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I'm 18 and leaving, can my mom call the cops and report me missing?

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey,

    At 16 years old, if you decide to leave home without permission to live with a friend, you would be considered a runaway. Your parents most likely would be able to contact the police and file a runaway report.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 (I live in Florida) and I want to leave my parents house so if I leave to Georgia and live with a good friend of mine... can my parents call the cops and make a case and all that?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thanks for reaching out to us. We know these can be tough situations to talk about. In Illinois, you are considered a minor until the age of 18, at which point you legally become an adult in the eyes of the law/court. Your parents would no longer be able to file a youth runaway report, and the police would likely not be able to make you return home.
    It sounds like you’ve thought a bit about a plan to move out already, and that your boyfriend would possibly move in with you as well. So perhaps you’ve already thought about how you will support yourself (pay rent and bills, buy food, stay safe, etc.), but if you want to talk through options or questions about leaving home, we can do that if you give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.
    Or, if you want to talk more about what’s going on at home and some options for dealing with that until you move out, we are here to listen and help however we can.
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 18 in September. I recently told my mom that I wish to move out of the house when I'm 18 and rent an apartment. Our relationship has always been rocky to say the least and we argue almost everyday. My mother is also very controlling. If something doesn't go her way or exactly how she wants it to go she gets really angry. Because of this I decided I wanted to move out. I have a boyfriend who will be 18 ten days after me and most likely will move in with me. I did not tell my mom that part because she's already very "wait til marriage" "act ladylike" kind of person. She doesn't know we've already had sex. When I told her about moving out she freaked out. She told me my dad would hire lawyers to drag me back home and our family has better "standards". I will only move out when I'm 18. I want to know if there's any law (I live in Illinois) that says that my parents could legally force me to stay with them after I become 18.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us for help. We are so sorry to hear about the situation at home with your mom. You don’t deserve to be treated badly, and it is totally understandable that you moved out. At the age of 20, you are considered a legal adult, so you have every right to move out of your mother’s house. She cannot force you to come back home or to break up with your boyfriend. Your mother does not have any legal or financial obligations to you. If she pays for your phone, she can take that away. As for your car, it sounds like she doesn’t pay for it, but it may depend on whose name is on the car’s title. If the car is in your name and you are paying for it, she probably can’t take it away. If you are unsure, you could always call your local police and ask them. It sounds like you are thinking about filing a restraining order against your mom and that she is stalking you. That may be a good option for you, and you can contact your local law enforcement about this option. It is good to hear that you have support from your boyfriend and your dad. This is a really tough situation, and it takes strength to do what you are doing. If you need any resources or need to talk, don’t hesitate to give us a call any time. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 20 and just moved out of my house a few weeks ago. My mom has literally said she has given up as a mother and can no longer raise me and my brother (16). I have a boyfriend of 6 years so I am living with him in a nice apartment that is attached to his dads house. My mom has been telling me for the past few months that she wants me to move out and she can't take care of me anymore. I truly cannot stand her behavior... She has become an alcoholic, barely goes food shopping, attacks me and my brother, and so much more. I am so fed up with her negativity, so I finally got the courage to move out. Im three weeks in and my mom called me last night (wasted) and said that she is forcing me to move back home, she is taking my car and my phone away and that I am forced to break up with my boyfriend. She does pay for my phone, not my car though. Can she really do that? Can she force me to come home? I am tempted to file a restraining order because she stalks me too and shows up to places that I am at. My parents are divorced and I am very close with my dad. My dad said me and him should get restraining orders against her and he is all for me moving out. He thinks its the best thing for me.
    I just want to know if she can legally force me to move back home and still have all this control over me like she thinks she has.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your mother has recently found out that in your past you dealt with suicidal thoughts. Since finding out this information she is now going to take you out of school and take away your car. It is fantastic that you are currently in such good heath that you decided to leave and be independent. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but in most states the age or majority is 18. (Nebraska 19, Alabama 20) This means that you are legally responsible for yourself and your parents/ guardians can no longer control what you do and where you go. On the other hand your parents/guardians are no longer required to provide you with food, shelter, or financial assistance anymore. This also means that your mother may not request that the police bring you home. She would only be able to that is if she petitions the court to have guardianship extended for you because you are not capable of taking care of yourself.
    Again, thank you for reaching out to us. We hope this information was helpful.
    Please call us anytime; we are available 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello. I am 19 going on 20 and I live in Ohio. I have been having problems with my mother and she recently found out that when I was younger I had suicidal thoughts. She is going to basically ruin my life because of this and take me out of school, take away my car, etc. I legally own my car and since I am 18 I figured I would be OK to leave. Could she call the cops on me because I have some mental health issues and find someplace healthier for me to stay?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    replied
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. It seems that your friend is considering running away, but concerned about their mental disability. Since we aren't legal experts we actually don't know if that would affect your friend running away. It may be a good idea to consider reaching out to a legal expert in your area to find out if there are any limitations on the age of being a legal adult. Hopefully they can offer more information!

