Tired Of Living Like This

[Unregistered]

Dear whom ever may be reading this,
i dont know how to write this but i hate my life. im tired of my older sister telling me im good for nothing and that she wishes i were dead, im tired of her making big deals about everything to something their not for example at my school we have this thing were your best friend is your wife and she went and told my dad that i was a lesbian and since she is their favorite daughter he most likely believed her, im tired of being the outcast of the family the only one who makes mistakes and is only noticed for that...i am a very smart girl with strait A's people have told me they wish they looked and were like me but for so many years ive had my two older sisters tell me i was worthless that i still believe it. the eldest has matured but the 19 year old still gives me a hard time...about my weight and how useless i am. my parents dont even listen to me they say that there just playing around with me but i dont think locking me out of the house or making me do jumping jacks in a bikini infront of her just to make me feel bad about my weight(even though im not that fat) is playing around. threatening me isnt playing around either.opening the door on me while taking a shower(good thing is she didnt get to see me) and making me afraid of showering isnt playing around. since that day i was scared to being more cautious of when i am around them. im just tired of feeling so worthless and not being able to go to my family for help because they dont listen even though they say family is the closest to you and will always be there. my friends are the ones who are always and have always been there for me and one of my cousins who my parents hate so i cant talk to her no more. im just tired of my life and feeling so worthless that the sadness sometimes brings me to thinking about dieing so please reply and send me some help

[ccsmod6]

RE: Tired Of Living Like This

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are sorry to hear about the way things have been going for you. It must be pretty difficult to live in a home where you feel as if you're alone. It seems that you are not receiving any support at home. Does anyone else know about what takes place at home? It seems that you may receive emotional support from your friends which must helps make a difference. Have you considered or tried speaking to a counselor or therapist?

It sounds like you have a lot to be proud of and it’s unfortunate that those closest to you are not recognizing it. Teens often have concerns about their weight and it’s not right for your sisters to joke about it especially if the jokes are bothering you. There are teen support hotlines if you need to speak to someone about just being a teen.

You stated that you have thought about dying and would like for us to send you some help. In order to better assist you would have to get some additional information from you. Are you interested in counseling services? If so, we would need your city and state to provide local referrals. If you would like to speak to someone at the National Suicide Hotline, you can reach them at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If you need immediate assistance, you can always give us a call as well at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are confidential, anonymous, and available 24 hours 7 days.

We look forward to hearing from you and we hope that you continue to remain strong.

~NRS

[Unregistered]

i think im just going to keep it between me and my friends and if i need a little more help with coping with this i will go to a counselor. i dont like seeming ungrateful for all that i have and i know in the end ill end up better off in life then my sisters which is why i try to continue with my life. sometimes i wonder if the do the things they do because their jelouse or because they might care and be trying to make me stronger and not fear things.

[ccsmod6]

RE: Tired Of Living Like This

Thanks for getting back in contact with the National Runaway Switchboard. It seems that you have an idea as to what steps you want to take. You must be a strong person to remain optimistic despite of how things are going. We wish you the best with your decisions. Remember you can always give us a call to explore additional options or obtain resources.

Best Wishes
~NRS