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  • I am almost 18 years old. After I turn 18 can I legally leave without my parents telling me I can't? I'm living in a very toxic household where there is nothing but yelling and screaming at each other. My aunt and uncle offered to take me in to live with them until I'm out of high school. My parents (mostly my dad) keeps telling me that I'm not allowed to leave because I'll still be in high school but I know thats not true. I have been mentally and emotionally abused my my parents the past 4 years and I'm fed up with it and just want to leave. All they want is control over me. They have put me down so many times. They judge me on my decisions for my life. They aren't accepting of me because I'm bi. I just wish I could leave right now. I have never had a job because they have told me no numerous times and told me that I'm not ready but I am. I have never been out with friends because I always have to babysit my brother and sister. They have taken control of my social media and changed all of my passwords. I have to do cyber school because they want me home all of the time. Basically the farthest I can go is to the library up the street from me because I volunteer there. Its just so frustrating that they think they can control me and I want to prove to them that they can't. Its just so hard to deal with. I've been told numerous times "go kill yourself" by them as they know I've tried in the past multiple times. I just need advice on things please.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your parents have been treating you in such a callous and abusive manner. You must be incredibly resilient to have put up with their behavior for so long. Once you turn 18, so long as you are not in Nebraska, Alabama, or Mississippi, you will be allowed to leave and live wherever you please. It sounds like your aunt and uncle would be a good change of pace, and you could opt to live there with or without your dad’s permission once you are 18. You seem like a hardworking and good natured person and you deserve a little more freedom in your life. If you want to talk about friends or finding a job, we would be happy to brainstorm with you ways to approach those kinds of situations. If you have any other questions or issues you want to talk about, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

  • want to leave my home.

    Hello I'm 19.and I hate my mother my father my sister I hated them all.i wanted to give medical exam n they r forcing me to get admission in other course coz last time I didn't get good marks. But medical is my dream and I wanna being an mbbs. And they thought that I'm dumb I can't be a doctor. They harassed me mentaly by there words. Even my elder sis won't help. She though the same.and they tell me to do something simple and easy. But easy is not an option. I can't sacrifice my dream for an easy. I hated them. They are not good parents. They don't support me. I want to go somewhere .i don't know where I have to go. I want to do study for medical exam. I'm sick of them.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

  • I am 18. I am finally in a community college with a great transfer program and also another program that pays money for doing good in school (its hard to get into this program). I am planning to study business, and finally found that with my financial aid, I am able to get full scholarship and also study business (which I enjoy). Though this to my Muslim parents is not good enough. I have tried to commit suicide many times due to the pressure they always give me about how I am not a good daughter (which For REAL I have never smoke, drink, nor even had a boyfriend) and that they always praise my sister who is in a program that wasn't there in my year, which again IT WASN'T IN MY YEAR! yet my parents say that I am always dumb and don't work hard and literally hangout with friends all the time. COULD I TELL YOU THE OPPOSITE! I work at my job 4 days a week, I wake up mornings at 7 or 10 (depends on the class) and stay in the campus until 7:30 pm doing homework and literally having no friends at my campus, except for my one Muslim friend which I see twice every week. Yet I also got all A's for my progress reports. Today, I went to my "dream university" or that's what my dad says (because again I cant go to any other college because of my religion)and saw so many Muslim community living in campus, and thought that I wanted to do that. Which I can due to my full scholarship that pays for my dorm. The trip finished and drooped us back to our campus, and I decided to catch up with the homework that I missed classes for today. I then went home, showed my dad my opportunity to getting higher chances for my dream university. Yet my mom interferes and tells my dad how I don't help in the house, and don't study hard. Which dead ass I almost wanted to go to the bathroom and start to cut myself due to the stress I have always at home. Which is another reason why I come home late.
    I want to live normal, I want to have my own dorm, study abroad, study really hard, and finally not being depressed at home and wanting to kill myself due to my parents. But I really want to move out, and my parents are very strict, what should I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time. Congratulations on getting into a program that can help you pay for college. Regardless of all the stress and hardships you are going through it seems like you are not letting anything come between you and your goals. It’s unfortunate that your parents don’t recognize how hard you are working towards your goals and what you have accomplished so far. You don’t deserve to have someone calling you dumb or anything besides your name. You are smart and capable and no one should be making you feel less than what you are! If you ever need to talk to someone about why you are depressed and get the support you are lacking at home text NAMI at 741741.
      Also you mentioned that you have tried to commit suicide several times and have thoughts of suicide due to how you are treated at home. You are very brave for mentioning this. It can be tough to talk about something so personal. If you ever want to talk to someone about this like you did today or when you having those low moments contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-8255. Also if you want help with not cutting yourself and learning new ways to cope with pain the stress you are experiencing every day you can contact SAMHSA at 1800-622-HELP for a referral to a therapist or contact NAMI to talk to someone. You can also reach out to your friends, family or speak with the guidance counselor at your school. It’s important to talk to your support systems about what is going on so that they too and discuss some options with you. Maybe you could stay with a friend or family member temporarily. You can always contact us and get some information on shelters or transitional living programs. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out to us at 1800-Runaway.

