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I'm 18 and leaving, can my mom call the cops and report me missing?

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  • I'm 17 living in North Carolina about to move out



    I'm 17 living with my mom and dad and every time I tr to have fun and go somewhere they get so upset and cuss me out my mom lies and says that I have been with way to many guys when I have only been with 2 she says "oh but your breaking the rules" sooo....when they tell me to come home at 8:30 i come home exactly at 8:30 like wtf then my sister calls me a piece of ******** and says that my mom has thought about kicking me out and says that I'm an embarrassment i need to figure out a way to move out without them knowing

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much for reaching out to us! These subjects aren't always easy to talk about, and asking for help can be scary.

      It sounds like your parents and sister have been yelling at you a lot. It also sounds like your mom has judged you for your choices, and accused you of breaking rules, when you feel like you have been carefully following them. Everything you described sounds really frustrating and painful to live with. Being angry about this is really understandable, and so is wanting some freedom to make your own choices without being judged or cursed at.

      It also sounds like you have been considering running away. As a 17 year old, if you were to move out without your parents’ knowledge, they might file a runaway report with the police. This doesn’t mean you would be in legal trouble, but if you were found by the police, they would probably bring you back to your parents’ place. It is also possible that anyone you were staying with might face legal consequences for harboring a runaway, and finally many housing resources (such as shelters) are required to inform your parents where you are if you were to stay there.

      If you are close to turning 18, you might consider waiting until then, when you will have more choices. But whether you decide to leave home while 17 or 18, it’s important to think through a plan that includes a safe place to stay, and reliable ways to access necessities such as food, clothing, and healthcare. It’s also important to create a safety plan, in case you run into an emergency.

      If you want help working through a plan, or just somewhere confidential to vent, we are always here to listen, and share resources, either by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or by chat via our website (www.1800runaway.org). Thank you again for reaching out to us – it sounds like you’re in a frustrating situation, and we are here to listen and help.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • I’m 17 and I want to move out.

    My mom treats me like crap. And my parents are always arguing and there has been some violence in the house. I get screamed at and cussed out if I forget to wash the dishes for one day but when my brothers forget th

    Comment


    • I’m 17 and I want to move out.

      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like things are pretty difficult for you at home and it may be causing you some stress. It’s unfortunate that this behavior is going on. You don’t deserve to be mistreated in any way. It’s not your fault that this is happening.

      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Take care,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • Hello I'm 19 years old and I have been wanting to move out and I have tried talking to my parents about it but they both told me they wouldn't support me in any way and I have a 1 year old she will be 2 here pretty soon I have tried talking to my parents about gettin an apartment by myself but they told me I wasn't mature enough so I have been slowly packing up my things to go and live with my daughters real father he has been wanting me to move in and I like the idea of it because here at my house I get no freedom my mom has to know where I'm at 24/7 if she doesn't know where I'm at she flips out especially if I don't answer her phone calls cause when I get home she yells at me constantly and also she gets onto my daughter the way she wants and she does nothing but yell and scream and spank my daughter and I can't say or do nothing about it because then I get yelled at and that makes me feel like a the worst mother ever I can't even get onto my kid the way I want everything has to be done her way and also my dad said if I started a job half my paycheck goes to them and the other half I have to spend wisely I don't know what to do anymore besides just getting up and leaving I have tried multiple times talking to them but neither one of them wanna actually listen and here what I have to say I just wanna give my daughter the life she deserves and with us living here I cannot do that....
        Help me please!
        I need some advice on what to do!

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It must be very frustrating to give so many restrictions placed on you and to not be able to make decisions on how best to raise your daughter. Since you are 19 you are considered a legal adult (unless you are in Mississippi in which case the age of majority is 21). This means that you can live wherever and leave anytime you wish. If you are planning on living with your daughter's father it is always a good idea to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • i am 2 weeks from being 18. I live in florida. My parents wont let me leave. how much trouble could I get into if I just left?

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

          You mentioned wanting to leave two weeks before your 18th birthday. In Florida, the age of majority is 18. Generally, if you leave before turning 18, your guardians can file a runaway report which would have the police looking for you. If you are staying with friends, they could be charged with harboring a runaway. We are not legal experts, though, and one way to gauge your rights is to reach out to your local, non-emergency police with hypothetical questions. Laws vary depending on situation and location.

          Know that we are here 24/7 if you would like to reach out to us on the phone. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we are confidential and toll-free. On a call, we would be able to explore your options in more depth.

