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im 18 and im leaving home

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  • So I turned 18 last semester when I started my first year of college. Me and my parents got along but college didn’t work out and I ended up wasting a lot of there money. For a while I lived in an apartment (payed by them) with my boyfriend while I was in college but I had absolutely no drive to go to school anymore. I hated every second of it so I ended up not passing my second semester and they just now forced me to move back home. Living with my boyfriend was the happiest I’ve ever been. He is my best friend, my rock, my motivation, and we both 100% see ourselves getting married and we cannot stand living apart. But he now lives 3 hours away from me, all my parents do is criticize me and me relationship and my life decisions, and I didn’t want to live with them in the first place because they’re extremely conservative and I’m an atheist. They don’t consider 18 to be adult whatsoever and continue to pry into my life and treat me like a child. I have plans for my future to go into real estate and cosmetology school but living away from me boyfriend and living under there roof has been so hard on me that I don’t even want to leave my bedroom. And they act like moving away from him wasn’t hard on me when we literally lived together for months. My boyfriend lives at his dads and I’ve lived there with him before as well and his dad loves me and tells me I’m always welcome whenever I need a place and all I ever want to do anymore is get in my car and go live there with him. But I’m stuck feeling like I HAVE to stay here because they wasted money on me going to college. Help

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a really stressful situation right now. We are glad that you decided to reach out to us at this time.

      It sounds like you are having a difficult time with your parents. You are and adult and you have the right to make your own decisions. Family counseling can be helpful in many situations. If you call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and they can provide any counseling resources. We also offer a conference call service where you can call us and us conference call with you and your parents and try to advocate for you. It sounds like you have boyfriend who cares about you and willing to let you stay there. Leaving home can be hard in many situations. Paying for expenses and getting a place to stay can be hard without have a stable job. It can be helpful to check with your boyfriend and his dad if you moving there for a long term basis would be fine with them. If it might be an option for you, you could also us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we can talk to you in detail, explore your options and provide any resources.

      You are acting strong in this stressful situation by reaching out for help before taking any steps. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.
      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Best,
      NRS

  • I’m 17 years old and I need help. I no longer want to be home because I feel like a prisoner. I’m not allowed to hang out with my friends and if I do my parents threaten me and emotionally blackmail me that I’m the reason they’re going to die soon. It’s heartbreaking to hear especially since they don’t trust me but I don’t do anything wrong. It’s ruining a lot of my friendships because I make lame excuses to not socialize with them all because I barely leave my house, or even better yet my room. I get yelled at all the time by my parents that I’m a failure and they yell hurtful things at me and my siblings do as well. I’ve only been allowed out of my house twice this summer and only for about an hour each and that too I have to send my parents pictures of proof of where I am. Even when I’m upset and really want to talk to a friend I get in trouble. I can’t text so much in front of them, answer calls, or even just hang out with my friends at my own house. I’m living in my own deppression and this emotional abuse is too much to handle. I’ve rounded so many friendships and now I’m left with nothing but my four walls to talk to. I need help. I went to make an appointment with a psychologist and my parents had a really big problem with it and so did my siblings. My mom wanted to come with me to talk to the psychologist and told her I was perfectly fine. She talked to me alone but I’m not regularly allowed to see her. Every decision of my life is controlled even the universities I applied to were picked for me and the one I will be attending. I have no say in anything and I’m not allowed to drive. My house is my prison I need help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there

      Thanks for reaching out to us. We know how hard it can be to ask for help, but we’re glad you came to us since we’re here to help. It sounds like you’re having a really hard time, and can imagine it has be very difficult to feel like you are a prisoner.

      There are things that might be able to help. You mentioned how being emotionally blackmailed and that they aren’t trusting you. It could help to try another conversation and just let them know exactly how you’re feeling. Another option and a service we offer here is conference calling. If you were to call us, we could have a conference call with you and your parents and try to help mediate. Sometimes people find this very useful. We are here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.
      It could help too to talk to the other adults that know your parents and you could relay how you’re feeling. That could help relay the message to your parents about how you’re doing. If there is a teacher or resource at school like a counselor that could help also. It sounds like you’ve tried with a therapist also, but your parents won’t let you talk alone with them. We could also provide you some therapist and psychology resources also if you call into us.

      Lastly, it can really help to take your mind off things with things like listening to music, watching movies, reading, or playing sports. You said your parents are not allowing time with friends, but some of these others things may help take your mind off things.

      Hopefully these are some helpful options, and remember we are here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.

      Best of luck!

