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  • im 18 and im leaving home

    I'm eighteen years old and things are so bad at home, I'm ready to leave. I've thought about my decision for a long time, and I plan to leave . I have didnt tell my mom I don't want to live under the roof anymore, but can she call the cops and report me as a missing person. However, I want to know if this is possible (and legal). my mother dont pay any attention to me she go out and party 24/7 shes layed up with different man. she put her son on, meaning im always with him i cant go out i cant do nothing hes stressing me out i was in a car accident she wont give me my money and i get ssi she told them i dont live with her anymore and they give her more money i tred to get the checks in my name and i cant. im still in high school my last year i was planing on staying with my boyfriend till i get on my feet. another thing i want to know can she discharge me from school because shes mad. can she look for me and hurt me.

  • #2
    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard during this difficult time. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and we’re glad that you have reached out for additional assistance. While we aren’t legally trained here, we can definitely try to find you some additional resources.

    It sounds like you are currently living with your mom but you want to leave, is that correct? We are sorry to hear your mom doesn’t pay any attention to you and that you are responsible for her son. It seems like this is a frustrating situation for you.

    You mentioned that you had been in a car accident and had been receiving money for it but your mom won’t give it to you. You also said that you used to get SSI but the checks aren’t in your name. Is there a caseworker or someone you can talk to about that? It sounds like you are still in high school and it’s great that you are trying to graduate in such a stressful situation. Is there anyone there that you can talk to about what is going on?

    Generally speaking, once you are 18 years old, you are considered an adult and are able to make your own decisions. If you were to leave home, your mom would not be able to file a runaway report with the police. Unfortunately, we don’t know whether or not your mom would be able to withdraw you from school.

    You asked if your mom would be able to find you and hurt you. Do you think that is something she would try to do? If you feel threatened or unsafe, you can always call the police and ask them to help you.

    If you would like to talk more about what is going on or to explore what options you have available to you, please call us anytime. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a chat service that is available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week.

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't know what to do with my life

      I'm so done with my family right now- they're not even family. I've barely turned 18, but my mother and stepfather have complained and pushed me to move out since 17. I've done alI'm I've tried to be a good student/person. I'm at the top of my class, I'm in NHS, and I also do good in band, but what do they see? Nothing.
      My previous two sisters got pregnant their senior year, and had to quit the track to go to college and start working to support a baby; but me? I'm already graduating this Saturday, not pregnant, and I plan on going to college. The only problem?
      My parents don't want to pay for it and I can't pay for it myself because I don't have a job because I really can't get a job, due to something really about citizenship... but even then, I can go to college, but I can't work....so that meams it has to come out of my parents pocket, but they b**** about any money they have to spend on me as if I'm the biggest burden they ever had.
      And then they spend money on my mother to get her tubes sown back up??
      They also treat me like a ********ing maid sometimes... I clean up after myself, and I'm human too when I'm just too stressed about school/academics, but they complain at me still AS I'm doing what I'm told- It's sickening! They get verbally abusive, calling me disgusting trash that nobody would want...it's depressing.....
      .....I honestly have nowhere to go...
      I have a supporting boyfriend, but his family doesn't have the space... other parts of my family don't have space either...
      I want to run away so badly, but I want to go to college because it's my dream to, but I can't!
      Tell me,..... anybody..... what do I do?....

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: I don't know what to do with my life

        Hi there,

        Thank you for sharing your story, it sounds like you are really going through a lot right now. It sounds like you are a great student and good kid. It's great that you've reached out to us for support and are taking initiative to help yourself.

        Since you are over 18 unfortunately your parents are not legally responsible for you anymore. However, your frustration with them is completely understandable. You mentioned that your boyfriend’s family couldn’t take you in but do you have any other friends that you think would be able to help you? Is there possibly anyone at school that you would reach out to for help?

        Another option some people in your situation use is to stay in a homeless shelter or transitional living center. If you would like us to help you look for shelters or housing assistance in your area you can give us a call. We can look for options in our database when you call us @ 1800-runaway, we are here 24/7. You can also chat with us online between 4:30 and 11:30.
        Another service that we offer that you may find helpful is the ‘message service’ between youth and parent. This service would allow you to leave a message with us for your parents. This can help sometimes in opening the communication with your parents and allowing them to hear what you have to say from someone other than you. We can also start that process when you call us.

        Any of the options are up to you and we are happy to discuss more if you’d like.

        Best of luck!

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          What do I need to do?

          I won't go into the details, but in about a week I will be 18 in Oregon. Once I graduate high school, I plan to work hard and save money, then leave home forever before college starts and live alone. How much money should I have when I leave? $10,000? What are all the other things I will need to have or know from my parents before I leave for good? Thank you so much!

          Comment


          • #6
            RE: What do I need to do?

