Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

13 year old, Canadian, wanting to leave home?

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • 13 year old, Canadian, wanting to leave home?

    I'm thirteen years old and I live in western Canada. I've been wanting to leave my mother for three years now, going on four. My parents split up when I was young, my relationship has been strained with my dad because of my mom making me believe things that weren't true, or were not as serious as they truly were. I'm barely allowed to see him because she doesn't like his girlfriend, simply because she chose the name that my mom wanted me to have when I was born.

    My mom is almost always yelling at me, calling me names, or telling me that I'm stupid or that I'm a horrible person. I can't take it, I walk away or shut it out but she gets so mad, and she screams and screams then slams her door. I've never left the house when this happens, and I've never, ever, sworn at her face or told her I hated her although many times it's been tempting. I feel like that would get me nowhere.

    I've tried addressing the situation many, MANY times with her, and with my counselor, and with my aunt. Everybody says to ride it out, but I can't take it, mentally, anymore. I cry myself to sleep and I wish I were somewhere else. I can't live with my dad, unless I took that to court but my mom would never allow that. I want to live with my aunt, but my mom and aunt are too close and that would be weird. I feel like I have nowhere to go, but I desperately want to leave.

    Emancipation is out of the question, I'm thirteen, unemployed, and just too young.

    I don't know what to do. This doesn't feel like home. I need to get out of here before I go crazy. I already deal with depression because of this, and I'm on Zoloft to control it as well as my anxiety attacks. I don't think contacting Child Protective Services would be of any assistance, as I'm not sure I'm in any true harm? I know I have it great compared to a lot of people; I've only been slapped three times by my mom, when she was truly angry and I suppose I deserved it. I have a roof over my head, food in my mouth and clothes on my back. But I'm severely unhappy and I've been talking to my therapist for months but nothing is helping.

    The happiest I am? Is when I'm away from my mother, away from home. I've told her I want to go to boarding school, or try homestay in another city or country, but she won't let me. I know it's expensive but my dad already said he'd pay for it, but she won't let me.

    I'm sorry for rambling, I don't know what to do or who to talk to anymore. I've talked to my mom but she just gets so mad and I'm tired of it all. I just don't know what my options are, besides to toughen up.

  • #2
    RE: 13 year old, Canadian, wanting to leave home?

    Hi

    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like what you are dealing with at home is very difficult and causing you to feel depressed. We are sorry to hear about the way you are feeling and what you are experiencing. No one deserves to be yelled at constantly, disrespected, or called stupid. It sounds like not being able to see your father as much and having to be at home with your mom is distressing. You mentioned that your mom and your aunt is pretty close and that you would like to go and live with her but it may be weird because of their close relationship. Have living with your aunt been discussed with her? It seems that you have brainstormed and presented your mom with several alternative living arrangements but she has refused them all. You mentioned that you would like to live with your father; do you know how your father feels about that?

    It sounds like you have thought about contacting Child Protective Services but is unsure because you don’t know if they would be able to assist. Child Protective Services generally have their own criteria for defining abuse and you would probably have to contact them directly and explain your situation to determine if they can help or not. Although your mom does provide you with a roof, clothes, and food you still does not deserve to be mistreated. It sounds like a lot of the options that may exist for you do not because your mother disapproves of them. How do you cope with living with your mother? Have you and your therapist ever discussed some coping mechanisms for yourself while being at home with mom if living at home is your only option for now? It sounds like you are in a very tough situation with very few options available. Is there any other relatives or alternative housing arrangements (such as youth shelter) that you think your mom may approve? In addition, do you and your mom attend family counseling? If so, maybe these things can be addressed with a therapist to see if he or she can help you and your mom come to a mutual agreement.

    We hope the information provided helps. We wish you the best of luck.

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment

    Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
    Auto-Saved
    x
    Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
    x
    x
    Working...
    X