing might be a good option for you. Depending on the agencies in your area, you may have a semi-private or private space to live in that will either be free or low cost. Transitional housing is helpful because they often have case managers there to help you find work, get yourself settled in school, and basically get you prepared to be independent.
      We recognize that you’ve had a tough time finding information, and it sounds like your mom has not been helpful with your goals to become independent. If you feel like you need more help, or you’d like to talk to someone about local resources, please don’t hesitate to call us or send us a chat. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you figure out the resources that would be most helpful to you. We wish you the very best of luck.
      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.
      Stay safe!
      -NRS

  • im 18 and i am abused. My family is well off and everytime CPS is at our house they find nothing wrong. They will listen to adults before they listen to the 9 kids in the house. Im leaving home and am ready tosleep on the streets

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation and are not feeling safe at home. Do not deserve to be treated this way and we want to help.
      The good news is that since you are 18 you do not have to stay in your parents’ house. If they are hurting you can call the police because that is assault which is an arrestable offense. You might be able to get some assistance for your siblings at https://justiceforchildren.org/. Justice for Children’s Call Center helps when the child protection system fails to protect a child. They offer information, guidance and assistance to adults who are trying to keep the child safe.
      We hope that you are able to get the resolution that you need. Additionally, if you and your siblings need a safe place to go please give us a call so we can use our database to help you find a safe place. You can also to visit The National Safeplace website (www.nationalsafeplace.org). This organization provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for youth in need. You can look up your city and state to see if there are any safe places near you listed. So that is always an option if you feel like talking to someone in person about what has been going on or if you just need of a safe place to stay.
      You also may use your phone to text the word “safe” and your current location (city/state/zip) to 69866. If there are safe places and shelters nearby, a list of those will be sent to your phone and you may have the option to text back and forth with a trained counselor as well.
      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think
      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • 17 and wanting to leave
    I want to leave my adopted home because I have been really stressed out and I can't do anything to please my parents. My dad acts like I'm still six and my mom wont let me act my age.My dad is racist and I am scared to bring my boyfriend around. I have been mentally, emotionally and even physically abused. I want to go live with my boyfriend because he knows my situation and he's asked his mom and its ok with her. I can't handle this anymore and I am just completely fed up. Please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. This is a really difficult situation, and reaching out can be really scary. It sounds like you have a good support system with your boyfriend and his mom, which is really great to hear. However, it is really hard to not have that at home.

      Any type of abuse is not okay. If you are interested in filing an abuse report we can definitely help you with that information. If you felt comfortable reaching out over the phone to us, we could definitely help you do this. We could provide you the numbers to call, or you could give us the information we need to file it for you. If you chose to do this, you would have to give us a lot of personal information. We can definitely talk about more of the details if this is something you are interested in.
      As far as living with your boyfriend, because you are 17 you are still a minor. This means that if you choose to live somewhere without your parents’ permission, you would be considered a runaway.

      Running away is not illegal, but your parents could file a runaway report, and if the police found you they would bring you home. Depending on how close you are to 18, sometimes police are more lenient and less likely to pursue you. However, this is a case by case basis, and depends on the state, so it is best to assume the police would probably bring you home. Harboing a runaway is illegal, so your boyfriend’s mom could possibly get in trouble if you were found with her.

      This is a really frustrating situation, and it is very valid to not want to live with your parents. We could look in shelters in your area, if you felt comfortable providing city and state, as some do not require parental notification or consent. This could be one option. Another option is to talk to the counselors at your school, as they often have location specific information and could aid you in trying to live away from your parents. However, all school personnel are mandated reporters, so if you do not want an abuse report fled you should not tell them about the abuse. If you are comfortable with filing an abuse report, they can be good people to talk to as they could help you file an abuse report.

      We know this is a lot of information, and there is a lot to think about, so if you have any questions or want more information or to talk through more options, please feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929. We are here 24/7 to listen and to help.

      Thanks so much for reaching out,
      NRS

  • Hi,

    im an 18 year old from California and I want to leave home and I know that's it legal for me. I have to do it in secret though as if my mom knew she wouldn't let me go out. I can't deal living in the house anymore and I have so much control over me. I have somewhere I can go but I'm worried that my mom will call the police that I'm missing which she will or a private investigator anything she can do to find me which I'm worried about as I'm 18 I have the right to go but after I leave I don't want to see her as her breaking into the house I'm in is against the law. I'm worried she will try to hunt and find me after I leave. I don't want to go to college and she paid my college deposit and I'm not in trouble for that as I want to go away.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From your bulletin to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. We have attached a copy of the bulletin that is similar. Feel free to call us with follow-up questions. 1-800-786-2929
      Originally posted by Guest View Post
      I just need a couch and a roof over my head. and from there I will work my way up. I am going to college, but I don't want to drop out.

      Hello there –

      Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. We do want to say that it must be very hard for you to have to go through all of this. It sounds like a very stressful situation for you at home. Hopefully by supporting you there are other that are reading through this thread that can relate can feel helped as well.

      As you have probably read in other threads, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. Now we are not legal experts, but what generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Now considering the information above, you are a legal adult and cannot be forced home and your parents cannot file a runaway report with the police. Now if you have not told them where you are or have cut all communication with them, they can call the police still but to file a missing person’s report rather than a runaway report. It would not affect you at all though because they do not normally come up on background checks. You can always go to the police and tell them that you are not missing.

      So factoring in these kinds of thoughts into your overall plan, (i.e what's your role in the house, are you going to be working, how long are you going to live there, will you be paying your share of the bills, what happens if you break up, what happens if you realize down the road that you can't live together and they kick you out, etc). Keeping your thoughts realistic will help you decide what is possible and what is not possible for you to do.

      Best of luck!

  • I just don’t know how tf to get away from my mom. She is irritating asf & I HIGH KEY hate this **********. She’s so boring she acts like a ********ing robot towards my friends because she haves no ********ING LIFE!!!! & she’s moves so ********ng much now me & her are all boo’d up & this ********ing motel & I honesty just can’t ********ing take anymore. I don’t have a ID,I didn’t finish school because this fat ********** and I don’t know how to survive on my own. And I think my mother is taking advantage of that. Like literally EVERYTIME when we argue she always tells me “well you can get tf out” I WANT TO GET TF OUT!!! I seriously want to get tf away from my mom but I don’t know how. I don’t know how to drive because nobody taught me as a kid my mother never bothered to take me to driving classes because she would rather be on her ********ing laptop

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services. If you need to further chat with us about your situation please feel free to reach out to us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our chat.
      Best of luck,
      NRS
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