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I'm 18 and leaving, can my mom call the cops and report me missing?

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  • Hi im female 18 just turned, i feel as if im undergoing emotional abuse in my home and i have made some pretty bad decisions with boys in the past over the phone but i am in church i do plan on going to college and i am currently seeing someone my parents do not approve of. My dad has given me multiple blind threats saying if i was to get prego my child would not see the light of day, he would beat me kill my bf if he tried to see me ect. I fear that because i am sneaking to date this boy that no one will help me but at the same time i do not wish to go threw this at my home any longer over a boy who i very much love. I also fear that my dad will ruin my life if i stay he has already told my manger at my job that i dont work there anymore because my boyfriend comes by and we hang out my parents have taken my checks and will take my permit (dont have license yet) and my dad says i will leave home when he feels im ready he said, "i could be 24 and i still couldnt leave" i need help knowing my legal rights and i fear that he will harm me or my bf if i try to leave and i fear that if i stay i will never truly leave ..... If that makes any since

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    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your relationship have caused quite the riff between you and your father. It sounds like your father has been threatening you and your boyfriend. If you feel like his threats might be serious, please know that you do have the right to contact the police. You deserve to be safe. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but if you are concerned about your safety and your rights to leave home you could also talk to the police about a safety plan. You could request that they help escort you out of the house if you fear that it might get dangerous.
      You are also welcome to give us a call and we can talk through a safety plan with you as well. We want you to know that you are not alone in this and we will do whatever we can to help. 1-800-786-2929

  • I’m 17 and a half and I want to move out in California
    a lot has been going on between me and my dad it has escalated to the point where we have gotten into fist fights I have contacted the police from this abuse and when the police have had arrived I didn’t have any marks left in my body from the abuse and my father used that as an advantage and said that I was the one causing problems to him and my family and he threatens to call the police on me over any simple thing family was involved and nobody seems to want to help me cps was involved in this situation and he can’t get close to me or my siblings and my mother but he still tries to find away around it by abusing us mentally and verbally but not physically it has gotten to the point where he disowned me and said that he wasn’t my father and it’s been a living hell the closer and closer I’m getting to be 18 in December which is two and a half months away I have tried all I could to get away and to spend less hours in the House by trying to join a sport which I couldn’t because my father didn’t permit it I try to stay at school for as long as I can I have two jobs I try to work as much as I can not for the money but mainly to have a reason to leave the house and stay away as much as I can

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline! From what you shared you have been through a lot and still are in tough situation which we are really sorry to hear. It sounds like CPS has been unable to help in that instance and we are really sorry to hear that. We are going to go over some plans and resources and we are always here to further discuss them or even other plans so do not hesitate to reach out to us here as we are 24/7.
      It sounds like you have been coping a lot by staying out of the house to be away from your dad. You do not deserve to be abused in anyway, including physically and verbally. You are always allowed to make as many CPS reports as you want as there is no limit to the amount. We aren’t here to define abuse but, verbal, mental, and emotional abuse is still abuse. Child Help is a great resource that can help with defining abuse and any other questions or concerns about CPS. They can be reached at 1-800-422-4453. We are always here as well and we aren’t legal experts but, we can talk about how to get CPS involved again and we can also help you make another CPS report if you are interested. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Again, it sounds like you have been coping with the situation are very close to 18 which is the usual age of adulthood in the US. We aren’t legal experts but, leaving home isn’t considered illegal but rather a status offense. This means you can’t be arrested or put in jail unless there is other circumstances like you are on parole. If you feel like you must leave and are unsafe, that is something you can do but there are risks. Your parents could file something called a runaway report meaning the police would get a report that you left home and they could try to look for you to bring you back based on the info they are provided. If they do find you, you are allowed to say you feel unsafe at home and that would involve CPS again as they should not bring you back somewhere you feel unsafe. In the same breath, some police departments do not even take runaway reports for 17 year olds, as you are 2 months away from being 18. It does depend on the discretion of the police station and even the officer. You can call into your local non-emergency police to see their policy on 17 year old runaways and ask hypothetical questions. If they make you uncomfortable and start asking specific questions you do not want to answer, you are allowed to hang up. We can also call out on your behalf with you on the line to help ask those questions if that makes you feel more comfortable. To do that, just call into us here.
      You have been dealing with a difficult situation in a very mature way and you are really brave for reaching out. We hope to hear from you again soon!
      Best, NRS

