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  • #76
    Re: im 18 and im leaving home

    Hello There!

    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It is a great first step to find the information and help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. It is not very easy to cope with fighting with parents . You are so strong for handling it for so long already.
    It is difficult to answer if you could be okay financially. Only you know your situation best. Having a job, money saved, or having an agreement with you friend or their family to what extent they are able to help you out with other finances. Managing money is a stressful task, but you can do this. Maybe start with an excel sheet to account for month expenses versus each check you receive and their amounts .Y ou could also try to look into the option of FAFSA loan/grant options to help with attending college. Maybe a school counselor or adviser can help you navigate this with you.
    If you would like to talk more, please live chat with us or call us at 1800-RUNAWAY.
    Best Wishes,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #77
      I'm fruatrated can't take anymore

      My mother is jealous of me I'm 18 and I can't even get to see my boyfriend she has a problem with everything can't even see him once a week. I'm working and she wants $100 to buy meat which I'm not suppose to be doing I used to have to look after her daughter which is my step sister and if I don't do it that's a problem thank God I no longer do that with the shift I'm working on. I want to further my studies but I can't do that under all this frustration she cusses me for no reason also I sweep the house everyday and she still has a problem she lies a lot I can go stay at my boyfriend's parents house but I don't want to be rude to anyone I would like to know what measures I can't take. I seriously can't Go through this longer

      Comment


      • #78
        RE: I'm fruatrated can't take anymore

        Hello there,
        Thanks for posting on the National Runaway Safeline forum.
        We’re so sorry for how you’ve been feeling lately. It sounds very frustrating to be limited so much by your mother. It sounds like you’re a mature individual that should be able to spend your time responsibly with your boyfriend. It sounds like you contribute a lot to the household by watching the child and doing chores, it seems unfair to have to pay money on top of that.
        We’re not legal experts here, but it seems like if you’re 18 you could be legally allowed to leave your home. Can you think of any friends that might be able to go in on an apartment with you? Can you think of any friends or relatives that might let you move in with them? It’s great that you have a job to handle some expenses, it might be time to consider saving some of your earnings for a future move. If financial constraints might keep you from moving out, you could also look into low cost or government subsidized housing. To learn more about that, please visit www.HUD.gov.
        If moving sounds like a struggle at this time, we could also help by providing support via a conference call with your mother. We could try to make sure your voice is heard and talk to your mother with you on the line about rules of the household. We’d try our best to make sure some kind of compromise could be achieved. We’re available 24/7 here in our Crisis Center at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
        Best of luck!
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #79
          My life is so stressful right now!

          I'm 17 years old and I'll be 18 in a week. I live with my Guardian, with her daughter and her partner. They took me in when my brother kicked me out of his house. I don't have a job the the moment but I help them with thier jobs. I'm trying my hardest to find a job. I really want a full time job where I could make more money for myself but they said I only can have weekend jobs so I can still help them clean houses and I don't even get paid, only once in a while. I don't moan and I don't even have attitude problems because I am grateful for what they do for me. They feed me and they give me hot water and a bed. They've been having money problems lately and they can't afford to pay any extras. And I was being told that I can't spend my money because they can't afford anything! I wanted to take a trip to see my friend who is pregnant and living alone but I can't go. And I'd already be 18 by then. Things were going fine at home, until I got really uncomfortable. My guardian got really drunk one night and went bizarre with everyone. She threw my laptop on the ground,she threw her daughter and partner out the house. I got really scared! So not every time she touches a drink, I get scared because it might happen again. My boyfriend is coming over later next month and he wants to go for a holiday in December to Greece.

          I really want to leave now after I'm 18 and start college in September, but I don't think they would let me live on my own, because they think I can't look after myself. I've learnt so many things while I was in the UK and I am very independent. I'm feeling so uncomfortable in this house and I don't fit in with them. I'm really grateful for what they've done for me, but now I just want to leave and just be independent.

          Can you help me please?
          Thank you kindly x

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello and thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve tried to make the most of your situation and while grateful of your guardian, you are now hoping to move on to more independent living options. Please know we are not here to judge you or tell you what to do. We care about your safety and you deserve to feel safe inside the home. Your guardian’s behavior after she got drunk sounds like it really impacted you and it’s understandable you’d be scared it might happen again. One resource you might find helpful is Alateen which can offer support to friends and families of problem drinkers. More information can be found on their website, http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/for-alateen.