  • I will be 18 in 3 months, and I am not happy living in this house full of negativity. However, my mom has told me she has custody of me until i graduate high school. I believe when im 18 and still in school, i can still move out. is that true?

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your living situation has gotten to the point where you feel like you need to leave. Custody/guardianship usually does not have anything to do with school. Unless you are in Mississippi (21), Alabama (19), or Nebraska (19), once you turn 18 you are entitled to live wherever you please. If you want, you can verify this by calling your local police non-emergency number. There are cases where the parents of people who have special needs or who may require assistance living can extend guardianship over a youth for a variable amount of time, but if you do not identify with those issues, it is extremely unlikely that that would be the case. If you want to talk in greater detail about your situation, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • [QUOTE= don't feel bad i am 17 and my mom emotional abuses me , she threatened me over my boyfriend she dont want me having no contact with him because i snuck out , i really love him and i wanna run away but i got probation on me until i turn 18 ,and that is 10 months from now , well i don't have the ankle bracelet , but im scared in going home because i don't wanna go to jail over the thing i done. My mother wants to take away my money and my car so i wont get an actual job and get emancipated , so i think im in a bad situation your 18 you can move out , i'm gonna tell you what my granny tells me bite the battery you have to deal with the pain until the time is up. And thats what im gonna have to do, i know i sound crazy over the things i said on here but its life. And i actually see the 10 months coming fast i mean its already october and my birthday is in august.

    so if you ever need someone to talk to im right here .
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 10-07-2019, 04:31 PM. Reason: identifying info

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.

      Thank you,

      NRS

  • i’m 18, my parents control me. both my dad and step mom work all the time and so i’m consistently babysitting my younger brother. they barely talk to me and they treat me more like their nanny than their own daughter. i get fed mcdonald’s more than i can count on one hand in half a week because they don’t ever really make dinner. the only thing stopping me is the fact they don’t have anyone else to watch my brother but i feel like that’s not my responsibility if my mental health is crap and i feel suffocated. i packed my suitcase i’ve just been debating. if i leave i’m not telling them i’m moving until i leave. i’m just going to walk out when they are sleeping which could cause problems but if i tell them i’m leaving that’s going to cause a big argument. i currently don’t have my license because my dad is lazy and hasn’t taken me anywhere since we moved. he’s been telling me no to hanging out with people through the day when all he does is sleep and has no reason to tell me no. please help. is moving out a bad decision? i have a place to go and all i do is cry at home but my anxiety is so bad that if i leave i might break down but being here is so unhealthy

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are having a tough time at home. It must be hard having so much responsibility placed on you and not having time to unwind or do things you want to do. It is understandable that you want to leave the household. Since you are 18 you are considered an adult. If you choose to leave the household legally you can. It’s really your choice how you want to move forward since you are the expert in your situation. If you want to talk through your options further, you can contact us at 1800-RUNAWAY. It’s good that you have a place to stay and you are thinking about safe places and how you would support yourself on your own. If you ever want to talk to someone or feel like you are in a crisis situation and need to talk it through contact NRS or you can contact NAMI at 1800-950-NAMI.Best of luck!

  • Hi
    I'm six months from turning 18 and since I hit 7th grade, my parents have been threatening to kick me out of their house at 18 if I don't stop "going down the same path" as my older sister.
    For some context, years ago, the family had had issues with our big sister, where she was running away, involved with drugs and alcohol, kept claiming mental health issues with psychiatrists etc, despite having straight A's in school, basically making life really hard on our mom and stepdad, even though she was on track of her dream of being a nurse and living a better life than our parents did. We're Cuban-American. Long story short, she reported our parents for abuse in high school. My older brother, my little sister, and I got taken by CPS, who separated us with no warning, and cycled us around families for about a month. We weren't taken good care of at all, unfortunately. Our parents had been through a rough time, being jailed, brought to court, forced to take anger management classes, my mom says she had really bad depression and suicidal thoughts a the time, plus they almost went broke used saved-up money to get themselves cleared, and got us back. All in a month, while I was still in elementary school.