  • I am 18 years old I got kicked out of my moms house and my dads house , my grandparents took me in and I just don’t want to be around any of my family. If I leave my grandparents house neither them nor my parents can do anything about it or try to find me right ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you want to be independents and not have to stay with your family anymore. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but in most states the age or majority is 18. (Nebraska 19, Alabama 20) This means that you are legally responsible for yourself and your parents/ guardians can no longer control what you do and where you go. On the other hand your parents/guardians are no longer required to provide you with food, shelter, or financial assistance anymore. We understand that becoming an adult is a big step and we want to make sure that you know that you are supported during this time.
      Hopefully this information helped you out. If you would like further assistance, we invite you to call us any time 1-800-786-2929.
      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • Hello. I'm in foster care and my case is still open. I'm turning 18 soon and I really want to leave to go back home to my mother. The thing is, is that my foster mom said she'll call the cops on me if I runaway. My dilemma is that I'll be at the age of majority according to Michigan law so don't I have the legal right to leave? DHS and CPS were supposed to hold a meeting before I turned 18 so they could work on closing the case. They never did that which is illegal because by law they are supposed to and every time I ask they turn me down on it. They don't know what I'm talking about and I feel like I'm being misunderstood. I hate where I live now and I was taken from a good home on false accusations. I just want to runaway at 18 and go back to my real family but I don't know if it's legal. Will I really get into trouble with the cops? They already believe I'm gonna run. Should I?
    ​​​​

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to us. If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.
      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • Can my foster mom really call the cops on me if I runaway at 18?

    Hello. I'm turning 18 in a week and I hate my foster home. I get ridiculed a lot. I miss my home which I was taken on false accusations. My case is still open and DHS and CPS is required by law to start a transitional plan for me to move out and close my case. The problem is, they haven't and I have only a week left. I want to run when I'm 18 but DHS and CPS has told my foster mom to call the cops on me if I do. Is it legally my right to move out at 18? Can I leave regardless of what DHS and CPS say? I miss my animals and my room and my mother. I miss everything in my home and I've been depressed here and ridiculed for it and for other things. I've been waiting to turn 18 because I thought I could just age out of the system and everyone told me I would be able to. I was taken three months before turning 18. I just want out and I feel like they just want to hold on
    ​​​​​

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to us. If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.
      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • I’m 18 and try to move out but I’m scared to tell mom and dad so I wrote a letter to them tomorrow I’m leaving to going to my girlfriends house were I’ll be staying can mom and dad come to her house we’re I’m at and force me to leave or do I have a right to stay at her house?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you want to move out to your girlfriend’s house. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but the age of majority in most states is 18 (Nebraska and Mississippi). Since you are 18 you should be able to move out of your parents’ house. If you are concerned about them trying to stop you could request that the police escort you out.
      We hope that this information helps. If you want to give us a call to talk more about what is going on you are more than welcome to. 1-800-786-2929
      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • Hi I'm 18 I wanna get away get out my mother house I was planning on running away today but I'm sacred I might get in trouble

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out! It seems like you’re going through a really difficult time right now at home. We hope we can help. For starters, in most states, the age of majority is 18. Once someone is of the age of majority, they are automatically emancipated from the state. At this point, when someone leaves home, it is not considered running away, but rather moving out. You should therefore not get in trouble for leaving home. You may want to ensure that you’ll have a safe and secure place to go if you decide to leave. You also may want to use this link to check the age of majority in your state. You can do so by finding the age of minority in your state by clicking on your state, and adding an additional year to find the age of majority: https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/. In very few states is the age of majority older than 18. You can also call us at 1-800-786-2929 if you need further assistance.