            Hello,
            Thank you for reaching out to us. It seems like you have some exciting plans for your future. It’s great that you are working on a plan to keep yourself secure. There is no exact amount of money you will need to move out; it will typical depend on where you are moving and whether or not you have a job lined up. It sounds like you are going to college. Is living on campus an option? It may be difficult for an 18 year old to qualify for an apartment without a cosigner (not impossible perhaps, but certainly may be difficult). You can do calculations for a rough amount you would need; it’s important to be realistic. First and last month rent and typically a security deposit, groceries, phone, car, etc. You can figure out roughly how much you would need each month and then multiply that by how long you think you will be without work. It is also important to figure how much you will need to be making to support yourself from month to month when you do get a job. Have you considered talking to anyone about possibly helping you with the process? You can always call her at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk more about what is going on and your option. Good luck!
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              My mom try to take over my life!!

              My 18 years old, I live with my mother and my 24 year old brother and his 19 year old girlfriend. I am in high school as a 10th grader. My mom works and my brother don't do anything to help. I get a check from my dad every mouth till I finish high school. My mom sometimes takes up for my brother and his gf more than for me. She let's my brother yell and cuss at me and sometimes hits me. I have a 20 year old boyfriend and he has a place that he is getting fix up and don't mind me living with him. But my mom is try to make me stay home by try say I can't leave bc I'm in school and if I do leave I won't get my money and I feel like she will take my car if I try to live but I pay withy own money for my car I even pay with my money for my moms car and my brothers truck. And I'm scared if I stay there much longer I will come more depressed and try to hurt myself more than I already do. My boyfriend says when I'm around him and his family I don't seem depressed but when he with me at my house with my brother and mom he see the depression come out. I like to move out keep going school and keep my car. What I wanna know is can she stop me from leaving bc I'm still in school and can she take my car even if I pay for it but it's in her name but I'm the lienholder of the car.

              Comment


              • #8
                re: My mom try to take over my life!!

                Hey there,

                Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a pretty rough time at this point in your life. We want you to know that we are here to listen and to help you in the best way we can. From what you shared, it sounds like you are pretty set on leaving home.

                We want to start off by letting you know that we are not legal experts here but we are able to speak generally about your situation. In most states, once you are 18, you are able to decide where you want to live- regardless of whether you go to school or not. As we mentioned earlier, we are not legal experts here but if you would want to accurately know what would happen, it would be best if you were to reach out to your local police department and ask that general question. If you are nervous about calling the police, you are also able to give us a call and we would be able to call your local police department for you. As for the information you are asking about your car, which is another area that we actually wouldn’t be able to talk about. Perhaps you can try contacting your car dealership or you can contact your insurance company and ask some general questions.

                We hope that we were able to give you some general information about the questions you ask. If you have any further questions or would just like to talk to us about your options, please feel free to give us a call. We are here 24/7 and would love to hear from you, our number it 1-800-RUNAWAY. We also have a live chat service which is available every day from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do and hope to hear from you soon.

                Stay strong,

                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Want to move , But is concerned about school

                  I am 17 and I live in Mississippi. And my birthday is August 30 I'm now a senior in high school. I'm waiting until my birthday to come so I can move out. I've attempted on leaving home early in May , but the police made me come back home. They told me when I become 18 I could move. Living in this house is very stressful with 3 other siblings. Im the second oldest and i never go places because if i ask my mother is going to say no. Im always cleaning and taking care of the house by myself while focusing on my senior year and getting prepared for college. I am engaged to be married, My fiance is 18 and has two jobs. Im going to be living with him and his sister until we get on our own. His mother would love to sign me up at a school where they live. Shes very supportive, i love her like shes my own. I was wondering if my mother doesnt take me out of school could i transfer schools myself when i turn 18. Or am i going to have to drop out? My mother knows where my fiance sister lives. Can my mother do anything again. Or come and make me come back home.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    RE: Want to move , But is concerned about school

                    Hello there,

                    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are so glad you reached out and we will do our best to help you. It sounds like home life is quite stressful for you. You mentioned you left once before but were brought back by the police. It seems you may have been informed of laws in Mississippi as far as leaving home legally but you are now wondering if you leave home at 18 will you be able to register on your own. We are unsure of state laws around education. It may be best to contact the school for more information on the registration process to see if your mother has to register you for school or if this is something you can do on your own. Each state as well as school district may be different when it comes to educational laws and requirements for registration. You may be able to find more information on the following website about the county and district you plan to attend school in: https://www.mississippi.gov/content/...Education.aspx.

                    It also sounds like you are concerned about your mother trying to make you go back home if you left at 18. We are not legal experts, but if the state of Mississippi recognizes 18 as the age of majority, you have the right to choose where you live. Your mom may try to file a police report as a missing adult since you would no longer be a minor. For more specific, direct answers it may be best to contact your local authorities for confirmation on this.

