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I'm 18 and leaving, can my mom call the cops and report me missing?

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 18 almost 19 and I give birth in September. I've been having trouble at home and have been wanting to move to Louisiana with my boyfriend but I'm afraid my mother will call the cops. Can they do anything if I'm well past the legal age?

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i am 17 and i will be 18 in September me and my mom don´t get along well, i be sneaking out to see my boyfriend and she caught me and she putting me on lock down and wont let me go no where and takes my phone. is she allowed to do this? and when i leave her house when im 18 can she call the cops on me or will she let me stay ?



































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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your mom is not respecting how you identify and that she is overly controlling of you. It makes sense that you want to make your own decisions and live life according to yourself and not others. Everyone has the right to live their life in the direction that they see fit and you are no exception. The LGBTQ National Hotline is a great resource for those looking for guidance from people who have undergone the same or similar experiences. They are reachable at 888 843-4564.

    If you are looking to move out, unless you are in NE, MS, or AL, then you are legally an adult and have the right to choose where you live. It might be worth it to talk with your friends and see if there are any living opportunities in your social network. Additionally, we would be happy to look through our database of resources to see if there are any youth shelters or long term programs that might be available to you in your area. We can also help you sort through making an effective and safe plan for leaving if you would like. If any of these options interest you or if you would like to talk more about what is going on, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 18 almost turning 19 on June 4th. I wanted to leave home almost 3 years ago but I waited until I was 18 even if I have Autism Spectrum Disorder. I know where I'm supposed to go and I have an online college class, but my mom never lets me have a job nor letting me leave home even though I am 18 years of age and I live in Indiana. I did most of the laundry, chores, and everything. I don't have my license yet and my mom currently blames me for my mistakes. Not only that, but my mom doesn't allow me to be LGBTQ+ because I live in a Christian household and I'm Panromantic Demisexual. She won't let me leave the house until I'm married and I never got engaged yet. I have all good grades, do every chore, etc. My mom never respects my boundaries. I told her I was planning to live with her and she said no. My dad is very toxic because he had manipulated me twice, which I am glad that I don't live with him. I don't hang out with my friends as much because she doesn't want me to spend the night at a friend's house nor a friend spending the night at my mom's house. A lot of my friends are part of the LGBTQ+ group and I am more interested in girls than guys even though I have a boyfriend. My mom is overprotective that I just can't stand it anymore. Everything that I do I always have to ask permission from her and the majority of my dates is planned by my mom and his mom, which are not really fun. I wanted to be free and express myself of who I am, but I can't with my mother being around smothering me and I'm her oldest child.

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your partner’s foster parents are making their life so difficult, but it is great that they have friends like you that they can rely on. It is our understanding that once you turn 18 in the state of California, you have the right to live where you choose. Once your partner turns 18, their parents will not be able to force them with the police or without to stay or live anywhere. If you want to talk more about your partner’s situation or what options they might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So my partner lives with really terrible foster parents, they turn 18 in Sept. and we plan for them to move out as soon as they turn 18 and stay with me and my mother or with me in an apartment if we are able to buy it. They are afraid they will make them stay inside the house or if they do get out, try to get law enforcement involved to take them back. They both know of this plan we have and this is in California and we just want to make sure they won't be able to do anything to make my partner stay inside their house or harm me in any way or even get law enforcement involved successfully

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for taking the time to post on our Bulletin on behalf of your girlfriend. It sounds like your girlfriend's parents have been making home quite an unsafe and stressful environment. Leaving can still be a big step to take, and your girlfriend is the expert on her situation and when leaving is the right choice for her.

    The age of majority in Texas is 18, so your girlfriend is a legal adult. She has the freedom to choose where she lives and her parents cannot use the police to force her back. Because she is an adult, police would not consider your girlfriend a runaway and they would not intervene to bring her back home.

    It is really supportive of you to offer to give your girlfriend a safe place to stay. It sounds like you really care about her and want to help her stay safe. We are available 24/7 if your girlfriend needs a safe place to talk through her situation and explore her possible options. We are here to listen and provide any resources she might need (shelter, counseling, etc...). You and your girlfriend can reach out anytime at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My Girlfriend is 18 and she is ready to move out the house, she cannot stand the mental abuse her parents are giving her and is too afraid to leave because she has no where to go but she can stay with me, I am also 18 and we are really close to graduating, she just cant take it anymore because of her parents and just wants to leave, is it legal for her to just leave the house? will she get in trouble and will I get in trouble? Can her parents force her to come back withe the police? And what if her parents lie about her age just to get her back? We both live in Texas and im just wandering what to do, I really want to help her but I need some answers on what to do.

