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Family, Love, Friends, nd Bullied

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  • Family, Love, Friends, nd Bullied

    hi. a few months ago i finally told my school counseler about my mom's ex boyfriend sexually abusing me and my sister for 8 years. this man is my 3 yr old sisters father, i raised her because my mom always worked and her boyfriend sat at the computer all day or watched tv. Now that the truth is out, my life seems to be falling apart. he had to move out immediatly, and my family isnt taking it very well. the majority doesnt believe me, or my other sister. my own mother refused to believe us, but one night while she was at work he approached her while she was on a break and he started hitting her drunk. after that she decided to get a pfa for herself but the caseworkers made her get one for us too. my family has been torn apart, and they are blaming me. i kept it in and pretended nothing happend for 8 years, until they finally cracked that thing behind my smile. but now family members are saying how im such a liar, and i am sending an innocent man to jail. this makes me feel worse..but then like everything else, rumors get spread everywhere, and people ask me about it in school, and my ex boyfriend wont talk to me anymore because he thinks im a big liar and dont deserve him..and then another guy i liked stopped talking to me because my cousin told him that i hated my moms ex boyfriend being around and i just didnt want him to live with us anymore so i made up the whole story to get rid of him..i couldnt send someone to jail for no reason, expecially my baby sisters daddy...in school people give me dirty looks and avoid me, and send me msges cursing at me for being a b*tch and sending my baby sisters dad to jail and destroying my family..why would i or anyone else want this? i didnt ask for this...i want to runaway, i have first wanted to at 13 years old, when my mom told me the man who raised me wasnt my real father...but this is pushing me over the edge...my life has never been easy..i lost my brother 10 yrs ago when he was 4 yrs old, then a month later i lost my great grandma, and then a few yrs later a really good family friend dies of cancer..then at 13 my mom tells me to expect a baby sister and about my real dad, and then 2 years ago my uncle comitted suicide..sometimes i dont know what to do, i try to be strong because i am my moms oldest, but recently all i seem to do is cry..and not to mention just last night i was abused again my another family member, but i dont want my family to be completely torn apart, so i pretend it never happened. i now hav very few real friends, and they dont even know my whole lifes story.. i have very hard time trusting people and i just wonder why my life is soo hard. my mom and i have never gotten along since i was 13, and we are constantly yelling back and fourth, i even had the urge to hit her, but i held it in and swallowed hard..nothing in this life of mine seems to be working out. i keep getting my heart broken, and losing family members and friendships..i want a fresh start in a new area but my mom refuses to let me move with a famly member or move ourselves..there is more but i dont want to write you a book but i dont know what else to do

    if you can help me, id gladly appreciate it..

    thanks..

  • #2
    Re: Family, Love, Friends, and Bullied

    Hello,

    Thank you for being so brave with sharing your story with us today. After reading everything you wrote, we cannot even begin to imagine how you are coping at all. It sounds like so much has happened around you and to you that it may take a long time to get the proper help you deserve. However, you are off to a good start because you are thinking smartly about how much your family means to you. It is sad when the victim here, which is you, continue to be blame for something you did not deserve to happen to you.

    We are are a confidential and anonymous hotline that caters to what you need. How are you coping? What do you to distract yourself from all the frustration that comes with the harassment? Is there anyone that you can turn to for support? We are here for you. You are not alone. No one deserves to go through what you have been through and still get blame for everything. You are a survivor and I honor your resiliency. Do are welcome to count on us to be there for you, to listen to you, if you do not have anyone to turn to right now. Our number is 1800RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days to week if you need to talk.