      Best of luck,

      NRS

  • I am 19, I have problems with both my parents. My dad has asked me to leave the house and that is something I want to do without a doubt, move out. But my mom says that if I leave, she will call the cops... what would happen if I move in with my boyfriend who is older than me and has his own place?? Can the police interfere if I'm 18 and moving in with someone older?

    Comment


    • ccsmod8
      ccsmod8 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there -

      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From your post to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. We are here to help in any way that we can. Because we do get a large number of emails and forum post, we do have to limit email replies to three individual responses to answer any questions that you have or to provide you with a number of means of support. So it’s certainly not a means to communicate to get the full support that you can get if you called in. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our 24 hour hotline and talk to one of our trained liners.

      Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. Now we aren’t legal experts, but what generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. You have stated that you are already over the age of 18 years old. Now considering the information above, you are a legal adult and can’t be forced home and your parents can’t file a runaway report with the police. Now if you haven’t told them where you are or have cut all communication with them, they can call the police still but to file a missing person’s report rather than a runaway report. It wouldn’t affect you at all though because they don’t normally come up on background checks. You can always go to the police and tell them that you aren’t missing. To our knowledge, as long as you are the legal age of majority you can move wherever you want.

      If you have any questions at all, please feel free to call in. Hope that this information helps
      Last edited by ccsmod8; 11-15-2017, 03:30 PM.

  • I am 18 and i live in Utah. I want to move in with my cousin (girl,24) but my parents wont let me, they say i cant because she is irresponsible and she like to have friends over and they worry that something will happen to me. Can i still move out even if they said no?

    I am 18 and ik want to move in with my cousin who is 24 and a girl. My parents dont let me because they say she is irresponsible and she likes to have her friends over and they are worried that something will happen, they said i can do what ever i want but if something happens that it is all on me, can i still move out, will my parents stop talking to me?
    Last edited by ccsmod10; 12-02-2017, 05:53 PM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,

      Thanks for reaching out! It sounds like you are having a hard time with a complicated decision. It’s great that you are taking your time to consider the possible options and outcomes of the situation.

      In situations like this it can be a good idea to talk things through with trustworthy folks in your life, like a teacher, school counselor, relative, and/or friend. Also, that person may be able to talk to your parents for or with you. We aren’t legal experts, however we can share information that’s as accurate as possible. At 18 in Utah you are considered an adult and can legally leave home. You are the expert on your situation and would probably know best how your parents would react if you left. An option to consider is we can do a conference call with you and your parents to mediate a discussion to keep things calm and fair.

      Some other things to consider is if your cousin would expect you to contribute financially to the household and how you would do so if she does. Also, if you are still in high school would you continue or if you’ve already graduated would you go to college or some sort of continuing education. Another thing to consider is if anyone that comes over to the apartment that makes you feel unsafe what you would do. Also, if things don’t work out with you staying with your cousin would you be able to go home or if there was somewhere else you could go. You can always give us a call or chat with us to further explore things to consider and options.

      Thank you again for reaching out. We are here 24/7 and 365 days a year so please don’t hesitate to reach out again if you need it. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck to you!

  • I'm 17 and I'm tired of being at home I'm not happy here and I'll be 18 in January can my grandma call the cops on me if I leave? I already have a house I can go to and I have a job waiting on me and I'm already getting my GED

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,

      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been difficult at home lately with grandma. Home should be a place where you feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore your options.

