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I'm 18 and leaving, can my mom call the cops and report me missing?

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im 18 and my parents are officially bat-******** crazy... they are going overboard with punishments and are completely restricting my life. its gotten to the point where they have given me a phone capable of dialing ONLY my mom and dads number... AND I"M IN COLLEGE. (well community college but still) I'm sick of this. i want to leave but i don't have a car or a job that pays enough to support myself... what do I do? because staying here is NOT an option... please help

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  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

    We're sorry to hear about how things have been at home, but glad that you are making a plan to be on your own and reaching out for the help you need. We are not legal experts, but it would depend on what you are trying to bring. Things that you have bought or that were gifts would generally be things that belong to you and so you would be able to take. If there are any items (like a car where your parents pay the lease) that have stipulations on them, you would probably want to reach out to legal aid to know for sure. You could also reach out to your local police to ask further what your rights would be in leaving. If you want to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could speak more specifically if there are certain items that you are unsure of and we could also look up legal aid fr you in your area.

    Don't hesitate to reach out,

    NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am unsure if this is the correct way to ask a question here, but I need to ask, so here I am. I will be 18 in May, and graduating in June. I plan to leave home June 6th. My parents are sort of scary when it comes to leaving, and my dad is emotionally abusive, going so far as to insult me, my friends, and my weight. I have two different places to go, but my question is : What can I take with me (legally) when I leave? How many of 'my' things am I entitled to?

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thanks for posting to our forum. It sounds like you are ready to move out on your own but are concerned about how that may affect your schooling. We are really glad you reached out for help!
    So we are not legal experts but in most states, 18 is the legal age of adulthood, meaning at 18 in most states a person is free to move to wherever they choose. However, schooling may be a bit different. Even if you are living on your own and are legally an adult, school may require parent’s signature on some paperwork. You may consider calling your school and seeing how they handle adult students and whether or not you need your mom to enroll you or if she can un-enroll you if she chooses to do so.
    We realize this might be a tough thing to deal with. It seems like you have really thought ahead and it was smart of you to look for some help before leaving. We do offer conference calling with parents so if you think having a conversation with your mom with a third, neutral party may be helpful, feel free to call us anytime: 1-800-786-2929. We are open 24/7 to talk more about your situation and potential options you may not have already thought of. There are things in place to ensure homeless youth can finish high school. If you would like more information on this, call us or live chat with us 4:30-11:30pm CT daily.
    Best of luck in moving out and finishing your senior year! You sound really motivated to get this done for yourself!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 18 and I have been thinking about leaving home my problem is that I'm cyber schooled and I don't graduate into the 8th of June. If I run away my mom says she will call the school and tell them to take me out. I'm wondering can she really do that, does the school have the authority to do that even though I didn't do anything to get kicked out of the school i just left home, and if she did that could I put myself into a school so I could finish out my senior year.

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  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and to support.

    It sounds like you are in an abusive situation at home and we want you to know that you are not alone and you deserve to feel safe at home. If you want information about abuse reporting or to talk with a professional about the abuse and possible options you might have, don't hesitate to reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or at childhelp.org. We are also here to talk and action plan with you at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through chat at www.1800runaway.org.

    We are not legal experts but it is true that some departments may not return a youth home if they are close to turning 18 or if it is reported that there is abuse in the home. The way to find that information out would be to contact your local police directly and inquire about how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. That is also something that we could help you with if you call in to us.

    Good luck,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Can I leave home at 17? In my state the legal age of being an adult is 18, and my birthday is April 12th but I’m fhinking about leaving next month (January) sometime. I have a apartment that I could live in, two jobs, a high school diploma, a car, & insurance (through adoption) anyways, things have gotten so bad at home that it’s not healthy for anyone in the situation, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. I can not take it any longer, and it’s not bad enough apparently for CSD to intervene because I’m so close to being 18. Anyways, my question is, do you THINK the cops will even do much? If they get called? I was told that after even 16 if someone has all the things that I do, sometimes cops don’t do anything. What are the chances of me being reported as a runaway?