    What do you see yourself doing to free yourself up from some of the blame you have been getting. It sounds to us that your stepfather ought to have been more careful and mindful of the fact that you were just a child. You having to realized when it was enought must have been empowering but we imagine scary also. We have the resources that you may be seeking out. One such resource is called RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) at 1800-656-4673. They may be able to help you in ways we cannot but we are still here for you to contact us for direct support. We hope to call us soon. Good luck.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      thank you for replying back to me...but the only people i thought i could trust were my best friend, my aunt and my sister, but just last night my best friend told me she never really believed me, i dont know how to act towards this..and wen my aunt talks about it to me, i can tell that she really is having a hard time believing me also, but my sister went through what i did with my moms ex boyfriend, so she sometimes can be useful to talk to, but she makes it very hard. i feel like i have nobody, since i was the one who finally came forward about it, my mom has been very hard on me, she said she trusts my younger sisters more than me because she "can not add up to the lie i told", im pretty sure what shes talking about..and being 16, i am able to get my permit but my mom refuses to take me to get my physical because she said she does not trust me, she told me that if i get my workers permit i can get a job, i got that permit a long time ago, and she still doesnt let me leave the house except for school and my aunts house...people at school dont ask me to do anything anymore becasue they know im not aloud. i try to forget everything by listening to music, or sleeping, because when im asleep anythings possible and life just seems easier, and sometimes i wish to never wake up because life itself is more of a nightmare. i have done many things to hurt myself, but recently my mind tends to be saying that i cant let this beat or over power me and my decisions, becuase i can deal with this and learn from it and become stronger. but i cant say im a survivor because i feel like im still stuck in this mess, i just need to get away from my mom, my family, friends, and my school. i have stayed this long becasue of my baby sister, i feel like if i leave, she wont really have anybody, even though im sure she does. i have called children and youth about this situation again, but still have not recieved any response from them, and on the 3rd i have to go back to court, im guessing its to determin whether my moms ex boyfreind go to jail or not..after everything that is happening, i dont want him to go to jail, because my family would hate me forever, but i know thats where he belongs, but maybe if he had a second chance, i mean people change right? i can not get a second chance to change the past but i think we have the power to change our future...i wanna start by finding anyway possible to get out of my moms house, but i dont wanna feel like im running away from anything..i honestly say i hate her, and i dont want to live with her, but i dont want to leave my baby sister. i wanted to live with my aunt but i have changed my mind, because of what had happened to me the other night...i feel like i have no options, and i am stuck with no where to turn..nobody but my sister seems to believe me and i have no idea why, becuase my moms ex boyfriend even admitted to everything! i just dont know what to do and it feels like its killing me inside.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hello,

        Thanks for responding with details. Sounds like you have a whole lot on your plate and you're trying to find support and stability.

        Seems like there might need to be a lot of exploration with your story and having a conversation about what kind of specific support you are looking for...you did mention issues of hurting yourself and 'wanting to get away'.

        If you do feel like hurting yourself, would you ever tell anybody about it? Would you seek the support of friends or family? Here is an organization that is open to talking about issues of self injury (and suicide): 1800-273-TALK (8255)

        As for finding a place to go, would you be willing to go to a safe place or a shelter? Sometimes shelters for young people are good places to go when you feel like you've got no where else to go. If you contact us, let us know what city/state you'd like some support resources.

        If you're able and willing, please give us a call. We're anonymous and confidential and able to explore the options that may be available to you. We're here 24hours a day. Our number is 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

        We hope to hear from you soon. Best of luck,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          i dont think i would tell anybody about it, because i dont think i can trust anybody anymore..but i dont think im gonna do anything to commit suicide..that is crazy to me because my uncle did just that...i want to leave soo badly but i wont because i refuse to leave my baby sister..she is the reason why i have stayed this long. i wont leave her, i cant. i will deal with everything i dealt with again, before i ever think about leaving her. i raised her from when she was born until now, and i have a feeling i will be a big part of her life and into her future.

          i want to leave, and hopefully get away from this nightmare, but i cant, not with out my baby sister. so at this point im still stuck and will be for a long time to come, im guessing..

          i do need to find that support and stability, but im not sure where else to look, or turn..

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Family, Love, Friends, nd Bullied

            Hi,
            Thanks again for sharing so much with us. You sound like a really strong and selfless person. Your sister sure is lucky to have your support. You have been through so much and we really would like to be able to help. Whether you want to talk with us to just have someone to listen to you without any judgment, or if you would like to look into any kind of resource that might help we are definitely here for you.
            Please give us a call anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We're here to listen. Again, we can hear that you are really going through a lot and it sounds like you are able to come out strong. Please let us help however we can. We are confidential and free from any payphone.
            Best of luck to you and we hope to hear from you very soon!
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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