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Mom's New Boyfriend

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  • #16
    Well my mom recently got a boyfriend and they've been together for 3 months and they're ready to get married. They said they were a few months later but they'v agreed on getting married later this month. Her boyfriend seemed like he was rushing to get married the first month guess he feels like he'll die or something and he HAS to get married. He's 10 years older than my mom and I heard they've known each other when they were younger, like she was a kid and he was older. Anyways he' been to prison for drugs like 3 times and he still sells it..unfortunately. Random people pop up at our house to see him to buy/sell. He talks crazy to the people he sells it to and I don' think that's a good idea to do. My mom doesn't sell drugs and she doesn't want him to do it either but I feel he won't stop even after their marriage...They'e been into several arguments and broken up and got back together over petty things. My mom even asked me did I think she should marry him. I feel she should wait awhile to make sure she should marry him, but she's an adult and she can be with whoever she wants and decide what she can tolerate. Her bf has anger issues and gets offended easily. He even went off on one of his best friends because of a dirty towel and I told my mom I feel he' do the same with me one day. He can be too open about their sex life and I told my mom to tone that down because it's too cringy to hear. My mom didn' have the best relationships in the past but now all of a sudden she wants to get married because "he treats her better than the others". I do think he does nice things for her and provide her with things but he can assume her of doings that she didn't say or do. I think she thought I was uncomfortable around him because she said my demeanor changed but I'm not and I guess I feel I couldn't really talk to her like I used to because everytime she comes home from work, he's at the door too and he' over the whole time and I barely talk to her he has all her time and when he leaves, she's about to go to sleep I'm like ok then...But their relationship is up and down being together and seperated. I don' know if I have the energy to car anymore because after she says "she' done with him" they get back together a few days later like I already knew what was going to happen. But they're making plans of getting a one bedroom apartment for him and her so she can help me and my brother financially with things. So I gotta move in with my brother while they have their apartment together. She feels it'l be cheaper getting an apartment but I feel the place we're at now is cheaper than the apartment she's looking at. But nothing I can do I think I'd rather stay with my bro than with them at the moment, they might be too openly sexual especially the bf. I wish I could get my own place I'm old enough to(20) but don' have the money, I have a part time job that's starting to suck and I'm also in college so yeah. But I just hope my mom doesn't regret this relationship/possible marriage.


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out. It definitely sounds like this is an uncomfortable and stressful situation for you, and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for support. It sounds like you have a solid relationship with your mom, but lately have struggled to share how you’ve been feeling because the boyfriend is always there. Some options you might consider are writing her an email or a letter sharing how you’ve been feeling, or perhaps taking her out to coffee or dinner to talk about things on your own. Yet another option is to use our conference call service. If you give us a call, we can reach out to your mom and try to facilitate a productive conversation where you both feel heard.
      You mention wanting to live on your own. You might consider staying in a dorm if that is a possibility (if this is not an option financially, you may consider talking to your school’s financial aid office). Another option is to stay in a transitional living program, which is similar to a shelter but is more long term. If you give us a call, we’d be happy to look for a program in your area.
      Thank you again for reaching out. If you would like to talk about your situation further or need help locating resources, please always feel free to call us. Our number is 1-800-786-2929, and we are open 24/7. We wish you the best of luck. If you have a minute, we would so appreciate your feedback of our forum services at the following link: . Your feedback really helps us serve other young people like yourself.
      Stay strong!

  • #17
    my mom's boyfriends told me I'm not welcome at the house anymore and that he wants me out. my mom isn't standing up for me, and I'm not moving to my dads or leaving my hometown. thinking of telling her then leaving after school one day, but I have nowhere to go. I want to leave the house but still attend work and school. what should I do?


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that you’ve been told to leave your home. It sounds like your mom hasn’t supported you in staying home and you’re unsure about where you can go. We can go over some options you might have, and we definitely encourage you to give us a call or send us a chat if you’d like more detailed information.

      If you are considered a minor in your state, your legal guardian would be the person that houses you. If your mom is your legal guardian, she is required to either house you herself or find you another place to stay. If you are a minor and she or her boyfriend kicked you out of your home, one option you have is to reach out to your local police department and report that you’ve been locked out. If you don’t want to remain at home, another option might be exploring whether friends or family in the area would be willing to take you in. if that’s not something you feel comfortable with, we can help you look into things like transitional living program, or TLP. TLPs provide you shelter for a longer period of time, and typically encourage you to continue in school and/or look for work. TLPs are there to help you get on your feet and become independent. If you are a minor in your state, you would need your mom’s consent before staying in a TLP. If you are not a minor in your state, you’d be able to reach out to them directly to find out if they have space available and make arrangements to go through an intake interview.