      You shared with us that you are considering leaving home before you turn 18. It’s understandable for you to feel frustrated and want a change from home. While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you were to run away without your parent/legal guardian’s permission they could file a runaway report and if the police found you, they could make you go back home. Depending on what state you live in, if you are considered a legal adult at 18, then in January you would legally be allowed to leave home. It sounds like you are being very responsible in planning for your future, by working towards your GED and finding a place to stay.
      Some other options to consider could be speaking with your grandma to see if she would give you permission to leave before your 18th birthday or if she would allow you to stay with another family member until then. We could also help you look up youth shelters or alternative living arrangements (ALAs) in your area.
      If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you.
      Take care,

      NR

  • I'm turning 18 on December 29th. We live in Oklahoma. Can my mom legally do anything about me moving out on my birthday. She keeps saying that I'm not allowed to leave until I graduate, but I don't want to live with my parents any longer. I have means to support myself and transportation. I'm also still in high school, I'm a senior. Will that legally give her the right to keep me home with her?

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you want to move out. We're not legal experts, but to our knowledge you are an adult when you turn 18 in the state of Oklahoma. As an adult, you are legally allowed to live wherever you choose. Your mother will not have the right to keep you home with her at that point. If you'd like to talk about the situation further, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck.

  • Can I leave home at 17? In my state the legal age of being an adult is 18, and my birthday is April 12th but I’m fhinking about leaving next month (January) sometime. I have a apartment that I could live in, two jobs, a high school diploma, a car, & insurance (through adoption) anyways, things have gotten so bad at home that it’s not healthy for anyone in the situation, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. I can not take it any longer, and it’s not bad enough apparently for CSD to intervene because I’m so close to being 18. Anyways, my question is, do you THINK the cops will even do much? If they get called? I was told that after even 16 if someone has all the things that I do, sometimes cops don’t do anything. What are the chances of me being reported as a runaway?

    Comment


    • Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and to support.

      It sounds like you are in an abusive situation at home and we want you to know that you are not alone and you deserve to feel safe at home. If you want information about abuse reporting or to talk with a professional about the abuse and possible options you might have, don't hesitate to reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or at childhelp.org. We are also here to talk and action plan with you at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through chat at www.1800runaway.org.

      We are not legal experts but it is true that some departments may not return a youth home if they are close to turning 18 or if it is reported that there is abuse in the home. The way to find that information out would be to contact your local police directly and inquire about how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. That is also something that we could help you with if you call in to us.

      Good luck,

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • I'm 18 and I have been thinking about leaving home my problem is that I'm cyber schooled and I don't graduate into the 8th of June. If I run away my mom says she will call the school and tell them to take me out. I'm wondering can she really do that, does the school have the authority to do that even though I didn't do anything to get kicked out of the school i just left home, and if she did that could I put myself into a school so I could finish out my senior year.

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello and thanks for posting to our forum. It sounds like you are ready to move out on your own but are concerned about how that may affect your schooling. We are really glad you reached out for help!
          So we are not legal experts but in most states, 18 is the legal age of adulthood, meaning at 18 in most states a person is free to move to wherever they choose. However, schooling may be a bit different. Even if you are living on your own and are legally an adult, school may require parent’s signature on some paperwork. You may consider calling your school and seeing how they handle adult students and whether or not you need your mom to enroll you or if she can un-enroll you if she chooses to do so.
          We realize this might be a tough thing to deal with. It seems like you have really thought ahead and it was smart of you to look for some help before leaving. We do offer conference calling with parents so if you think having a conversation with your mom with a third, neutral party may be helpful, feel free to call us anytime: 1-800-786-2929. We are open 24/7 to talk more about your situation and potential options you may not have already thought of. There are things in place to ensure homeless youth can finish high school. If you would like more information on this, call us or live chat with us 4:30-11:30pm CT daily.
          Best of luck in moving out and finishing your senior year! You sound really motivated to get this done for yourself!

      • I am unsure if this is the correct way to ask a question here, but I need to ask, so here I am. I will be 18 in May, and graduating in June. I plan to leave home June 6th. My parents are sort of scary when it comes to leaving, and my dad is emotionally abusive, going so far as to insult me, my friends, and my weight. I have two different places to go, but my question is : What can I take with me (legally) when I leave? How many of 'my' things am I entitled to?

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