            With so close to go until you are 18, it sounds like you plan on waiting to leave after you are 18 and starting college. At the same time, it seems like there are concerns with your guardian and her partner not believing you can look after yourself. We have a database of runaway and homeless youth shelters as well as transitional living programs. If we know your city/state, and gender we can search for the closest resources to you. Your focus now seems to be finding a place where you fit in and can work on your independence. If you’d like to continue discussing your situation, we invite you to try out our Live Chat (instant messaging) which opens today at 4:30pm CST. Hopefully this helps give you a start and we wish you the best of luck!

        • #80
          Hi. My name is Jae. I'm aost 18. I live in an emotional and physical abusive household. I'm going to leave the day I turn 18. I'm stressed about the whole concept but I'm ready to do it. Now how can I get my information from them before I leave. What I mean by this is, birth certificate, social security card, shot records, etc. My father has my stuff in a safe and I want it before I leave. Now if I can't however, is it illegal for him to hold my information when I'm over 18? If he doesn't give me the information, can I get it back from him by law?

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi Jae,

            Based on what you shared, your birth documents are in your dad's safe. So that means you may not be able to get it out of his safe unless he gives it to you. Unless you know the password, there may not be a way to get those documents before you leave. If that is the case, then you would need to go to the local court records office and get additional copies of that information. If you have questions about that process, you can cal your local vital records office in your city.

            Best of luck,
            NRS

        • #81
          I'm 18 years old and I want to move out. I've been living with my Guardian for nearly 8 months now and I just want to be on my own. My brother kicked me out when I was 17 years old. So my cousin, who was my Guardian, took me in. I'm very grateful for what all she's done for me, but I don't feel so comfortable in the house. And I can't be independent. I'm always getting texts asking where I am, who I'm with, am I on the bus yet to come home. And it's driving me insane. I can't even go into town without them knowing where I'm going and who I'm with. I'm 18 years old now and I know what I'm doing. I'm not a bad person. I go straight to work and then come straight home. I've recently looked online for rooms to rent, because I only have a part time job, I only can afford a room to rent. I haven't told her yet because I'm afraid she might go off on me. I have a viewing this week and she might ask where I'm going or what I'm doing.
          Im really confident to leave but I just don't know how to tell her I want to leave.

          Comment


          • ccsmod14
            ccsmod14 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

            It sounds like your cousin has been a great support to you in your life. Sorry to hear that she has been infringing on your independence. It’s good that you are confident in taking this next step in your life. You’re welcome to call us and we could role play a conversation between you and your cousin.
            Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

            http://www.1800runaway.org/


            Take care,

            NRS

        • #82
          I am 18 and i want to run away from my home. I dont know what will i do or where will i go?I just cant bear this frustration anymore.I feel like I m nithing to them and i feel worthless and helpless.Literally many times I thought i should just die.What should i do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello and thanks for reaching out to us on our forum. It sounds like you are trying to figure out a way to leave home at age 18. Please keep in mind we are not legal experts; however, in many places you would legally be allowed to leave home at 18. That said, we recognize it can be difficult figuring out a plan including where you will live and how you will support yourself.

            You mentioned how you feel like you are nothing and feel worthless which seems like it would be pretty lonely. It also sounds like you’re at a breaking point and we want you to know we are here to listen and provide support to the best of our ability. There is additional support out there if you are thinking about dying. If you are in the United States, there is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. If you are located in another country, there is http://www.befrienders.org/.

            We invite you to try out our Live Chat later today starting at 1pm CST if you’d like to continue talking about your situation and hopefully come up with a plan. We hope you’re able to keep yourself safe and wish you the best of luck!

