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What do you do when you just don't want to live anymore?

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  • What do you do when you just don't want to live anymore?

    I'm 17 and all i've wanted for the past few years is to die. but i'm always to scared to do it i have scars on my arms that haunt me and tell me i should've cut deeper. I was abused when i was younger so i blame myself when everything goes wrong. I get upset easily and i act without thinking. I got sent to attendent care a few weeks ago because i ranaway twice in the same weekend and refused to stay home...I blame myself for having these thoughts and for making my parents cry. i always feel like the worst daughter ever and that i'll never amount to anything. My grades have sucked since middle school and i can never match up to my little brothers who get a's and b's. i always feel like i'm the bad kid and that nothing will ever work out so why try. I started smoking cigs then weed then drinking. I feel like a failure so why not end up like one? i don't know what to do anymore i'm tired of being the bad kid and always having horrible flash backs of when i messed up and the only way to get rid of them is to cut. i'm tired of this life..and tired of being a failure..

  • #2
    Re: What do you do when you just don't want to live anymore?


    Thank you for reaching out to us. You are very brave for doing it. We imagine how hard this time must be for you but you have done the right thing by taking the necessary helps to get help. We want to help. Although we are not in the position to tell you what to do we certainly hope that we are able to work with you closely to figure out alternatives to your situation.

    The question you posed to us is one that we are not able to sum up easily. However, it allows us some time to dig and to elicit appropriate coping mechanisms from you that may or may not work but we hope that the options we provide may be of some use. It sounds like you have turned to cutting. We imagine that cutting helps you to deal with whatever internal pain you are struggling with but we are not here to assume for only you know for certain how burdensome your situation has become.

    We imagine it is not easy for you to feel the way you do and go through this on your own. Have you thought about sharing this with a professional adult such as a counselor? It sounds like these are thoughts you have been dealing with for a long time now. How do you conceal the scars and does your parents really know how you feel? There may be help if you feel you may benefit from you. We cannot force you to accept resources but one particular resource we offer is called the National Suicide Prevention Helpline at 1800-273-TALK (8255). They are 24 hours.

    They are able to function in ways we cannot because we are not expertly trained for suicide. It does not mean we do not take such calls or provide options but they connects callers to the crisis center in the Lifeline network closest to their location. Who should call? Anyone who feels sad, hopeless, or suicidal , family and friends who are concerned about a loved one and anyone interested in mental health treatment and service referrals. What are some other coping skills you think you may be able to use if you feel you get upset easily and act without thinking, as you say? Do you journal, take walks or get out the house more to do reactional things or even perhaps get a tutor to help you bring your grades up?

    It sounds like you have been a bit tough on yourself. It seems that you suggest there may be alternatives to what you find is not working now. We imagine the feeling that you are "a loser" must not rest easily with you daily. What if you were to find something you are good at or even try to excel in classes that you like while working on getting your grades up? It imagine it is easier said than done. It sounds like you are hurting also from making your parents cry. Is there someone you trust who is an adult that may be able to speak with them to see what ways they might turn things around for you.

    There are ideas we have that may not work but we are here to offer guidelines for how you may be able to get the conversation started. We hope these are helpful to start off with but you are still welcome to call us here to get a listening ear and perhaps see what new ideas you may be able to come up with also. How does this sound for a plan? We also have resources local to you that might help you if you need someone to speak with directly. We hope you remain strong. Good luck.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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