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  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you want to move out. We're not legal experts, but to our knowledge you are an adult when you turn 18 in the state of Oklahoma. As an adult, you are legally allowed to live wherever you choose. Your mother will not have the right to keep you home with her at that point. If you'd like to talk about the situation further, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm turning 18 on December 29th. We live in Oklahoma. Can my mom legally do anything about me moving out on my birthday. She keeps saying that I'm not allowed to leave until I graduate, but I don't want to live with my parents any longer. I have means to support myself and transportation. I'm also still in high school, I'm a senior. Will that legally give her the right to keep me home with her?

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been difficult at home lately with grandma. Home should be a place where you feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore your options.

    You shared with us that you are considering leaving home before you turn 18. It’s understandable for you to feel frustrated and want a change from home. While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you were to run away without your parent/legal guardian’s permission they could file a runaway report and if the police found you, they could make you go back home. Depending on what state you live in, if you are considered a legal adult at 18, then in January you would legally be allowed to leave home. It sounds like you are being very responsible in planning for your future, by working towards your GED and finding a place to stay.
    Some other options to consider could be speaking with your grandma to see if she would give you permission to leave before your 18th birthday or if she would allow you to stay with another family member until then. We could also help you look up youth shelters or alternative living arrangements (ALAs) in your area.
    If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you.
    Take care,

    NR

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 17 and I'm tired of being at home I'm not happy here and I'll be 18 in January can my grandma call the cops on me if I leave? I already have a house I can go to and I have a job waiting on me and I'm already getting my GED

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  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thanks for reaching out! It sounds like you are having a hard time with a complicated decision. It’s great that you are taking your time to consider the possible options and outcomes of the situation.

    In situations like this it can be a good idea to talk things through with trustworthy folks in your life, like a teacher, school counselor, relative, and/or friend. Also, that person may be able to talk to your parents for or with you. We aren’t legal experts, however we can share information that’s as accurate as possible. At 18 in Utah you are considered an adult and can legally leave home. You are the expert on your situation and would probably know best how your parents would react if you left. An option to consider is we can do a conference call with you and your parents to mediate a discussion to keep things calm and fair.

    Some other things to consider is if your cousin would expect you to contribute financially to the household and how you would do so if she does. Also, if you are still in high school would you continue or if you’ve already graduated would you go to college or some sort of continuing education. Another thing to consider is if anyone that comes over to the apartment that makes you feel unsafe what you would do. Also, if things don’t work out with you staying with your cousin would you be able to go home or if there was somewhere else you could go. You can always give us a call or chat with us to further explore things to consider and options.

    Thank you again for reaching out. We are here 24/7 and 365 days a year so please don’t hesitate to reach out again if you need it. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck to you!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 18 and i live in Utah. I want to move in with my cousin (girl,24) but my parents wont let me, they say i cant because she is irresponsible and she like to have friends over and they worry that something will happen to me. Can i still move out even if they said no?

    I am 18 and ik want to move in with my cousin who is 24 and a girl. My parents dont let me because they say she is irresponsible and she likes to have her friends over and they are worried that something will happen, they said i can do what ever i want but if something happens that it is all on me, can i still move out, will my parents stop talking to me?
    Last edited by ccsmod10; 12-02-2017, 05:53 PM.

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  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there -

    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From your post to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. We are here to help in any way that we can. Because we do get a large number of emails and forum post, we do have to limit email replies to three individual responses to answer any questions that you have or to provide you with a number of means of support. So it’s certainly not a means to communicate to get the full support that you can get if you called in. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our 24 hour hotline and talk to one of our trained liners.

    Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. Now we aren’t legal experts, but what generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. You have stated that you are already over the age of 18 years old. Now considering the information above, you are a legal adult and can’t be forced home and your parents can’t file a runaway report with the police. Now if you haven’t told them where you are or have cut all communication with them, they can call the police still but to file a missing person’s report rather than a runaway report. It wouldn’t affect you at all though because they don’t normally come up on background checks. You can always go to the police and tell them that you aren’t missing. To our knowledge, as long as you are the legal age of majority you can move wherever you want.

    If you have any questions at all, please feel free to call in. Hope that this information helps
    Last edited by ccsmod8; 11-15-2017, 03:30 PM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 19, I have problems with both my parents. My dad has asked me to leave the house and that is something I want to do without a doubt, move out. But my mom says that if I leave, she will call the cops... what would happen if I move in with my boyfriend who is older than me and has his own place?? Can the police interfere if I'm 18 and moving in with someone older?

    Leave a comment:

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