        • #83
          17 and just waiting

          hi , I'm a 17 year old from Indiana and I really don't enjoy my current living situation, I live with my mother and two brothers and my mom doesn't trust me worth a bit. And this is only because of my grades. My grades aren't the best but they did land me an admission to one of my favorite colleges. Now when Summer hits and I graduate I will still be 17. My birthday is July 3rd. I really want to take that opportunity to branch off and possibly move out for the summer until college starts in the fall . Now I would be more the happy to take the alternative and just have a sit down with my mother and talk out details of house rules and not child rules. I am an adult, I would like to be treated and respected like one. But I feel like that conversation will only end in yelling, and me running out, and me having to deal with all the responsibilities of an adult and not being able to start school because I can't take out student loans by myself or I'm in need of my mothers cooperation and she'll only do that if I come home . I really want to know what my options are and how I should go about this transition in my life . I have lined up places to stay if I do choose to leave home for the summer. I have a steady job but plan on getting a better one so I can make a decent amount of money . I just really at the end of the day want to be able to go out with some friends, maybe later than 10:00,maybe longer than an hour and a half, and maybe without the cops being called to take me back home. I wanted to be treated as an individual, and not as a dependent.

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,

            Thanks for reaching out. Congratulations on getting into a college you like. Sounds like you want to move out before you turn 18. Negotiating new rules and boundaries with parents as a young adult can be challenging for everyone involved. It is natural and understandable to want more independence and to be able to hang out with your friends when you want. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. Until July 3rd when you turn 18, you are still considered a minor, which means if you move out without your mom's permission, she can involve the police and have you brought back home. After your birthday, you are legally free to choose where you live and make those decisions for yourself. This goes both ways, meaning that once you are 18 your mother has no legal or financial obligations to you any more. It sounds like you are concerned that you may lose financial support from your mom, which is a big concern since you are college bound and can't take out loans for yourself. Sitting down with your mom to talk about renegotiating house rules sounds like a good plan, and it doesn't have to end with screaming and loss of support. It could help to write down what you want to say ahead of time, or ask your mom what actions you could take to earn her trust so you can spend more time with friends. If you need to talk about your situation, don't hesitate to give us a call or chat with us online. We are looking forward to hearing from you, and wish you the best of luck.

        • #84
          Hello I'm 18 & my boyfriend is 20 . I want to leave my house and move in with him but my parents don't let me leave. Am I able to call the cops and let them know? It's stressful being here.

          Comment


          • ccsmod8
            ccsmod8 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,

            Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you're in a stressful situation, and it's great that you're reaching out to find answers about what to do next. We are not legal experts, but since you are 18, you are considered a legal adult. This means that if you were to leave home, your parents would not be able to file a runaway report or force you to return home, and the state would view you as an adult. You can ask your local police force what they can do about the situation by calling their non-emergency number and asking. If you do not feel comfortable doing so, you can go ahead and give us a call, and we would be able to call the police station with you and help you figure this out.

            Have you talked to your parents about how you feel living at home? As you are legally an adult, there would be no legal issues for you leaving home, However, it sounds like there is a lot going on between you and your parents, so if you want to try and talk to them about the situation, we can certainly help you with the process.

            If you have any questions, or want assistance on finding resources or on following through with any of what was previously mentioned, please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7 confidential hotline. We also have a live chat available from 4:30pm-11:30pm CST. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do.

        • #85
          I have really thought about this and im ready to just leave. im in my last week of senior year about to graduate. i struggle w severe depression. my boyfriend is someone my parents dont approve, but i am 18 now. but i also live under their roof, but i gave them the phone and the car and everything they pay for so that i could leave. i know im young but this giy is a person i truly care about & i know how i feel and i feel as if i just need to pack a bag and go and just be happy.

          Comment


          • #86
            Hey there,

            Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot and home life is getting too hard and your parents aren’t being very accepting or supportive.

            Since you are 18 you are considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving is a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. It sounds like your boyfriend is giving you a really good source of support. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best. We hope to hear from you soon.

            Be safe, NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #87
              I am 15 and I wanna leave my home as my parents fight a lot and they even have a good reason to fight. My father understands me but my mom always blames me for my father and her fight. She is full of arrogance. I can't bear it anymore. She doesn't even want to understand anything.help me out

              Comment


              • ccsmod9
                ccsmod9 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi, there! Thanks so much for writing us. It sounds like things are pretty challenging for you at home right now. Sorry to hear that things are tough for you at home with your mom. It is awesome to learn that you have a sense of support through your dad. It seems like you see running away as a way for you to escape your mom’s harsh treatment and all of the arguing.