                    If you needed any further assistance, please reach out to us by phone or chat. We would be happy to help any further such as contacting agencies for you or looking up resources for you.

                    We wish you luck and hope to hear from you soon.

                    Take care,

                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      18 and wanting to leave.

                      I just wanted to know if there was any possible way that I could move out with out there being a big deal. I live with my grandparents, older brother, aunt, cousin, and my grandfather's brother... I really don't want go be here and I was planning on moving in with my friend but her step father said it wasn't a good idea. I understand that even though I am 18 that there are still rules and chores under their roof, but some of them are a bit ridiculous.. I am not allowed to be able to smoke, even though everyone but two smoke in this house. I get job interviews but I've been told that they were not going to take me to them. I do not have a license because, well no one will take me and they complain about insurance being too much, but that would not be a problem if they would only take me to get a job. I am a senior in high school and I'm a good student for the most part. I just don't know what to do. I love them, but they're pushing me away. They treat me like I'm 12 but I'm not allowed to be my ag . I'm not an adult in their eyes.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        RE: 18 and wanting to leave.

                        Hi there,

                        Thanks so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like things have been pretty challenging at home, even with being 18 years old. We’re here to help as much as we can.

                        We’re not legal experts but generally speaking, once a youth turns 18 they do have the right to decide where they live/what they do. It sounds like there are a lot of things complicating this, such as not having a job, personal transportation or your license. One possible option might be trying to get rides to these things from either other extended family, or friends. It has to be very difficult and understandably frustrating to not be able to move forward in one aspect without having another.

                        It sounds like you were thinking of staying with a friend, but your friend’s stepdad did not feel like it was a good idea. If you are really feeling like you need to leave home and are without a place to go, you can call us and we can try to locate a shelter or safe place near you.

                        We’re here to support you and help as much as we can. Please do not hesitate to call or chat with us to talk more through your options.

                        Best of luck,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                        Tell us what you think about your experience!

                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Sick of my life so hated

                          Hi I am 18 years old I wanna move out my parents won't let me I wanna get a job they don't want me to get a job they want me to go to Centrelink and get a youth allowance I can't go out with my friends i can't do anything I can't wear wat I like I am really sick of this I don't have a job I wanna move out as soon as possible but I have no one no friends thanks to my mom who never let me have friends I really need a help to get a shelter and then a job plz I am really sick of my life I feel like dying so bad it's really stressful all my siblings can do whatever thay want but I can't I really need a help

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            RE: Sick of my life so hated

                            Hello,

                            Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation at home. It sounds like you aren’t able to move out, get a job, or do what you want with your time because your parents won’t allow you to. You should know that since you are 18, you are considered a legal adult. This means you have a right to decide where you want to live and you are able to get a job without permission. Although your parents have no legal right to keep you from leaving, they also have no obligation to support you financially if you don’t follow their rules. If you would like to move and need help figuring out a plan for going out on your own, we can help you by talking through your options and providing local resources that might help. If you are looking for a shelter, we can help find something for you. You mentioned that you feel sick of your life and you feel like dying. It is normal to have these kinds of feelings, and there is help for you. Are you considering suicide? If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a helpful resource. You can go to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and our main concern is your safety. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and a lot of bravery to move out on your own. We are hoping to hear from you soon, and wishing you the best of luck.
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              18 and fed up

                              Hello. Im freshly 18, and dealing with a lot of different problems in this home. My parents cannot be convinced and are extremely controlling individuals in my life. For the last 18 years I've dealt with control on who to be as a person, and how to live my life. They barely let me out of sight, invade my privacy in every aspect, and any type of independence I earn is quickly stripped from me. I had a job, and was trying to save up due to this circumstance but my mother had called my job to quit for me. She also stole my debit card. I would have tried to re contact my boss but my mother shut the data and service from my phone off, as well as shut the internet off whenever I am home. Being Albanian this culture has left my parents vain and strict beyond belief. Ive been emotionally hurt and suffocated by them and mistreated in many aspects. They make me feel as if being social is abnormal, and liking males in any way is not appropriate. And they threaten me with the thought of being disowned if i choose anything other then Albanian. They threatened to take me out of school and have me do nothing but be an herb in my home. And they say that nothing in this home is mind and nothing I have is my own. They own me. But i will not be controlled and scrutinized any longer. Like I said, I am completely fed up and don't know what to do anymore. I have places I could go Im just afraid and don't know what to do in all honesty. I'd have to start from scratch and pay for schooling, and everything on my own. Ive had to conform to a person I am not in this home and can't be my true self. The standards they have are completely unreasonable and the lack of regard for me and my happiness has left me with a lack of respect for them. I feel like I'm being stopped from life here, and I just want to be free. I have wanted to leave for so long but I know will lose so much. It just scares me. Any type of advice would be good here.

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