          Stay strong,

          NRS

      • I am currently 18 years old, my boyfriend will be 18 Dec 28th. We want to leave Virgina and move to PA but come back to Virginia after a while, we are worried that my parents will call the cops. Can the cops be sent after us in PA even though we both are 18?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

          You mentioned that you’re 18 years old, and your boyfriend is about to turn 18 himself as well, and you guys are trying to move to another state. You’re really brave for taking the big step in trying to start your life, but also wanting to know the consequences of your actions. We’re not legal experts, but in most states anyone under 18 is considered a minor. In Virginia and Pennsylvania the legal age considered an adult is 18. The cops may not come after you, but your guardians may file a missing person’s report if you guys leave without telling anyone. If you wish to know more, you may explore the option of contacting your local non-emergency phone number, and inquiring about laws in your city and state.

          We hope these resources have been of some use to you. If you need additional help, or want us to make a call to another organization on your behalf, feel free to reach out to us anytime at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

      • I’m 20.. I love in Puerto Rico but I’m moving out . Is it okay for me to move out at the age of 20? Can the police officers do something if i move out ?

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, thanks for reaching out today.

          We are not legal experts but we can answer your question generally. The federal legal age is 18, however, the legal age in Puerto Rico is 21. So it would depend on whether or not your local law enforcement considers you an adult at 20. If you haven't already, you might reach out to your local police and ask if you can leave home without being considered a runaway.

          Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation. We are always here for you. 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org/

          Best,

          NRS

      • Hi im Luis, im 18 and i want to move out of my parents house, but they think they can call the cops if i leave, in addition im about to graduate from high school and i deserve to go anywhere i want, i even want to go to college out of state, they always try to keep me home, they're wrong! I deserve to move out, and get a job elsewhere, and live in another area, like what do i do??
        Last edited by ccsmod1; 01-06-2020, 10:50 AM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey Luis,

          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It makes sense that you would want more independence from your parents now that you are a legal adult. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

          We aren't legal experts here at NRS but the age of majority (adulthood) in the US is 18 (except for NE, AL and MS) so you are considered a legal adult and can leave home whenever you wish. If you leave home your parents can contact the police and request a wellness check to ensure that you are safe. If the police find that you are not in any kind of immediate danger than they would leave you alone.

          It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • Hi am 18 and I live in Puerto Rico and I want to move out to the states but my dad said he will call the cops if I try to runaway or get out of Puerto Rico cuz the age of emancipation is 21 would I get introuble if I move to the states while a missing report is done in Puerto Rico

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It seems like you are in a difficult situation.
          We are not legal experts but it does look like the legal age to leave home in Puerto Rico is 21. What that means is if you were to leave without permission you could be considered as a runaway. If the police did find you they could bring you back home. You could always call your local police department to find out the best answer.
          We wish you the best of luck in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support.
          NRS

      • well i dont want to live with my mom and i want to run off with a guy what can my parents do about it

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

          You mentioned that you’re 18 and are considering leaving your home. Moving out is a huge step into adulthood, and it sounds like you’re ready to make that decision. We’re not legal experts, but in most state, anyone under 18 is considered a runaway. Running away is not a crime, but your mom may still contact the authorities and file a missing person’s report if she doesn’t know your whereabouts. An option you may want to consider would be to contact your local non-emergency number, and inquire anonymously about runaway and missing persons procedures and policies.

          We hope these options and resources have been of some use to you. If you need additional help, or want us to call somewhere on your behalf, feel free to reach out to us 24/7 at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

      • ill be 20 tomorrow on January 27 2020 and my parents keep saying im not mentally stable to move out, even when I can take care of myself and my siblings and the house we live on I had a bad past and made a lot of mistakes growing up but none of them were legal. im not sure what to do anymore and I need someone advice. thanks for ur time.

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
          We’re not legal experts so we can only offer some general information on the subject of moving out of your parent’s home. In most states you must be 18 years of age to move away from your parent’s home without their permission. Moving out is a huge step into adulthood, and it sounds like you’re ready to make that decision.
          We are here to listen and here to help support you. It sounds like the situation at home is causing you some stress. Your mental health is important. If you are going through a rough time right now, an option to consider would be to talk someone like a trusted family member, friend, or counselor to help you with these emotions and feelings. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone in person, you can text a counselor through an organization named the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You would text the word NAMI to 741741, and be back and forth with a counselor, and they can refer you to counseling services in your city and state as well.
          We hope this information has been helpful for you. If you’d like to call us to discuss your situation more in depth and talk about resources available to you, feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us through our website at www.1800runaway.org.
          Best of luck,
          NRS

      • When i am 18 can i leave my parents house and go to my boyfriends house? They just found out about the bf I'm not supposed to have and my they aren't addressing it in a healthy or good parental manner? Can they call the cops? What can happen to my boyfriend if they find me with him, can he get in trouble in any way?

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Sorry to hear that your parents aren’t accepting of your relationship. That can be really frustrating and painful to deal with.

          Although we’re not legal experts, when you turn 18 in most states, you are considered a legal adult. This means you don’t need your parents’ permission to leave home, so you would not be considered a runaway. If your parents falsely report you as missing when you’re not, the police normally just confirm you’re okay. You (and your boyfriend) would not be committing a crime. If you think your parents might do this, one option you could try is calling the non-emergency number of your local police department and letting them know you’re not missing and think your parents may file a false missing person report so they are aware.