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your post on our Bulletin. It sounds like you were living with your mom per a custody agreement, but you would rather live with your dad full time instead.

    Because you are 18, you are considered a legal adult in most states (except for Mississippi (21), Alabama (19), and Nebraska (19)) which means you have the legal freedom to choose where you live. Your mom can no longer control where you do or do not live since you are no longer a minor.

    If you do live in one of the states where the age of majority is older than 18 then you might still be considered a minor. If this is the case for you then your mom can take your dad to court to enforce the custody agreement and potentially report you as a runaway depending on her custody rights. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense meaning she can ask police to return you home. Police protocol can vary in this type of situation, so you can call your local police department's non-emergency number to ask about how they would handle this situation and if they would enforce the runaway report to return you home to your mom.

    We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. If you have any more questions or you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation, please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i’m 18 my parents have 50/50 custody of me, i do not want to live with my mom anymore. am i allowed to just live with my dad?

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    We are so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed at home with your parents, but we are glad you reached out to us. You are over the age of 18, which makes you legally an adult. You are allowed to leave at any time without the repercussions from the law or your parents. The only issue is your parents may not allow you to come back into the home if you do leave. So you would need to make sure you are completely prepared to leave for good in case it went badly, as you mentioned it may. Your boyfriend and his family would not be in trouble in any way. It is your life, and you are able to make the decisions you feel are most appropriate for your situation. You are welcome to contact us directly, if you want to talk with us in more detail about your situation.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    Best of luck,
    NRS

    Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello my name is *********. I am 19 and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I live at home. In the state of New Jersey. My parents are very controlling. In some ways I feel that they are toxic because of the way I feel mentally. I spend most of my days crying because of the constant belittling and negativity. It is mentally draining. My boyfriend, said if there’s ever a time I need to leave I can go to his house and stay for as long as I need. My parents also have issues with my boyfriend and all my friends. I want to leave but I am scared, but not because I feel I can’t do it, but scared what they might do to my boyfriend or his family, they aren’t the most easiest people to talk to. I want to leave I am searching up more jobs and things I need to live independently. My parents are Latinos and grew up a certain way which is why this isn’t a good household for me. At this point I’m ready to pack a bag and leave into the night but I know that isn’t a realistic way to go.
    I am going to go but I will let them know.
    my questions are: Can my parents legally press any charges against me, if I tell them I am leaving to his house or a friends house in the meantime?
    can they press any charges or hurt my boyfriend and his family?
    would it be considered running away if I tell them even if they do not bless it?
    can the police or my parents force me back home even though I’m 19?
    In this moment in time I need to know that the police will be on my side when I go. Because It will get ugly and I want to leave as peacefully as I can. I love them very much but it’s just to toxic.
    Last edited by ccsmod0; 03-22-2020, 12:20 AM.

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Sorry to hear that your parents aren’t accepting of your relationship. That can be really frustrating and painful to deal with.

    Although we’re not legal experts, when you turn 18 in most states, you are considered a legal adult. This means you don’t need your parents’ permission to leave home, so you would not be considered a runaway. If your parents falsely report you as missing when you’re not, the police normally just confirm you’re okay. You (and your boyfriend) would not be committing a crime. If you think your parents might do this, one option you could try is calling the non-emergency number of your local police department and letting them know you’re not missing and think your parents may file a false missing person report so they are aware.

    It may also be helpful to think about ways you might be able to reach an agreement with your parents about your relationship. Options like writing them a letter about you feel, talking with a counselor, or asking a different family member to help talk with them might make things less tense at home. At NRS, we also offer a conference call service where one of our volunteers mediate a call between a youth and a parent to make sure everyone stays respectful has a chance to be heard.

    If you’d like to learn more about NRS conference calls or brainstorm other options, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.

    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    When i am 18 can i leave my parents house and go to my boyfriends house? They just found out about the bf I'm not supposed to have and my they aren't addressing it in a healthy or good parental manner? Can they call the cops? What can happen to my boyfriend if they find me with him, can he get in trouble in any way?

    Leave a comment:

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