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I'm 18 and leaving, can my mom call the cops and report me missing?

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  • So my partner lives with really terrible foster parents, they turn 18 in Sept. and we plan for them to move out as soon as they turn 18 and stay with me and my mother or with me in an apartment if we are able to buy it. They are afraid they will make them stay inside the house or if they do get out, try to get law enforcement involved to take them back. They both know of this plan we have and this is in California and we just want to make sure they won't be able to do anything to make my partner stay inside their house or harm me in any way or even get law enforcement involved successfully

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your partner’s foster parents are making their life so difficult, but it is great that they have friends like you that they can rely on. It is our understanding that once you turn 18 in the state of California, you have the right to live where you choose. Once your partner turns 18, their parents will not be able to force them with the police or without to stay or live anywhere. If you want to talk more about your partner’s situation or what options they might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • I'm 18 almost turning 19 on June 4th. I wanted to leave home almost 3 years ago but I waited until I was 18 even if I have Autism Spectrum Disorder. I know where I'm supposed to go and I have an online college class, but my mom never lets me have a job nor letting me leave home even though I am 18 years of age and I live in Indiana. I did most of the laundry, chores, and everything. I don't have my license yet and my mom currently blames me for my mistakes. Not only that, but my mom doesn't allow me to be LGBTQ+ because I live in a Christian household and I'm Panromantic Demisexual. She won't let me leave the house until I'm married and I never got engaged yet. I have all good grades, do every chore, etc. My mom never respects my boundaries. I told her I was planning to live with her and she said no. My dad is very toxic because he had manipulated me twice, which I am glad that I don't live with him. I don't hang out with my friends as much because she doesn't want me to spend the night at a friend's house nor a friend spending the night at my mom's house. A lot of my friends are part of the LGBTQ+ group and I am more interested in girls than guys even though I have a boyfriend. My mom is overprotective that I just can't stand it anymore. Everything that I do I always have to ask permission from her and the majority of my dates is planned by my mom and his mom, which are not really fun. I wanted to be free and express myself of who I am, but I can't with my mother being around smothering me and I'm her oldest child.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your mom is not respecting how you identify and that she is overly controlling of you. It makes sense that you want to make your own decisions and live life according to yourself and not others. Everyone has the right to live their life in the direction that they see fit and you are no exception. The LGBTQ National Hotline is a great resource for those looking for guidance from people who have undergone the same or similar experiences. They are reachable at 888 843-4564.

      If you are looking to move out, unless you are in NE, MS, or AL, then you are legally an adult and have the right to choose where you live. It might be worth it to talk with your friends and see if there are any living opportunities in your social network. Additionally, we would be happy to look through our database of resources to see if there are any youth shelters or long term programs that might be available to you in your area. We can also help you sort through making an effective and safe plan for leaving if you would like. If any of these options interest you or if you would like to talk more about what is going on, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • i am 17 and i will be 18 in September me and my mom don´t get along well, i be sneaking out to see my boyfriend and she caught me and she putting me on lock down and wont let me go no where and takes my phone. is she allowed to do this? and when i leave her house when im 18 can she call the cops on me or will she let me stay ?



































    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I'm 18 almost 19 and I give birth in September. I've been having trouble at home and have been wanting to move to Louisiana with my boyfriend but I'm afraid my mother will call the cops. Can they do anything if I'm well past the legal age?

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your current living situation has gotten so bad that you need to leave. Provided that you are over the age of majority, 18 in most states, you have the right to live where you please. The police or your mom would not be able to force you to stay anywhere.

      If you would like to talk more about what’s going on and what options you have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call back at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • if im 17 and my boyfriend is 18 and my mother put a restraining order on him even if he never abused me or nothing just for hate.. when im 18 and hes 19 will it affect him if we move out of state together? can he still get charged even if im 18? we are in texas state right not.. trying to go to colorado or cali. can he get time for taking me with him even with my consent?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you dealing with a lot right now. It sounds like it has been incredibly frustrating for you that you want to move in with your boyfriend but there are some legal concerns. From what we know, your boyfriend could face legal consequences if he were to violate a current restraining order. Because we are not legal experts and restraining orders can vary, we are not able to give specific answers to the question. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, https://www.thehotline.org/, might have more knowledge on this and be able to better answer your questions. A lawyer would be able to give you the most specific and accurate information. We are happy to refer you to legal aid for your area if you call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • I just turned 18 on the 29th of November , I wanted to leave and go stay with my boyfriend but my mom says that since she is legally responsible for me while I’m still in highschool that I cannot make my own decisions and do what I want as long as I’m up under her roof , yet she won’t allow me to leave . is this right ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,

      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time.
      We are not legal experts but from our knowledge in most states one you are 18 you are legally allowed to leave home without permission. We are not sure if being in high school would make a difference in you being allowed to leave home. You could always call your local police department, they would be able to tell you for sure what would happen if you left.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. Please reach out to us if you have any more questions or would like to talk more about your situation. We are available 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!