          It may also be helpful to think about ways you might be able to reach an agreement with your parents about your relationship. Options like writing them a letter about you feel, talking with a counselor, or asking a different family member to help talk with them might make things less tense at home. At NRS, we also offer a conference call service where one of our volunteers mediate a call between a youth and a parent to make sure everyone stays respectful has a chance to be heard.

          If you’d like to learn more about NRS conference calls or brainstorm other options, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.

          -NRS

      • Hello my name is *********. I am 19 and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I live at home. In the state of New Jersey. My parents are very controlling. In some ways I feel that they are toxic because of the way I feel mentally. I spend most of my days crying because of the constant belittling and negativity. It is mentally draining. My boyfriend, said if there’s ever a time I need to leave I can go to his house and stay for as long as I need. My parents also have issues with my boyfriend and all my friends. I want to leave but I am scared, but not because I feel I can’t do it, but scared what they might do to my boyfriend or his family, they aren’t the most easiest people to talk to. I want to leave I am searching up more jobs and things I need to live independently. My parents are Latinos and grew up a certain way which is why this isn’t a good household for me. At this point I’m ready to pack a bag and leave into the night but I know that isn’t a realistic way to go.
        I am going to go but I will let them know.
        my questions are: Can my parents legally press any charges against me, if I tell them I am leaving to his house or a friends house in the meantime?
        can they press any charges or hurt my boyfriend and his family?
        would it be considered running away if I tell them even if they do not bless it?
        can the police or my parents force me back home even though I’m 19?
        In this moment in time I need to know that the police will be on my side when I go. Because It will get ugly and I want to leave as peacefully as I can. I love them very much but it’s just to toxic.
        Last edited by ccsmod0; 03-22-2020, 12:20 AM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          We are so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed at home with your parents, but we are glad you reached out to us. You are over the age of 18, which makes you legally an adult. You are allowed to leave at any time without the repercussions from the law or your parents. The only issue is your parents may not allow you to come back into the home if you do leave. So you would need to make sure you are completely prepared to leave for good in case it went badly, as you mentioned it may. Your boyfriend and his family would not be in trouble in any way. It is your life, and you are able to make the decisions you feel are most appropriate for your situation. You are welcome to contact us directly, if you want to talk with us in more detail about your situation.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          Best of luck,
          NRS

          Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      • i’m 18 my parents have 50/50 custody of me, i do not want to live with my mom anymore. am i allowed to just live with my dad?

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your post on our Bulletin. It sounds like you were living with your mom per a custody agreement, but you would rather live with your dad full time instead.

          Because you are 18, you are considered a legal adult in most states (except for Mississippi (21), Alabama (19), and Nebraska (19)) which means you have the legal freedom to choose where you live. Your mom can no longer control where you do or do not live since you are no longer a minor.

          If you do live in one of the states where the age of majority is older than 18 then you might still be considered a minor. If this is the case for you then your mom can take your dad to court to enforce the custody agreement and potentially report you as a runaway depending on her custody rights. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense meaning she can ask police to return you home. Police protocol can vary in this type of situation, so you can call your local police department's non-emergency number to ask about how they would handle this situation and if they would enforce the runaway report to return you home to your mom.

          We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. If you have any more questions or you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation, please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

          Take care,
          NRS

      • My Girlfriend is 18 and she is ready to move out the house, she cannot stand the mental abuse her parents are giving her and is too afraid to leave because she has no where to go but she can stay with me, I am also 18 and we are really close to graduating, she just cant take it anymore because of her parents and just wants to leave, is it legal for her to just leave the house? will she get in trouble and will I get in trouble? Can her parents force her to come back withe the police? And what if her parents lie about her age just to get her back? We both live in Texas and im just wandering what to do, I really want to help her but I need some answers on what to do.

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,

          Thank you for taking the time to post on our Bulletin on behalf of your girlfriend. It sounds like your girlfriend's parents have been making home quite an unsafe and stressful environment. Leaving can still be a big step to take, and your girlfriend is the expert on her situation and when leaving is the right choice for her.

          The age of majority in Texas is 18, so your girlfriend is a legal adult. She has the freedom to choose where she lives and her parents cannot use the police to force her back. Because she is an adult, police would not consider your girlfriend a runaway and they would not intervene to bring her back home.

          It is really supportive of you to offer to give your girlfriend a safe place to stay. It sounds like you really care about her and want to help her stay safe. We are available 24/7 if your girlfriend needs a safe place to talk through her situation and explore her possible options. We are here to listen and provide any resources she might need (shelter, counseling, etc...). You and your girlfriend can reach out anytime at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.
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