                Running away is not without consequences such as a) your parents filing a runaway report alerting police nationwide that you left, b) those who help you being charged harboring a runaway, or c) struggling to meet your basic needs such as food, shelter, and safety. Typically the police return youth back home when they do run. Your decision is entirely up to you, and it is important for you to think through what makes the most sense. If you would like, please chat or call us so that we can explore your options with you.

                Best,

                NRS

            • #88
              I am gonna turn 18 do I have to have a license before I can leave my home and do as I please?

              Comment


              • ccsmod10
                ccsmod10 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thanks for reaching out! So when you turn 18, you'll be a legal adult. Which means you'll be able to choose where you live, regardless if you have a license! If you need help planning where you're going to live once you move out, we can help you brain storm some options. We also have databases of youth shelters and living placements if you're not able to stay with friends or family. You're not alone in this!

                Our hotline is open 24/7 at 1(800) RUNAWAY

                Stay safe, NRS

            • #89
              Hello

              I'm currently 18 turning 19 next month. I want to leave my parents house and I'll do anything to leave. I am fed up with my parents arguing, my moms complaining, manipulating behavior, and her thinking nothing is ever good enough for her. She emotionally abusive. I'm tired of my dad not saying anything or doing anything. He just sits there and takes it. I guess he pity's her. I wish they would divorce but I guess my dad takes pity on her because he doesn't know where she'll go. But honestly, I couldn't care less.

              Both me and my 2 brothers are fed up with living at home. We all want out. But they have different mind sets from me I guess.

              I graduated high school recently. I graduated on June 4th, 2017. I don't have my learners permit, or license because I've been in my own world, I never got them. But I plan on get my learners permit though, soon.

              I have been looking for a job so I can save money and move out but I haven't heard anything from anyone. I guess it's from my no experience in anything in job world or maybe it's because I don't want to call them place, and tell them I put in a job application. Either way, nothing has came through.

              I've hit rock bottom. I don't know what to do. I just want to leave the state I am in. I want to move to another state but on both my parents' sides of their family, I don't know or talk to any of them, so I'm basically stuck in this hell hole. I don't know how much more I can take.

              I would go stay with my bestfriend, but they're currently in foster care. I don't have any friends out of state either.

              Is there place out-of-state I can stay until I find a job or? Is there any jobs out there, out-of-state that will hire me with no experience? I just want to get out of here. I'm desperate.

              Please give me some advice or help.

              Comment


              • ccsmod6
                ccsmod6 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi,

                Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. We are so sorry to hear about your parents arguing and your mom's emotional abuse. You definitely do not deserve to be abused and it is disappointing that your dad does not say anything about it. It sounds like you've been trying your hardest to get a job and move forward, and you should be really proud of that. Getting a job is a hard thing to do, but eventually some place will hire you.

                In most states at the age of 18 you can leave home without your parents' permission. It's always good to plan out what you would do if you left, though. It seems like you do not have anyone you can realistically stay with long term which may make moving out harder for you. An option you do have is a shelter. If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can talk to you about what you're going through and give you some shelter resources around your area. We can give you shelter resources out of state too, but an important thing to think about when thinking of living out of state is how you would get there. When it comes to a job you can always contact your local Job Corps to see what options they may have that can work for you.

                If you need anything else please don't hesitate to reach out again! You can call us at the aforementioned number. We are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help in the best way that we can. We wish you the best of luck with everything!

            • #90
              I am 18 years old, from Nebraska, graduated high school two years early, and currently live with an uncle. I am ready to leave home, and I have somewhere to stay ,but I don't want to end up in jail. If I leave, will I go to jail as a runaway?

              Comment


              • ccsmod6
                ccsmod6 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi,

                Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. It's awesome that you graduated high school two years early! That is something you should be really proud of. It seems like in Nebraska the age of majority is 19 years old. This means that you could be considered a runaway if you leave home at the age of 18. Your guardian could go to your local police department and file a runaway report for you. Running away is not illegal, but it is considered a status offense. So you would not get into any legal trouble for running away or get arrested, but you would be brought back home if the police found you.

                Considering you are so close to the age of majority and have graduated high school early there is a chance that the police will not take a runaway report for you. You could call out to your local non-emergency police department's number and ask them whether or not they would take a runaway report for you.

                If you want any more help or just want to talk, you can always feel free to reach out to us again. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help you in the best way that we can.

                We wish you the best of luck with everything!
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