    Things have never been the same since. They obviously were traumatized by that experience, and so were we. My older sister ended up getting her GED, and since then, has been slowly changing her life around, she is trying to get her AA degree. My brother is currently in grad school, he did almost the complete opposite of what my older sister had done. I'm extremely influenced by my older siblings and learn from them what I can. They've blessed me with very nice gifts and have always been there to help me better myself, even when I resisted. I've never done drugs, never ran away, always scored great on tests in school, I've just never been good at homework and keeping good grades. I have mild anxiety, some procrastination habits, and can be disorganized but am great socially, have passed all my major tests with good marks each time, and can actually clean pretty well. I love music, art, dance, languages, and cultures. I did cause bad issues in middle school including talking to strangers online - which i've since learned the dangers of - attempting to please others/my parents to the point of lying about what I planned on doing with my life/career, and still have issues with time-management, self-esteem/image, and talking about my problems.

    My parents have tried to 'talk' with me, brought me to psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, etc. It barely helped me, and only increased their suspicion and monitoring of me. During my first two highschool years, I was getting mostly average to below-average grades but severe issues talking with my parents and making mistakes, and they proceeded to send me away to a 30-day shelter twice, and even to Salus Care, where the doctor on-site had evaluated me, heard me out, and told me I was actually a pretty normal kid, just falling short in school. My mom still thinks I'm the abusive, manipulative, and bad-intentioned one in the family, as she says "Just like my father", who was all of those things. I've never asked for that horrible man, never tried looking for him, never cared about him, but I always break-down and cry when she compares me to him and my older sister in the past. I try to be pretty normal, with a boyfriend that I care about, friends that I care about, and I've been doing after-school programs (Thespians, Dance Club/Team, Chorus) to have good things to put on my school transcript. I even have a varsity letter from doing swimming my first year. My gpa is just-barely good enough to still go to college, I am already planning on taking out loans so I can earn a Bachelor's in Foreign Language, and minor in Dance, Music, and Art. I signed up for the SAT. I really really have big plans for a better life, but because my grades aren't good, my parents keep disowning me and telling me they will never support me, they are kicking me out at 18. I've even been trying to get a job so I can have some money they can't take from me like they did with my birthday money (although they even manipulated me and forced me to use - my birthday money- $40 to get to my Choir Concert, where I performed as a Soprano) right after I offered and bought the whole family some cases of water with $20 simply because I felt like it would be nice to help out while I had the money to do so. I've also been stuck using a government-provided minute phone and they even took that from me too. Now I have a theater performance they are aware of coming up, and they said if I go, I better have a place to stay, either outside or with someone else. They are literally threatening to kick me out/report me as a run-away if I choose to fulfill my commitment to Thespians and go perform my parts at the performance. What can I do about this? Can they really report me when they really know where I'll be? Should I risk going and getting reported or risk pulling out of after-school programs and missing my parts at this performance/dance team/choir? I'm still 17, but if I take my things and live with someone else until I can live on my own, can they report me and ruin my chances of getting away from them and going to college? What can I do to get hired/make money they can't take? How can I get a good phone on my own?
    Thank you

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to us, it takes a lot of courage to talk about what you are going through with your parents. You do not deserve to be treated so unfairly by your parents like that, especially since you try your hardest in the things that interests you and know what you have to do in order to do well. For you to still love and do the things you love is such a huge characteristic of a strong individual.
      It must be tough and very frustrating to think about the outcomes of what can happen if you do decide to your theatre performance. We are here to help. We are not legal experts but if you do decide to go to this event and your parents do file some type of report, the police is just going to do their job and make sure you are safe and bring you back home. You, however, will not get in any trouble with the police for making this decision. It is great that you are looking into different alternatives, like moving in with friend or relative, but if they do file a report, you can put at risk whoever you are staying with because it is seen as a misdemeanor to harbor a runaway or they will get fined, unless your parents approve you staying there.
      You mentioned wanting to find a job and start making some money on your own. That’s great thinking and such an amazing step you are taking in becoming more independent, it can be really hard to take that step and you show great initiative. If you do not exactly know yet what you would like to do, we have this resource you can look into called JobCorps. You can go on their website at https://www.jobcorps.gov/, it is a job training program that helps youth find the skills and education to find the job you are interested in. Some also great websites to check out can be Indeed.com which is website that shows what jobs are hiring in your area. If you want more resources or just someone to talk to, do not hesitate to call us at (1-800)-786-2929 or send us a chat at www.1800runaway.org. We are here for you and here to help you.

      Best of luck,
      NRS
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