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im 18 and im leaving home

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  • My dad has custody of me because of the divorce. I'm going to be 18 and I'm graduating at 19 does my dad have any control of my education and if so can I move out?

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    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, Thank you for taking your time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are concerned about your dad being able to control your education when you turn 18. The good news is that since you are going to be 18 (the age of majority in most states) you would be considered a legal adult. This means that you re in control of your own affairs. So you can enroll in any school of your choosing. The only complication comes when you are discussing paying for school. That might be complicated because you could be claimed by your parents in their taxes. If this is the case you should be able to talk to someone in the financial aid department.
      We hope this information helps and you are able to achieve what you want. If you would like to talk more about what you are going through you are welcome to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • I want to leave home, at 18. The reason ? Because I want to be independent, I like being independent. As awful as i sound, I feel like I can’t breathe when I’m under my parents roof , and they has cause me to have anxiety and depression. At this point in my life right now I’m 16 and the minute I turn 18 , I’m gone but I’m also not that stupid . I want to prepare my self ahead of time . I still have 2 more years and i want to know what I should do to prepare . I really want this. I have been thinking about this for awhile

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline and sharing your story with us. It sounds like living in your parents’ home right now is challenging and that you are looking forward to your independence and the opportunity to leave when you turn 18. We are sorry to hear that living at home is hard, but it is great that you are trying to prepare yourself for the future and reaching out for help in the process.

      There are a number of things you may want to consider as you ready yourself for independence. First, it may be helpful to set some goals for what independence from your parents will look like. For example, do you want to live on your own, with a friend, take part in a transitional living program, or go away to college? Setting some goals might help you decide what specific skills you may need for independent living and for your transition plan. You may also need to think about how you can financially support yourself while on your own. It may be helpful to search out resources in your community that may offer help and support such as clinics, libraries, park districts, or social service agencies. You also mentioned that your home situation has caused you to have some anxiety and depression. If you are interested in searching for some counseling services while you wait at home to turn 18, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration is a resource for finding help and treatment. The telephone number for their National 24/7 Helpline is 1-800-662-4357 and the website with more information is samhsa.gov.

      Again, it is great that you reached out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your situation at home has been tough and it is great that you are reaching out for help. If you would like to talk more about your situation directly or would like some additional help exploring other options, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us.

  • I am 19 and I left my step moms house. I live in oregon. I have no freedom there and want to live my own life. Can my mom put a missing report on me? If so what to I do to get it off my record. I am a lot happier being out of the house that a lot of bad things happened in I really don't wanna go back.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to us for help.

      Since you are over the age of 18, you are considered to be a legal adult. This means that you have a right to choose where you live. Legally, your mom cannot force you to come home. As a legal adult, you also have a right to your legal documents (social security card and your birth certificate).

      We are here to listen and help you in any way that we can. It's good to hear that you've been happier since you've left your step-moms house! If you need any other resources or you want to talk about your situation, please don’t hesitate to give us a call. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon and wish you the best of luck.

  • I’m 18 Years Old , I’m Not Happy Anymore Living With My Family. Ever Since They Found Out That I Was Dating An Older Guy, They’ve Been Controling Me , Following Me Everywhere I Go. I Got Insulted, I Can’t Hangout With Anyone Without My Little Brother. I Have A Place To Go But My Parents Don’t Let Me Move Out. They Tell Me That I Make Them Suffer Just Because I Try Being Happy. I Can’t Please Them.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a really tight spot with your parents not approving of who you are dating and not letting you move out or give you any freedom. That cannot be easy to deal with and it sounds like it has taken a major toll on you. Here at NRS, we want to help inform you of your rights.

      We are not legal experts, but can speak generally. Most states in the U.S. have the majority age of 18, meaning that is the age you can move out without parental consent and are considered a legal adult. There are a few states with higher majority ages than 18 such as Alabama, Nebraska, and Mississippi; so you might search your state's majority age to verify you can move out at 18. If you are considered a legal adult in your state, your parents are no longer your guardians and cannot force you to stay home, especially since you mentioned that you have somewhere to go when you do move out. You might start thinking about how you are going to support your basic needs without their assistance such as food, finances, medical expenses, and transportation. If you do live in one of the states with older majority ages, you might call your local non-emergency police station and see if they would take a runaway report for you due to your age. If police in your area would take a runaway report for you, it is possible you could be returned home if found.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation, have questions, or need resources. We are here 24/7.

      Best of luck to you,

      NRS

  • I'm 17 and I've made plan to leave my home because my father have many expectations with me which Im not able fulfill and I can't see him like this..

    Comment


    • Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

      It sounds like you have already made a plan to leave your home. While we are not legal experts, a couple of things to think about is that because you are a minor, if your dad files a runaway report you could be returned home. Some departments don't take runaway reports for 17 year olds, especially if you are very close to turning 18, so one thing you could do to find that out is to contact your local non-emergency number and inquire about that. Another thing is that while running away is not a crime, there could be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a minor.

      Don't hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) so that we can action plan some of your options or connect you with the resources you might need like shelters or hotline numbers.

      Good luck,

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • Im from Toronto, Ontario. I came into the states to live with my dad, I’m 18 and Border Patrol said that by the laws of the State of Indiana I couldn’t leave my dad until I am 25 meanwhile every others 18 year olds can move out and live on their own, can someone clarify this for me. I want to leave and go live on my own.

        Comment


        • Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts but from what we know, in the state of Indiana the age in which a person can move out without permission is 18. You can look on (sexetc.org) to find out the age of majority for each state. We aren't sure why the Border Patrol told you that the laws of the state is 25 but that is incorrect. If you have any other questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat. We hope this information helps, and we wish you the best of luck.
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • Hi I really don’t want to talk about my life online but I’m going through a lot right now and was wondering if I wanted to leave where would I go how can I get on my feet all alone?

