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  • 16 and uncomfortable.

    Hi I'm A and I've lived here in CA my whole life. (16 years). My dad and I used to get along great up until I was 13. He finally got a job and stopped being a stay at home dad. He started working as a Probation Officer. We stopped talking and our relationship crumbled. And I started getting in trouble. I never got in trouble before then! I don't know if it was because he was never home anymore, and I lost guidance, or if he just became way more strict. I don't get in trouble that much, but when I do its "big". I say that because its not really that big, but I get punished severely. I don't do drugs. I've never drank alcohol. I don't smoke. I don't even go to parties. I'm home schooled as of the moment, I'm taking extra classes, and all my classes are honors and AP college classes, and it is tough. I still get all my work done, but my dad has made it so if I don't have all my homework done before he gets home at 5, he grounds me for a whole week. I have to have my assignments perfect, and I can't even be missing the date or else I'm on restriction! A month ago, I was still working when he got home at 5 on my last assignment. He snapped my phone, screamed at me at how I'm not good enough. And grounded me. Both my parents are atheist and I'm not. My grandma takes me to church 3+ times a week. I have great friends there and my parents punish me by not letting me go to church. My mom hates her brother( my uncle) and says I remind her of him because I procrastinate. She calls me on the phone and scorns me how I'm always not good enough almost daily! My parents treat me well with nice clothes, a nice house, and nice food. But they don't give me love, respect, and support. When I grow up I want to be a missionary in a third world country. How do you think these atheists responded when they heard that? Lately they have been threatening me with the kick out scene. My dad says it is illegal for him to do that, but he is allowed to put me on placement. I know I lie a few times a year about my video game habits, and my school work procrastination, but I am a good person and I don't deserve to go to bootcamp, or a boarding school for troubled boys! He says if I run away, there will be a warrant for my arrest or something. And I will be taken to juvy for awhile and then put into placement. Right now, I wanna run away and move in with one of the Christian familys at the church. I don't know how long they will let me stay, but I just need to finish up my last year of highschool in a christian environment. I have no idea what I would do. Would I continue my online schooling? Would I need my parents permission to get transferred to a school in hesperia? My parents said once I'm out of the house they will do absolutely nothing for me. I'm just worried that either cops will show up to take me to placement, that the families won't be able to have me for a year, or that my education will become a road block without my parents. My parents don't support me and I don't feel loved or even safe in this home. I want to have a normal christian family that will pray, and support me for who I am, and will even go with me to church a lot. Not this atheist, unloving, super strict parents I was born to. I believe this is where God is leading me, and I wanna have my facts down.
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 03-08-2011, 01:02 PM. Reason: remaining confidential and anonymous for safety

  • #2
    Re: 16 and uncomfortable.

    Hello,
    Thank you for reaching out to our bulletin boards. Sounds like things at home have taken a turn for the worse and you're not getting the support that you need from your family. That's rough and your feelings and experiences are completely valid.

    So, thank you for sharing.

    From all the things you've stated, it still seems like you have a fairly strong support system where you live/go to church. Does anyone around you know about what's happening at home? It sounds like your dad's behavior is coming out of nowhere because as you clarified before, he wasn't like this before he had a job. Has anyone else noticed a behavior change in him?

    It sounds like you're looking to find an alternative place to live and you're considering living with a family from the church. Have you talked to that family about the possibility/need to live with them? If you're saying that your parents are acting harshly against you, how do you think they'll react when you say you want to live with another family? Would it be helpful to try and have someone they know and trust...and someone you know and trust to talk to your parents about what's going on?

    Example: is there a relative that you can confide in and that can help you approach your parents about this option that you've considered? Do you feel comfortable talking to other people about home life? You've taken an awesome step reaching out to us and that already must be intense. Talking to more people isn't easy but sometimes that helps when you can find more support out there.

    And to touch on the issue of running away and what will happen if you do, running away is not a crime but your parents can call you in as a runaway and that might mean trouble for the family you're staying with. We're not certain that it will mean that you'll get sent to a 'placement' but there will be paperwork if your parents ever decide to try and place you somewhere.

    We hope that information helps.

    If something is missing or you need more questions answered, please call 1800-RUNAWAY 24 hours a day and we can work with you to explore your situation.

    Best of luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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