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friend is 18 and lives in Texas. The biggest part is that they are confirmed to have mental disabilities( though that in itself isnt a problem). However, they feel unloved and want to leave but are sort of being trapped against their will by their mother. If they were to run away while classified as mentally disabled, would police have to bring them back if their mother files a report?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. You don't deserve to be abused in any way, and it is understandable that you are thinking about moving out. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    Best of luck,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 19 years old and physically disabled, things at home are bad i get verbally abused and get treated differntly to the rest of my family, i'm thinking of running away as i am really struggling to cope with being treated like this everyday. I cant even speak without them saying some smart comment, or taking mick out of me, i have had enough

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    W're sorry to hear that you have been going through such a traumatic time at home. Thanks for reaching out, it takes a lot of strength to do that. We here at NRS are non directive, so legally you would need to ask an expert such as non emergency police or a legal aid agency what the laws are in your area. You could also try asking a school administrator if they have information about 18 year olds who are still in school. If you are considered an adult, then you would most likely be legally able to make your own decisions and go from there.

    Good luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi... so turned 18 on the 17th of April this month... the relationship with my family was not a good one.. at all... my dad touched my step sisters and even his own daughter (me). my step mother is a ticking time bomb and screams at me when she gets the chance. The day of my birthday I told my dad again for the third time that i was moving out the next day. he looked at me and told me i wasn't allowed to leave. he said he could have the cops come and get me and take me back because i was still in high school. later that night, my step mom got home and screamed at me for a long amount of time. i finally told her about the things that my dad had been doing and she flipped out on me and said i was just telling stories. Even my step sister told her that it had been happening. she punched me a few time down my side and my dad ran up to me as if he was going to punch me but didn't. he called me a lot of vile names.. and that was basically most of my birthday that night. I couldn't call anyone because my step mother threw my phone and shattered it.. i moved in with my boyfriends mom and him. they are a really good family who are helping me through this... i am extremely scared of losing them.

    The next day they would not let me leave until later on in the day and i could have had someone come and get me out of there sooner... but was too scared to do anything. I have been out of the house for one whole day and they are already trying to make things harder. my dad has claimed all my money from my college savings account.. they are using my first ever dream prom dress against me and now there is a phone situation. they want to keep me on the same line with them... but that means that they would be able to shut the phone off when ever they would want to. they bought it to make it up to me.. but i want no part in them anymore so i told my dad no. they flipped out on me about the phone because i guess they had already gotten it before i could really think it over. they are still trying to have control of me... and it feels like its just going to keep getting worse and worse and worse before it gets better... i am too scared to tell anyone in person about the fight thing because i don't want anything bad to happen to anyone.. I'm just really scared at the moment and i haven't been able to sleep lately. this is honestly the first time i have told anyone the specifics of the situation.

    My main point is i was wondering if they could
    1. force me to go back. (i live in Iowa)
    2. what should i do about the phone situation...
    3. is there any way i can completely disconnect myself from them and not have them mess with anything that deals with me legally?..
    4. any other little bit of advice that could help me... i am in dire need of some more help and i am too scared to ask any non internet person... i have lived three years with them.. building up my fear... Please.. Help Me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod14
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.
    Sounds like you've been having some difficulty at home. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. Your safety and well-being is important, you do not have to face this alone, and there are different forms of help out there for you.

    We’re not legal experts here so it is hard to say what the law is in this case. Generally speaking, in most states, the legal age of majority is 18. You can confirm the legal age in your area by calling your local police department. They may be able to let you know your legal rights. You can also try calling us and we might be able to find local free legal aid resources that can help you acquire your belongings.

    It can be beneficial to think about who your support system is in a time like this, whether it be friends or other family members. It might be helpful to have someone that you really trust to know what is going on with your and your feelings, they can always provide you with direct support in person if you needed it, (i.e close friends, family members, school counselor, etc). Maybe there is someone your parents’ respect that can help mediate a conversation between you and them so that you can get your belongings back.

    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat to offer local resources as well.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

    http://www.1800runaway.org/


    Take care,
    NRS
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