  • I’m 17 and have been planning to run away since I was 12. I’ll be turning 18 July 23rd of the coming year.

    My mother is extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. She doesn’t realize it but she’s been the main cause of my depressive episodes lately. I’m not allowed to call my bf or other friends that I’ve known for years online because of how strict she is. She also constantly monitors me and I cannot take it any longer. When she’s angered, she yells and swears at me in Spanish, which is where the emotional abuse comes in. If I was to runaway to one of my friend’s house, would the police still look for me if my mother and father were to report me as missing once I’m 18?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It makes sense that you would want more independence since you are so close to turning 18. To address your question, we aren't legal experts, but generally speaking, once you turn 18, all the police can do is perform a safety check on you. This means that they would ensure that they would go where you are and ensure that you are safe, and then would leave you where you are since you will be a legal adult.

      You mentioned that your mom has been the cause of some depression lately. It can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-800-662-4357 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • I’m 17 at the moment. The tension in my house has become unbearable. My mother controls who I speak too, and even though I have online friends I’ve known for more than five or six years, she still yells at me for speaking to “strangers”. She guilt trips me, telling me I must think she’s a dummy or something, and yells and berates me in Spanish. She threatens to take my phone until I leave the house, but also claims that I will not be seen as an adult in her house even when I turn 18. Is it possible to run away at the age of 17 without being sent back home by the police?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. Up until the day you turn 18 if you leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. If you are very close to turning 18 you might be able to convince police to allow you to stay elsewhere but that is up to the individual officer often. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I can ran away If I'm 20 but my parents will call cops on me. They will arrest me if I ran away go with my boyfriend???

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living if you and your boyfriend don't already have a place to stay. We are here to listen and help however we can.

  • Hello. I am 18 and I’m wanting to leave my home and fly to see my girlfriend for a week. I told my parents I am going to fly to her just so they’d know where I am and they told me no I can’t do that. They keep telling me no and they say I’m not mentally stable because of my mental illnesses even though I’m perfectly fine, I just have some days that are harder than others. They also threaten to call the cops on me then too if I leave. Can they do that? Will the police do anything? Should I just go and see her?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      First of all, thank you so much for reaching out today. We know it can be a difficult thing to do and take a lot of courage. It sounds frustrating that your parents are saying you can’t go see your girlfriend.
      In most states, the age of majority is 18. This means that at age 18, your parents technically do not have custody over you any longer. In that case, if they do decide to call the cops, the police and your parents will not be able to force you to go anywhere.
      We cannot tell you exactly what to do because you know your situation best, but legally the police and your parents cannot do anything if you leave your house.
      Feel free to contact us anytime using our live chat system on 1800runaway.com or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available 24/7 to discuss your situation more in depth if you would like.
      Best of luck and stay safe,
      NRS

  • hello, i'm a young 18 year old female, I live with my mother who is toxic. I stay to take care of my grandmother. I'm always cleaning and taking care of all the things my mother should. While i'm doing what she asks i get screamed at or hit. I'm scared of leaving because she threatens the ones i love and sending people after me. I want to be able to get a job and go out! My mother is mentally abusive and it's hard to deal with anymore. When she doesn't get her way she shoves me around. If i leave i can never come back because I am aware she'll beat me. I don't want to fight back because it'll make it worse. She loves to tell me i'm a whore when i have only slept with one person who I am still with, She doesn't know but i've been raped , molested multiple times. I have people who want to help me but i am scared. I love my mother even if she treats me like i'm a bug under her shoe. Right now my grandmother is in the hospital under going surgery on her leg, she has broken her femur. With out me she'd lose the house and everything. What do I do, what choices do i have anymore?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, since you are 18, you are considered a legal adult you can live wherever you wish.

      You mentioned that you were raped and molested previously. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and we believe and support you. You are a survivor and you are incredibly strong and resilient. It can be really hard to deal with this alone and sometimes it’s helpful to reach out to additional agencies for support. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful.

      It sounds like you love your grandmother a lot since you have been staying to care for her. If she is in need of services or assistance after you leave, you or she may want to contact your local Department of Aging office to see what benefits and services she might qualify for. You can find local elder service agencies here: https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Abo...twork/AAA.aspx

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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