      If you’d like to discuss what resources are available in your area, please don’t hesitate to give us a call or send us a chat. We are available 24/7 at 800-RUNAWAY (786.2929), as well as by chat every day from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. We wish you the very best of luck. Stay safe!


  • #18
    Okay, so my mom recently got divorced from a VERY toxic relationship with my dad. She had three kids my brother,18, me, and my little sister. In June she started seeing this guy and I met him a week later and I swear I haven’t gone a week without seeing him since. As a matter of fact, we just got back from a vacation with him and his daughters in Florida. Mind you, this is a month and a half after they met. I personally like that’s WAY too fast. The whole trip they were joined at the hip calling each other Babe and all which I’m fine with but they slept in the same bed (there was another bed empty so he had an option) Which makes me very uncomfortable considering they met not even two months ago. Now my brother is leaving for college and he is going with my mom to drop him off. (My brother is t too fond of him because he is protective of my mother because of her relationship with my dad and the horrible things he’s done. I’m protective of her as well hence the reason I’m writing this) I think him going to drop him off at college isn’t really his place and that should be a moment between just my brother and my mom since they are VERY close. And he’s going to my brothers going away party which is not a problem to me. I did ask my mom to go tomorrow to get our nails done and have a fun day together (just me and her) but she has to go somewhere to help her boyfriends mom. So I have to watch my sister til she gets back then she had to go register me for school and get my brother ready for college because she still hasn’t done that because she’s been wrapped up in her boyfriend. So I don’t think he can fit that into her schedule which is fine considering she’s gettin ready to send her first child into college and from what I understand, it’s very hard. Anyways I just feel like they need to take it more slow. Don’t get me wrong he’s a great guy and has done nothing wrong I just feel like she’s spending so much time with him she’s forgetting that me and my siblings want a little of her attention too. And considering the relationship she was in with my father was brutal and definitely put a dent in her happiness, I’m so excited that she’s happy I just feel like 2 months is not enough time to be at the stage they’re at in the relationship, my parents got divorced in March and she met him in June and it’s august and we’re already going on vacations with him. That, for me, makes me uncomfortable because I don’t want her to rush into it and her get hurt again because she does so much for us. I guess this might be nothing but I needed to rant and get this off my chest because I feel like my mom is being taken away and it is NOT a good feeling at all. Please respond and tell me if I am reading to much into this or not. Thanks.


    • #19
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about how you've been feeling about your mom since she got the new boyfriend. It can be really hard to have new transitions especially when you are protective of her and want her to be happy. It can be difficult to have a conversation with your mom if you're afraid of how she might react if you tell her all of these feelings. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to your mom so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, other family member, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation with your mom. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. You can call us 24/7. Your feelings are valid, and we are here to help you express those to her if you need us.


      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!


      • #20
        My mom is never home, she’s always with her boyfriend every single day. Whenever i want to hangout with her, she agrees with me but then, few hours later she cancels unless her boyfriend joins. The only time she is home is if he goes to her house. They lied to me once about where they were going and i talked to her about it but she kept saying thats not true. Every time i hangout with them both she tries to argue with me, i hate it whenever she does it. Ever since she started dating him I barley see her or she just doesn’t pay attention to me and it hurts me because all i want is a good relationship with her, we always argue and get mad at each other. They always want alone time or kick me out. Whenever I’m at her boyfriends house with my mom she always lets me stay for 10-20 minutes then she would take me home. I feel like its my fault and thats another reason why she ignores me and pay attention. I just want all of us to be happy.


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. It can be stressful when someone is taking the majority of you mother’s time and you feel that you do not get to hang out with her or see her much.
          One option you could consider is talking to her about how you feel, she may not realize how this is affecting you. Another option is to talk to her about doing something just the two of you, whether it is watching a movie or getting food together. At NRS we also offer conference calling where you call us and we can call out to your mother and help you have a productive conversation. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to mediate the conversation.
          We hope this will help you out with your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here to help and here to listen. We wish you the best of luck!

      • #21
        My mum has had a boyfriend for about 6 years ive always hated him and he is just always here and my mum always sticks up for him. I wanna spend time with my mum but i cant. I honestly want to die but im scared of killing my self.what do i do olease help


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you want to spend time with your mom alone, but her boyfriend is always around. It is understandable that this is very upsetting and hard to deal with. We are very glad that you have not killed yourself because you matter to us. Your life matters. Your life matters to the people who care about you. We hope that you can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-276-8255 to talk things over.
          We would also like to talk things over with you. That is the best way that we can help you. You can reach us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via live chat at We are here to listen and here to help and being able to converse with you is the way that we can help you figure out how to help you communicate with your mom.
          We really hope that we will hear from you soon because we truly are here to listen and to help.
          Sincerely, NRS
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