            Comment


            • Reply: Hi I really don’t want to talk ....

              Hello,
              Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

              We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
              Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn.
              We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

              We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.
              If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
              Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

              Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
              NRS is here to listen and here to help.
              We hope to hear from you soon.

              Take care,
              NRS

              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • I need help

                I'm 18 and I have 3 brothers age 10, 2, and 1 years old I also have a dad and step-mom they always make me take care of the two little one like a parent should I have to give them baths make sure they eat change their diapers put themimabn bed and on top of that they make me clean the house I had to have to clean the house for around 8 years now I have to clean everybody's mess my parents and my brothers I'm basically their butler and I hate it they won't me to drive they say I can't get a job until im able to drive my parents treat my 10 year old brother a lot better than me I'm a good person and a lot of time if I don't clean something my parents yell at me for it and my 10 year brother beats up on me and I can't do anything about it because my parents tell me his 10 and your 18 so act like it and I can't stand it I've had my permit since I was 16 so I can't go no where's Im always at home I have absolutely no freedom how can I leave my parents house if I really want till leave but I'm scared because I have no vehicle or any money so what can I do?

                Comment


                • ccsmod2
                  ccsmod2 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear about the way your family has been treating you. It sounds like you are very hardworking and independent. You have been taking care of your siblings and cleaning your house for years. Since you are 18, you have the right to leave home without your parent's permission. You could ask a friend or family member if they would allow you to stay with them until you find a job and your own apartment. We could look into resources such as transitional living programs that provide housing and independent living skills. If you would like resources, please contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

              • I really want to leave. I’ve been screwing up since i was 15, lying, skipping school, using their credit cards for food and gas, smoking cigs and weed, everything a child shouldn’t do to a parent. I feel like I’ve lost control and i don’t wanna be there problem anymore. I don’t wanna be hastled around and controlled anymore. I want to live on my own, i feel it would help me better myself. My parents aren’t the problem even though they do add to it. The most they do is yell at me, call me a failure, make fun of me when i try and tell them maybe a therapist or life coach can help me straighten out my life, they tell me their sick of me using them for their money, and they sometimes make fun of my outburst when they yell at me and reprimand me. Do you think this is a good idea? I know there are a lot of people that blame the family for wanting to leave, but In my case I’m the problem. I can’t make the right decision. So i feel it’s best to leave and start my life for myself and maybe come around to them once i get better.

                Comment


                • Hi there,

                  Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and support.

                  It sounds like you've been thinking about this for awhile and want to start down a new track that you can call your own. Because you are 18, you are legally able to leave your home without repercussions of your parents filing a runaway report. If you need help finding programs that could provide you with housing, counseling and possible employment help, you can reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929 and we could look up those things for you. It can be hard to start fresh, but there are organizations out there that can help make the transition easier.

                  We are also here if you just want to go over your options and action plan with you your next step. Don't hesitate to reach out.

                  Best,

                  NRS
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • Hi ... Im 18 and i want to leave this house i dont have money but i dont feel safe here anymore can you please help?

                    Comment


                    • ccsmod5
                      ccsmod5 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hi,
                      Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a tough situation and we’re glad you reached out. You absolutely deserve to feel safe and supported at home, and it takes a lot of courage to try to get to a safer situation. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking if you are 18 you’re a legal adult and are free to leave home with or without permission. While you’re still getting on your feet, you might consider staying with a friend or another family member. Another option that might be helpful to look into is a transitional living program, which is similar to a shelter but is more long term. These programs often provide help with getting a job or developing job skills, and are meant to help you get on your feet. If you give us a call at 1-800-786-2929, we can try to help you locate a program in your area. Best of luck to you and we hope things work out. Stay strong!
                      NRS

                  • Hi my name is Derrick I'm 18 and dealing with drama of my mother who thinks 18 isn't legally an adult she stresses me out she accuses my girlfriend family of being the problem when all my girlfriend is trying to do is help me I'm sick and tired of my mom's bull she is always lieing to me she kicked my 29 year old brother off the property awhile back because he was homeless and snapped on mom he has done nothing but to try and help her but she always pushes him away like she always has she thinks she is queen bee and runs my life she thinks because I'm under her roof I'll do as I'm told screw that I'm 18 and I'm ready to do me I'm a junior in high school next year I only have 2 classes and I'm done for my senior year my mom expects the world from me I get a check but I never get to use or touch it it gets blown in a day because of her and sometimes while I'm gone at my girlfriends she's at home but as soon as I come home she leaves and stays gone days on end it's just not fair she wants me to do so much yet she won't let me I hate living with someone who won't help them self my mom does nothing but lie to me about everything she lies to her self my girlfriend family are good awesome people she always accuses me of being with them more than her well with her parents I don't deal with the stuff I do at home her parents are great they love me and told me awhile back I'm welcome anytime I can't stand it anymore I'm sick and tired of being a slave and a walking piggy bank for a no good lieing mother who cares about no one but her self

                    Comment


                    • ccsmod5
                      ccsmod5 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hi, thank you for reaching out to us! We’re sorry to hear about the difficult situation you’re dealing with, it sounds like you’re really unhappy being at home with your mom and want to become more independent; that’s very mature. It seems like you have a great support system at your girlfriend’s which is always a good back-up plan if you want to get out of the house for a little bit. It’s really unfair for your mom to take away money that you’ve earned through hard work, while still expecting a lot from you. It’s also unfair that she lies about a lot of things and only thinks of herself; that must be extremely frustrating. Since you’re 18, and that the age of majority in most states, you can leave and not get into legal trouble. If you want to talk more about that, or help with figuring out what to do you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re toll free and 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
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