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need to leave but i feel i have to stay

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  • need to leave but i feel i have to stay

    i havent had the most fairy tale wonderful life no one does but i just cant stay with my dad and his step wife any more its been a slow build up of problems since i was 9 when my mom died they have clearly stated that im the problem and im not part of the family that they dont care how i feel because they have said this to me. my father is controlling i cant eat after a certain time, im not allowed to eat certain things, i have to answer him a certain way or i get punished, i dont like being controlled on top of the fact i have no privacy, he reads my texts i used to have a diary but that didnt go well, hes even told me hes pickin out my college and job. yesterday he read my texts and his wife lied on me and he basically choked me out, shes hit me and punched me before and i dont leave because i feel bad for them for leaving the people who take care of me but now after yesterday im planning to just go away on the 24th they have told me if i wanna leave i can they wont care. i feel unwanted and alone i dont get along with this part of my family im the black sheepi have places i can stay and be safe with people they dont know i plan t return after our little break for school i wont let them stop me from graduating but i feell like theres no escape unless i leave on my own or ima just be depressed is it wrong to want to leave?

  • #2
    Thank you for sharing you story with us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you’ve had a really tough time at home lately and are considering leaving. While we are not here to make that decision for you, we are here to listen and can go over pros and cons. Some common questions to think about before leaving can be found by going here: http://www.1800runaway.org/youth_teens/nrs_help.html.

    We appreciate you being honest and open about your situation. We imagine it was very hard to lose your mom so young and to now feel unwanted by your family. We are sorry to hear that your dad is controlling and basically choked you and your step-mom hit you and has punched you before. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home and while we don’t determine what is or isn’t abuse, we can advocate for youth who find themselves in these types of situations. We are mandated reporters so if someone gives us certain identifying information (like names, address, phone number, etc.) then we would have to relay this information to Child Protective Services (CPS). For youth that would like to report possible abuse we can either take down their information, or make a three-way call on their behalf to CPS. Again, we are not here to make decisions for anyone, but one option might be to contact Child Help USA: 1-800-433-4453. They don’t actually take reports, but they can talk about situations that involve abuse.

    It sounds like you’ve planned out what you will do if you runaway and you mention trying to stay safe. We are not legal experts, but to our knowledge running away is just a status offense. This means that the reason anyone who is not a legal adult cannot leave is simply because of their age. Other laws associated with running away include harboring a runaway, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and crossing state lines with a minor. These laws usually affect the person helping a runaway, not the actual runaway and the consequences can vary from state to state. We are sorry to hear you are depressed and although we cannot tell you if it is “wrong” to want to leave, it is understandable that you would consider this an option with everything that has been going on. We hope you are able to remain safe and encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you’d like to further discuss anything. We are available anonymous, confidential, and available 24/7.

    Best of luck to you!
    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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