  • I just turned 18 and I’m ready to leave here i live with my grandma she drinks a lot and my aunt is really sick but she’s mean to me a lot I’m not aloud to go out and do anything I’m always forced to stay home she tells me I’m not grown and that as long as i live under her roof I’ll be doing what she says i love talking to my mom but they don’t like me talking to my mom i don’t want to live with my mom i want to get out of here but i have no where to go i have to wait until I’m out of school to leave this is my last year of school

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about your situation and will do what we can to help.
      It seems like you are looking to leave home at 18. Typically the age of majority, or the legal age of an adult is 18. However, we are not legal experts and in some states this does vary. One helpful tool to check the age of majority in your state is https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/ . This website may be able to give you some helpful information about what is the legal age of an adult in your state. If you are still not old enough to be legally an adult your grandmother or your legal guardian may still be able to file a runaway report on you. This would possibly be a status offense and usually does not come with jail time or stay on your record. The police would usually return you home if they found you. If you are the legal age of an adult and would like to leave home before you finish that last year of school you may be able to find some shelters of transitional living programs in your area. We can try to help you locate those if you call in to our hotline at 1800-RUNAWAY, or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.
      We hope this information was helpful to you. We are a confidential agency that is open 24/7 and is toll free. We wish you the best.
      -NRS

  • M 18....m not allowed to choose my carrier....I want to be in commerce ...want to do bba...want to clear jmd entrance ....want to do job ......want to be in marketing line.....m not allowed to do so......m done with all this...I wanna leave home...but I m scared my father will file missing report...there should be legal procedure of leaving home...they have good will in society ....I m scared of all.this

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us. It appears you are having difficulties leaving home where you live, and we're upset to hear that this is compromising your independence. It appears that you have reached out to us from somewhere outside of the U.S., and as a result, we are unfamiliar with the laws that apply to you and we are unfamiliar with the legal systems of your nation. As a result, you may want to reach out to resources that service your country, as we are simply not equipped to do so.

      Best,
      NRS

  • I am 18 and things got really bad at home. I left and they always told me that if I left I would be cut off of insurance and they wouldn't cosign my loans for college. Now I know what college I want to go to and everything but I do not know what my next step is. My mother always handled that so I am lost. She filled out the FASFA papers, do they still apply to me? Should I contact the school and see what I should do? I am so lost, please help..

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there,
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.
      In terms of college financial resources and outreach, NRS is not an expert, but we can give you a general outlook on your options. First, once your FAFSA has been filed, a parent cannot nullify it. However, next time you want to file for FAFSA you may have issues putting in income tax and social security information that only your mother would have access to. If you were to contact the school, most schools have a bursar office with financial aid officers, people who understand what school financial aid resources are available to you, how to fill out your FAFSA in the future, and may be able to point you to additional financial support if available.

      If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
      We hope this information was helpful and take care.
      National Runaway Safeline
      info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

  • I've recently turned 18, and am a senior in high school. To put it in simple terms, I've never got along with my parents, and lately things have only gotten more stressful at home.
    My parents have only ever been physically and psychologically abusive, and I've attempted running away several times, only to come crawling back because of my forced dependency on them. I have a part-time job, however, I am not allowed to open a bank account, so therefore all my money is immediately deposited into my parents account instead. Meaning, I have no money whatsoever. I am not allowed to learn to drive. I'm not allowed out of the house without permission, even just to go check the mail. I have several location trackers embedded in my phone that I can't turn off, because they have set my phone up to link up to theirs- they get all my messages, photos, location, etc... I know that since I'm 18, I can move out or deny my parents such access to control my life, but even if I attempted once to stand for myself, I'd get beaten with a belt to submission.

    College is coming up, and personally, I wish to attend a local community college for the first two years while living in an apartment with some friends to split rent. However, my parents are planning to send me off to a University and make -me- pay the entirety of it. How am I even suppose to do that, when I'm not even allowed to have a bank account? When they've been stealing my money for the past two years? I know I could use this University to get out of the house, but I cannot bring myself to apply anywhere, as if I could pay for the application fee myself.

    I'm just trying to get out of my house as soon as I can at this point. If I'm not allowed to be a person in the house, then I'll figure out how to be one by myself. I just have no idea where to start. No where to go. No money, no transportation, no safe place where they can't find me. I'm so scared of them. I'm so tired of getting black eyes and bloody noses and I'm tired of the mental damage it has given me. I've always been a good kid and a good student but lately my depression has made me do impulsive things to make me feel better, which has only gotten me in even more trouble at home. I'm getting very desperate to leave. But I'm too scared to leave.

    I'm thankful for any advice, please. Thank you for your time.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation. We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further and more in depth about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.
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